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The 7 Things That Really Look Good on a College Application

College Admissions , College Info

What looks good on a college application? It's the question nearly every high school student will ask at some point while applying to college. But is there a clear answer?

Fortunately, the answer is yes! Read on to learn what colleges look for in applicants, what looks really good on a college application, and what kinds of myths there are about good things to put on a college application.

What Are Colleges Looking for in Applicants?

Everyone applying to college has wondered, "What exactly are colleges looking for in applicants?" In other words, what looks good on a college application?

While all colleges are different, of course, with some valuing certain qualities or skills more or less than other schools, all colleges generally look for smart, studious, ambitious, and passionate students.

Therefore, your college application should emphasize your best, most impressive qualities. For example, if you play the violin and want to study music in college, you'll want to touch on this interest you have in different areas of your application.

A good college application will also showcase your sincere interest in the school. You wouldn't be applying to a college unless you had a reason to want to go there, right? Make sure to explain (especially if you need to write a "Why This College" essay ) exactly how you became interested in the school and why you think it's a good fit for you and your goals.

You don't need to be the next Marie Curie or Stephen Hawking, but you should be open to new opportunities and willing to challenge yourself.

Overall, the basic point of a college application is to make you stand out from other applicants in a positive, memorable, and unique way.

This fact is especially important in light of how many first-year applications colleges receive each year. According to the 2019 report by the National Association for College Admission Counseling (NACAC) , the number of first-year applications received by US colleges increased by 6% from fall 2017 to fall 2018.

The report found that "the average number of applications for each admission office staff member (excluding administrative staff) for the Fall 2017 admission cycle was 1,035 for public institutions and 461 for private institutions."

These trends indicate that your application will definitely need to leave a lasting impression on the admissions committee if you hope to get into that school.

The degree by which you must stand out from other applicants will depend on how selective a particular school is. In general, the more selective a college is, the more impressive and unique your application will have to be.

Finally, what looks good on an application will vary depending on the college and what the college values. For instance, at colleges that don't place a big emphasis on standardized tests, a high SAT score likely won't be much of a factor in admissions.

This is just a general overview of what colleges look for in applicants. So what looks really good on a college application? Up next, we look at the specific qualities you should strive to include on your application so you can raise your chances of getting accepted.

What Looks Good on a College Application? 7 Key Elements

In addition to key personality traits, such as ambition, passion, genuine interest, and academic curiosity, what looks really good on a college application?

In general, a great application will have most or all of the following elements:

• A high GPA (relative to what admitted students have) and a rigorous curriculum
• Strong test scores (relative to what admitted students have)
• A specific, honest, and well-written personal statement and/or essays
• A unique extracurricular interest or passion (a "spike," as we like to call it)
• Volunteering experience with measurable impact
• Compelling letters of recommendation written on your behalf
• Work experience, particularly jobs related to your academic or professional interests

It's OK if you don't have every single quality listed above, but if you do, your chances of getting accepted to the college of your dreams will go way up!

Now then, let's take a look at each of these qualities in more detail.

#1: Excellent Grades in Challenging Courses

The first important part of the college application is the transcript, which consists of your GPA and the names and types of classes you've taken in high school.

Most people believe a high GPA (the definition of which can vary at different colleges) will make an application stronger. And this is true!

According to NACAC, 75% of colleges ranked grades in high school classes considerably important. In fact, this factor was ranked the most important of any in the report.

What's truly important, though, isn't that you simply have a high GPA overall but rather that you have a GPA that's higher than the average GPA of admitted students at the college you're applying to.

To find a college's average GPA, search "[School Name] PrepScholar admission requirements" on Google and then click our database link to that school. This page will show you what the school's average GPA is, in addition to other admission requirements.

For example, if you want to apply to Notre Dame, you would search for "Notre Dame PrepScholar admission requirements" and click the link to our Notre Dame admission reqs page , which looks like this:

As you can see, Notre Dame's average (weighted) GPA for admitted applicants is 4.06. As a result, if you're applying here, you'll want to have a GPA of at least 4.06, preferably higher so you will be an above-average applicant.

It's not just about getting a high GPA, though; you must also take a range of challenging courses throughout high school if you really wish to impress an admissions committee. According to the NACAC report, 73 percent of colleges rated grades in college prep courses as considerably important. This means you'll want to take not just basic-level classes but also some AP, honors, and/or IB courses, particularly in subjects you are good at and might want to continue to study in college or major in.

The 2019 NACAC report found that a whopping 84% of colleges ranked an applicant's rigor of curriculum moderately or considerably important.

Think about it: though a perfect 4.0 might look great at an initial glance, if you got this high GPA by only taking the easiest classes available and didn't challenge yourself with higher-level coursework, your transcripts aren't likely to impress college admissions officers that much.

Even if you started high school with lower grades, an upward grade trend is a great point to emphasize on your application. This suggests that you're capable of bouncing back from any difficulties you might face and are willing to put in the work necessary for excelling in college.

#2: High Test Scores

Test scores, mainly SAT/ACT scores, are another key part of college applications (unless, of course, you're applying to colleges that don't require test scores ).

On the NACAC report, 83% of colleges believe admission test scores are at least moderately important. This is why it's vital that you try to get as high an SAT/ACT score as you can, ideally one in at least the 75th percentile for your colleges.

The 75th percentile means that 75% of admitted students at a particular school achieved this score or lower. Reaching (or surpassing) this threshold means that you're scoring higher than most other admitted applicants are—and well above that college's average score.

To find the middle 50% (that is, the 25th and 75th percentile SAT/ACT scores) for a school, search on Google for "[School Name] PrepScholar admission requirements." Click the link to our page for the school to see its requirements, including its average SAT/ACT scores.

For example, say you're planning to apply to NYU. Here's what the SAT scores section on NYU's PrepScholar admission reqs page looks like:

Here, we can see the average SAT score for NYU is 1440—that's pretty high, in the 95th percentile nationally !

To really stand out as an applicant, though, you'll want to aim for at least the 75th percentile. For NYU, that's 1510, which corresponds to the 98th percentile, or the top 1% of test takers.

Since you're likely applying to more than just one school, you'll need to set an SAT / ACT goal score , that is, a score high enough to get you into all the colleges you're applying to.

To set a goal score, start by making a chart of all the schools you're applying to. You can make your own chart or download a blank template .

Below is a sample SAT goal score chart:

Next, look up the 25th and 75th percentile SAT scores for each of the schools you're applying to using our PrepScholar admission requirements pages. (Follow the steps above for NYU to learn how to do this.)

Once you've got these scores, write them in your chart as so:

Now, look at all the 75th percentile scores in your chart. The highest score will be your goal score, as this is the one most likely to get you into all the schools you're applying to.

With our example chart, the highest score is 1480, or the 75th percentile score for the University of Illinois and UW Wisconsin. By getting a 1480 or higher, you'll be getting an impressive score not just for these two schools, school but also for Marquette and MSU, thereby raising your chances of getting into all colleges you're applying to.

#3: Sincere, Specific, and Well-Written Essays

The personal statement is an important part of your college application as it's one of the only areas where you can really showcase your personality.

According to the 2019 NACAC survey, 56% of schools consider application essays moderately or considerably important. While some colleges don't require essays , those that do usually place at least moderate importance on them.

So how can you ensure your essay will impress the admissions committee? Generally, colleges are looking for three main qualities in a personal essay:

• Honesty: What you write about should have actually happened to you and should be how you actually feel. Exaggerating details and outright lying are big no-nos here!
• Specificity: Using concrete details to effectively convey your thoughts, views, and experiences will make your essay a lot more memorable, personable, and—most importantly—unique.
• Eloquence: Don't expect to get accepted anywhere if your essay is poorly written and full of grammar and spelling errors. A great personal statement has a sensible organization, tells a compelling story, and is completely free of technical errors.

Below are some steps you can take to guarantee that your essay will have all three qualities.

Step 1: Brainstorm Significant Moments From Your Life

What you write about for your college essay will vary depending on the prompt(s) you're given from your school or the prompt you choose (for example, the Common App and Coalition App allow you to choose from among several prompts for your essay).

In general, you'll want to pick a topic that meets the following criteria:

• It really happened and was significant to you: If you're writing about a specific incident, it should be something that actually happened and that had a large impact on how you define yourself, your goals, and/or your interests.
• It's specific and interesting: Don't write about a broad, universal topic that can apply to tons of other applicants as well. Instead, focus on an event, issue, person, or struggle that's unique to you and your life.
• It reveals something important about you: The essay is meant to highlight something you think the admissions committee should know about you, such as a personality trait you have, how you overcame some sort of challenge, or how you became interested in a field of study.
• It has a positive lean: While you don't need to pick a topic that's overly light or cheery, it should still have an ultimately positive lean that reveals something good about you rather than something bad, controversial, or immoral.

Step 2: Write Your Essay

The next step is to actually begin writing your essay. Don't worry too much about grammar and flow at this point; just get down your ideas and start deciding which details and examples might work well in your essay.

As you write, remember to channel your inner voice. This essay should sound like the real you, not an imitation of what you think colleges want to hear. So if you're the sarcastic type, you might want to include a joke or two, for instance. Don't forget that the essay is a way for the admissions committee to learn more about you, so don't shy away from your true self!

On that same note, it's OK to get creative here. The essay isn't an academic essay you'd write for English class—it's a story. Feel free to inject your writing with various literary techniques , such as a non-chronological organization, realistic dialogue, and memorable imagery.

Lastly, make sure you're sufficiently answering the prompt and are abiding by all technical requirements (such as length). You can check a college's essay requirements by referring to its application requirements page or by reading the instructions on the Common App, Coalition App, or Universal College App websites (if submitting your application through one of these platforms).

An essay that's too long might get cut off when you submit it electronically, so be sure it adheres to all the requirements.

Step 3: Edit and Proofread Several Times

Once you have a rough draft of your college essay, it's time to polish it up for submission.

The best way to edit is to put your essay away for a few days. This will give you some distance away from your writing, allowing you to look back at your essay later with a fresher perspective.

As you reread your essay, mark any areas in it that are unclear, awkward, or irrelevant to the main point you're trying to make with it. You should also correct any obvious typos or errors, such as mistakes in grammar, spelling, or punctuation.

Once you've done this process a few times, give your essay to someone to read. Ideally, this will be a person you trust, such as a parent, teacher, counselor, or tutor. Have the person you choose offer clear feedback on your essay and check that you've met all requirements. Edit your essay as needed in accordance with the comments you get.

After you've finished all of this, you should now have a perfect college essay to submit with your application!

#4: A Spike in Your Extracurriculars

Almost every college will want to know what kinds of extracurricular activities you do or have done in your spare time.

Indeed, 49% of colleges surveyed regard students' extracurricular activities moderately or considerably important. Ask yourself: what are your interests outside of school and how do you engage in them?

The trick here is to provide not a list of all the random activities you've done but rather a detailed overview of one to two of your most passionate interests and any big achievements you've made in them.

In other words, you need to figure out what your "spike" is, a concept which PrepScholar co-founder and Harvard alum Allen Cheng describes in his expert guide on how to get into the Ivy League .

To put it simply, a spike is deep accomplishment in and knowledge of a particular field.

As an example, say you plan to major in biology. You'll stand out as an applicant if you have tons of biology- or science-related experiences under your belt. Maybe you're part of your school's biology club, or maybe you volunteered at a local research lab, which taught you the basics of handling lab equipment.

In addition to having a variety of experiences and sufficient background knowledge in the field, you want to highlight any relevant major accomplishments you have. For instance, maybe you won a science fair your sophomore year of high school; most recently, you submitted an award-winning invention idea to a national science contest. All of these accomplishments illustrate your deep accomplishment and knowledge in the field of science!

As you can see, this concept of the spike is the opposite of being well rounded, which most students assume they need to be (read the next section to learn more about this myth).

If you're not sure what your spike is just yet, take some time to try out new activities and explore any interests you have, both in and outside of school. Over time you should start to get a feel for what you're passionate about and what you can see yourself committing to in the future.

#5: Compelling Letters of Recommendation

Most colleges require at least one letter of recommendation from either your high school counselor or a high school teacher (or both).

The 2019 NACAC survey indicates that 54% of colleges consider teacher recommendations at least moderately important, while a higher 55% consider counselor recommendations the same. Therefore, we can say it's pretty important to secure great recommendation letters for your application.

If you're asking for a letter from a teacher , make sure to choose someone whose class you got a high grade in (ideally an A) and who is familiar with your abilities, ambitions, and interests. Typically, you'll need to submit at least one letter from a teacher who taught a core class (so math, English, science, or social studies/history).

It's a good idea to also get a letter from a teacher who works in the field you plan to major in. So if you got an A in AP English and plan to major in English, asking that teacher for a recommendation letter would give a great boost to your application.

While you don't have to be best buddies with the teacher you ask, they should definitely know you well , beyond the classroom, so they can effectively explain to admissions committees what makes you special, that is, what makes you worth admitting.

For example, if you did research with a particular teacher, are part of a club this teacher coaches or leads, or helped out this teacher with a project, this would be a good person to ask to write a letter for you.

Once you've secured a recommendation letter writer, be sure to provide them with any materials or information they might need to help them craft a compelling letter .

#6: Volunteering Experience With Measurable Impact

Colleges love it when an applicant has not simply volunteered but has also made a measurable impact with their volunteering efforts. What does this mean exactly? If you have volunteered somewhere or for an organization, your assistance should have resulted in a noticeable, positive change to the group, community, or area you were aiming to help.

For instance, say you volunteered at a local library. Maybe the library was struggling to get funds to continue operating, and you came up with the idea to hold a 24-hour reading marathon in order to raise money. The fundraiser ended up making more than $5,000, a figure that would be a concrete indicator of the positive impact your service had on the library. With your college application, then, you could specifically mention how your initiative allowed the library to remain open.

Note that you don't need to have assumed a leadership role in order to have made a positive impact through your service. That said, college admissions committees are often very big fans of students who show evidence of their budding leadership skills.

#7: (Relevant) Work Experience

Although you're certainly not required to work a part-time job in high school, having some work experience on your college applications, especially any jobs that are related to what you want to study or do professionally, will help you stand out in a positive way.

Even if your job isn't connected to a long-term academic or career goal you have, any (part-time) work experience you have will be great to put down on your application because it emphasizes your sense of responsibility, maturity, and willingness to work for your goals, key qualities that are usually considered important for success in college.

Also, if you have any room on the application to elaborate on your job, I suggest explaining why you initially took the job and what values or skills it's taught you, such as the importance of responsibility or how to work with certain equipment that you'll likely use again in the future.

4 Myths About What Looks Good on a College Application

What looks really good on a college application? Many students think they know, but the truth is that there are a lot of myths out there about what you should include on your application.

Below, we introduce to you the top four myths about what looks good on college applications.

Myth 1: Being Well Rounded Is Critical for Success

One of the most pervasive myths out there about what looks good on a college application is the idea of being well rounded.

Many students assume they'll need to have tons of extracurricular activities on their applications; this, they believe, will emphasize their array of interests as well as their knowledge of a variety of fields. But all this really tells admissions committees is that you're stretching yourself too thin and (most likely) lack focus on a specific endeavor in your life.

What colleges actually want to see is a spike, that is, a single passion. This allows colleges to get a clearer feel for who you are, what you're interested in, and what your goals are. Having a spike lets you stand out in a truly meaningful way, whereas being well rounded will make you forgettable and seem too similar to other applicants.

Spikes are especially important at highly selective colleges and universities , such as Harvard, Yale, and other Ivy League-level schools . You can read more about how to develop a spike in our guide to getting into the Ivy League . Alternatively, if you're interested in pursuing education at a liberal arts school , check out our article on how to figure out what to go to college for .

Myth 2: Essays Aren't That Important

After Time published a 2014 article on why college application essays don't actually matter all that much , students began to fear that all their hard work on their statements wouldn't mean much in the end, if at all.

But while some colleges don't require personal essays , most colleges do require at least one or two essays—and will place a decent amount of emphasis on it, especially if it is being used as a deciding factor between two otherwise equally qualified applicants.

Even though you should approach the essay seriously, it's still generally rare for an exceptionally well-written essay to make up for tons of low grades and poor test scores. On the flip side, if you have a great application but a badly written essay, that essay alone could get you rejected!

Therefore, make sure that you are following all the steps listed above so you can craft the perfect statement for your application.

Myth 3: An A in an Easy Class Is Better Than a B in a Hard Class

Many students believe it's better to stick to the classes you know you'll get As in, but this piece of advice is misguided when it comes to college applications.

In general, colleges prefer students who challenge themselves by taking an array of difficult classes, such as AP and honors classes. And you don't have to get perfect grades in them. If you get a B in a tough AP class, for example, this will emphasize to the admissions committee that you are willing to take on new challenges and test your limits, traits that are necessary for succeeding in and after college.

On the other hand, getting As in all easy classes, though not totally unimpressive, is not nearly as interesting to colleges, as it suggests you're unwilling to push yourself and further hone your higher-level critical thinking skills.

All of this being said, try to avoid getting very low grades in any classes you take (regular or honors/AP). C and D grades obviously won't look great to an admissions committee, even if you got these grades while challenging yourself in AP classes.

If you can't get at least a B or B+ in a difficult class, it'll probably be better for you to drop it and switch to either the regular version of that class or an entirely different class altogether.

Myth 4: Only Perfect Applicants Get Admitted

Many students assume that if they have one little flaw in their application, such as a below-average test score or slightly low grade in a class, their chances of getting admitted to college will be slim to none.

This just isn't true.

Yes, a very low test score or a very poor transcript may cause you to get rejected from a college, but many colleges use a holistic admission process, meaning they look at and consider each individual applicant as a whole. So even if your application has a not-so-stellar component on it, this doesn't necessarily mean you'll be a reject.

In fact, at particularly selective colleges, such as the Ivy League , you'll often hear of cases in which ostensibly "perfect" applicants got rejected. This is most likely because they didn't have a spike in their applications (i.e., something that made them stand out).

Overall, just try your best to produce the best application you can, and then hope for a good result!

Takeaways: What Looks Good on a College Application

Applying to college is tough, and knowing what to put on your applications to make yourself stand out is even tougher. What looks really good on a college application?

Generally speaking, colleges want to see your passion, intellectual curiosity, willingness to challenge yourself, and academic accomplishments.

More specifically, though, colleges typically prefer applicants who have most or all of the following characteristics:

• Good grades and a challenging course load
• Strong test scores
• Honest, specific, and eloquent essays
• A spike in your extracurricular activities
• Compelling letters of recommendation
• Volunteer experience with clear impact on the groups or places you've helped
• Any relevant or impactful work experience

Finally, as you apply to college and try to think of good things to put on a college application, make sure you're aware of the following truths about the application process:

• It's better to have a spike than to be well rounded
• Essays are important!
• A B in a hard course is more impressive than an A in an easy course
• You can still get into your dream school even if your application isn't perfect

What's Next?

A great college application will get you admitted. Use our college acceptance calculator to get an estimated percentage of your chance of getting into your dream school, based on your SAT or ACT score and GPA.

One thing a great college application can have is a high SAT or ACT score. Get expert tips in our guides on how to get a perfect 36 on the ACT and how to get a perfect 1600 on the SAT .

Need help figuring out which colleges to apply to? Our guide teaches you how to narrow down your college choices so that you're applying to the best schools for you.

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Hannah received her MA in Japanese Studies from the University of Michigan and holds a bachelor's degree from the University of Southern California. From 2013 to 2015, she taught English in Japan via the JET Program. She is passionate about education, writing, and travel.

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July 14, 2021

The Essay Whisperer: How to Write a College Application Essay

In your senior year of high school, the pressure is on to write your college application essays. Your mission: to present yourself in a way that is real, substantial, and authentic, and thereby boost your chances of getting accepted to the school of your choice. But the anticipation of writing your college application essays may be harder than actually writing them. In this article, we will show you how to write a winning college essay in a proven, practical, and (almost!) stress-free method. Have no fear: Accepted is here!

In this post:

Part 1: An Action Plan for (Almost) Stress-Free College Essay Writing

Part 2: How To Involve Parents in a Helpful Way

Part 3: How Writing Your Essays Will Help You Grow as a Person

Part 4: Identify Each School’s Values

Part 5: Brainstorm Ideas

Part 6: Finding Your Essay Theme or Topic

Part 7: What You Can Learn from Reading Sample Essays

Part 8: How Outlines Help You

Part 9: Write Your Draft as if You Are Talking to a Friend

Part 10: Get Feedback from Trusted Readers

Part 11: Edit and polish

If you’re a high school senior, you already know all the reasons why writing your college application essays can be a daunting prospect: 

• You have to talk about yourself and make a good impression on the group of faceless people who will be judging you and determining whether to accept you.
• You have to reflect on your experiences to show something important about yourself, but you may worry whether what you think is important will impress college admissions committees.
• You don’t honestly think you know enough about yourself and the world (isn’t that why you are going to college?) to write convincingly.
• You haven’t had much writing experience that requires taking a “personal inventory” of experiences and lessons learned to make a point about your abilities and interests. How will you know which of your life experiences will be considered significant? What if you think something is a great idea, but it really isn’t? 

As you get started, you may want to solicit suggestions from your parents, teachers or other trusted adults, but then again, maybe their ideas and suggested wording wouldn’t feel right. Maybe you don’t want to feel the pressure of having to take their ideas. 

You’ve got a lot riding on these essays. With your busy academic and extracurricular schedule, however, finding the time and emotional space to sit down and begin discovering what you want to say to college admissions committees may feel especially intimidating.

But enough with the potential problems and roadblocks. Here’s the good news: This article will show you how to get the job done. Whether you have three months, three weeks, or three days to complete the essay (and we’d vote for the three months, but some application decisions are made late, and inspiration sometimes needs a tight deadline), this process will help you not only write a quality personal statement, but even enjoy doing it. You’ll also learn about yourself and grow as an individual — something that will help prepare you for college.

Ready for more good news? This article will show you how to invite your parents or other adults to play a role that will benefit you, and that will not be overbearing or intrusive. You can help parents feel included in a meaningful way. 

Part 1: An action plan for (almost) stress-free college essay writing 

In your senior year of high school, the pressure is on to write your college application essays.  

Let’s look at 7 steps to get you started: 

• Get the essential information you need organized . With your list of target colleges in front of you, visit each school website, download any school-specific application essay questions, and find the common application essay questions to choose from. Note that some schools also require a supplemental essay. Save or print out this information for each school.
• Start brainstorming . Focus on the essay questions that appeal to you most. Then let yourself free-associate with images, words, memories, and writing strategies based on these essay questions. Write whatever comes to mind, without thinking, censoring, or deliberating. This exercise is called “freewriting” and we will go into more detail in Part 4. You may be surprised by what comes up and how useful your ideas will be. If you are still stuck, you can invite parents or other trusted adults to brainstorm with you.
• Put that writing away . Let your ideas marinate for a few days. You will have started an important creative process in your mind.
• Exercise . You probably already know that exercise isn’t just great for your body, but also stimulates intellectual creativity. Exercising clears your mind and opens the door for original and new ideas for your essays. Keep a pad and pencil or pen by your bed so that you can jot ideas down if they come to you in a dream or upon waking, before your mind has taken on the day and you lose the idea. 
• Read your freewrite aloud . When you return to these notes, listen to how they sound, and let your parents listen to them also. (If the material or situation is too sensitive for your parents to hear at this time, think of another adult who will listen in a non-judgmental manner. Perhaps one of your teachers would be a good choice, or perhaps your parents might suggest a colleague, relative, or friend.) 
• Identify key ideas. How did your freewriting thoughts resonate with you, and with your trusted listener? Based on having had some distance from the ideas and revisiting them with fresh eyes, identify where your energy, honesty, convictions, and interests lie. You may already be homing in on your essay theme.
• Let the writing begin! Start your draft using the advice in this article as your roadmap. 

Part 2: How to involve parents in a helpful way 

Your parents love you and only want the best for you, however, their efforts to help you may go awry. For example, they might worry that you aren’t planting your bottom in the chair and getting cracking on that essay early enough. They may also worry that you might not come across in the way that they want you to, wondering if you might sound too modest, too revealing, too simple, or perhaps not serious enough. All those worries will filter down and add stress to you both.

There are other common scenarios when parents involve themselves in the college essay writing challenge: 

• They focus on the competitive nature of college admissions so much that they can be quick to judge your writing, and fail to nourish the spark of individuality that is in early drafts.
• Focusing on the looming deadlines, they may stress you out by telling you that you are falling behind schedule in completing the applications, but when they start nagging, you stop listening. 
• They may pressure you (even if subtly) to write what they think is best. 
• They think they are better writers than you are–which may be true–and correct your drafts in a way that makes you sound unnaturally adult, or makes your essay too general. These sorts of “interventions” can alienate you and make you feel your true life experience is being falsified.
• Alternately, parents really may not understand the writing process themselves. Feeling incompetent as writers, they worry, worry, worry about how you will ever write the essay. When is the last time you responded enthusiastically to worry? Or nagging? Or corruption of your story? Right–never.

As if these potential minefields aren’t enough, you may also resist your parents’ help for your own reasons: 

• You understand your experiences differently than your parents do.
• You may worry that you will put your thoughts and reflections on the page in a way that may not please them or meet their expectations. 
• You may get the feeling that your parents don’t really know you as well as they think they do. Therefore, having parents as a first audience can short circuit your own way of thinking things through.
• You and your parents may not agree on which schools you should apply to.

The essay whisperer is here to help!

Now that we’ve laid out so many potential areas of conflict, we’re ready with a plan of action to avoid them as much as possible. Here are steps to plan for a smooth and logical plan of action that preserves family harmony, or at least avoids World War III: 

• Have a family meeting . The purpose here is for both you and your parents to honestly state each one’s needs, fears, and understanding of this process. If you and your parents don’t agree on the appropriateness of some of the colleges chosen, agree to hear one another’s lists of pros and cons for each choice. It is important that everyone feels heard. Be careful not to shut your parents out, but to hear them respectfully.
• Be honest with your parents about what kind of help you need most from them . They will want to be included and know that you value their insights. But just as importantly, let them know what you are confident you can manage on your own. If you and your parents decide that it is better that someone not as intimately connected with the family help you with ideas or editing suggestions, brainstorm names of those who might offer help, such as relatives and neighbors who write well or are easy to talk with, books, or professional college admissions counselors like those at Accepted. 
• Show your parents your college application deadline calendar with each school’s deadline requirements . This is especially useful if you or your parents are worried about getting the application and writing tasks done on time given your myriad activities. Some schools will be higher priority for you than others, but consider starting the application for the less important schools first, just to get your feet wet. Of course, if your top-choice schools have the earliest deadlines, move on those as Priority #1. Offer to update your parents on your progress weekly, but not more often than that. Agree together that parents bugging kids to finish the essay is not a good idea, and that kids not communicating their progress to their parents is also not a good idea. Make sure your calendar has scheduled plenty of writing time and time for editing each essay at least three or four times. This is normal. 
• Express appreciation for your parents’ support . They may well be paying for your college education and of course want to see you succeed. They will be reassured that you are mature enough to handle this task if you are also mature enough to validate and acknowledge what they have always done for you, and what they are doing now. Listen to their suggestions, and don’t automatically pooh-pooh any of their ideas. 
• Plan to celebrate! Mark your calendars for when you will have submitted your last application, and choose some way to CELEBRATE! It’s a great thing to look forward to. 

When should you consider going to your parents for help with your essay themes or content? A good rule of thumb is that even after you have given a lot of thought to the various essay options and you are still uncertain, or you know what question appeals to you most, but are not sure which among your experiences will make the best case for it, that is the time to sit down with your parents or the friends and other adults you have chosen to help you. 

Tell them why you have chosen these essay topics and how they speak to you. Ask them what comes to mind about you for each of your chosen topics and write down their ideas. Re-read your initial brainstorming notes, and see what starts to click. 

Part 3: How writing your essays will help you grow as a person 

Did you know that the word “essay” comes from the French word meaning “to assay?” An essay is an inquiry into experience — a finding out what is true. We read personal essays to find out how the writer thinks. We read them hoping to enjoy the writer’s skill with language, insights, knowledge, life experience, and perhaps sense of humor also. Through reading about another person’s life, we enrich our own experience vicariously. 

While many people wish they didn’t have to “assay” into their thoughts and reflections to write a personal essay, many applicants end up grateful for the experience. In modern life we have so little time when we aren’t connected to our phones, social media, messaging, Whatsapp-ing. We don’t have much time to simply sit, think, and reflect. It may feel weird or uncomfortable at first, but taking the time for this reflection helps us get to know ourselves. Shouldn’t we know who we are a bit better than we do? 

Thinking about your college essays, taking the time to brainstorm ideas for them and discuss them with a few trusted adults who know you and your abilities, is a wonderful opportunity. You’ll not only get to know yourself better, but you’ll gain an appreciation for the budding adult you are becoming. You’ll realize what you have experienced and what you are made of. Sometimes, allowing others to see you searching for the truth can make you feel vulnerable. You may shy away from it. But you know what? People who show their vulnerability are also showing their strengths. In fact, people who can be revealing (in an appropriate way) are usually much admired, and seem more relatable to other people. 

The poet Robert Frost said, “If there is no discovery for the writer, there will be no discovery for the reader.” It’s the same with you and the college admissions committee –if they can track the way you have used their question for honest self-reflection about your life events, they will feel moved, interested, and excited. These are the qualities in an essay that make you real as a human being, beyond grades, test scores, and other statistics.

The best essays will emerge when you are writing about experiences and ideas that deeply interest you. Essays that are the product of “just going through the motions” will lack vitality. 

When you approach essay writing as an opportunity for greater self-knowledge, you won’t be sorry. You’ll be that much better prepared for the exciting and transformative years ahead in college. 

Part 4: Identify each school’s values 

Thinking about what attributes are most important to the schools according to their promotional material will help you devise a writing plan that works.

If you haven’t done so yet, download the current Common Application questions and any school specific application essay questions you are aware of for your target schools. After you read the questions, thoroughly read the schools’ promotional and catalog material. Find the wording where the school states what it values in their applicants and class members. For each school, write a list of attributes you cull from their materials: talented, diverse backgrounds, self-starters, and community minded. For instance, Stanford University’s motto: “The wind of freedom blows,” is an invitation to free and open inquiry in teaching and research. Indeed, as of January 2021, Stanford has 625 organized student groups, 18 institutes, 20 libraries, and a $1.6 billion research budget. On its homepage Stanford writes under “Academics,” “Preparing students to make meaningful contributions to society as engaged citizens and leaders in a complex world” In making a list of attributes that go along with these stated qualities, you might write down the following: being multi-talented, displaying high performance, contributing to your community, school, team or other organization.” and thriving in a place where your own talents would flourish while working with others of similar strong ability. In exploring the Stanford site, you will see the following topics: 

• Athletic/Recreational
• Careers/Preprofessional
• Community Service
• Ethnic/Cultural
• Fraternities/Sororities
• Health/Counseling
• Media/Publications
• Music/Dance/Creative Arts
• Political/Social Awareness
• Religious/Philosophical

Thinking about what attributes are most important to the schools according to their promotional material will help you devise a writing plan that works. In the Stanford example, for instance, let’s look at how Lidia, (a fictional applicant) who is a star of her high school girls’ soccer team, might use her skills on the team to draw a profile of herself as someone who fits the school’s student body.

Lidia can write about the time she influenced her teammates’ strategies and led the team to a victory in State Championships, a victory that happened because she successfully learned to communicate well with a student from an ethnic background that deals with competition and criticism very differently than she had been taught. Her compelling essay centers on learning how to communicate effectively with a teammate. Through this example, Lidia is demonstrating not only her soccer skill and the discipline involved to be part of a winning team, but also team-building, attempting to lead rather than accept the status quo. She also demonstrates openness to people unlike her and mature communication skills, thereby ensuring the team worked smoothly together toward common goals.

After you have made a list of the attributes each school seems to value, brainstorm the stories you can tell about yourself that illustrate these attributes. Write down various events, experiences, challenges, and successes that all relate to those attributes, and then prioritize your writing tasks.

Even if some of the schools you choose are not using the common application, you can often find similarities among various application essay questions. Certainly you can use some of the same core experiences for many of those essays, though you will need to tailor or focus experiences a bit differently to highlight how you reflect the values that each school looks for in its students. 

Part 5: Brainstorm ideas

Let’s review where we are in this process. 

• You know what questions you’ll be answering.
• You have your calendar showing when the applications are due and your target dates for completing the writing, editing, and having a trusted adult review your essays.
• You’ve begun brainstorming about content for your essays and the special qualities, abilities, interests, and goals that you can highlight in them. 
• You are clear about the various values that each school emphasizes in its promotional materials, as well as through its extracurricular clubs and activities.

Try as much as you can to make some measurable progress each week with your applications. The process will probably take longer than you anticipate, unexpected things will come up to delay your efforts, and the last thing you want is the added stress of the clock ticking toward the deadline and little to no progress on your essays. We will talk about editing later on, but keep in mind that it is entirely normal for drafts to require several edits–anywhere from three to six or more edits of your drafts are all typical, and each edit takes time. Aim to submit a week before the actual deadline. Don’t assume that you’ll be able to upload at the last minute when possibly thousands of other applicants are trying to do the same thing! A popular site could get swamped very close to the deadline and possibly crash.

  Let’s get back to brainstorming. Here’s how to start:

Focus on one question at a time, and when you start the next question, do another freewriting exercise, jotting down whatever ideas come to you for each topic. Don’t judge your ideas as good or bad. Just keep free-associating and writing ideas down. 

Now, here are two options for a more detailed brainstorming session:

One way is linear — just make a list. 

The other way is circular — clustering . In this method, you mine your experiences by writing the topic of the question in the middle of a page and circling it. Then when something comes to mind, write a phrase about it somewhere on the page, circle it and connect it to the middle words with a line. Then make little clusters of images and phrases that go with the words you’ve thought of, circling them and connecting them to the “balloon” of words you wrote down. When you have thought of all you can, start fresh with another image or phrase you jot in another area of the paper, once again circling it and connecting it to the question topic you’ve put in the center of the page. Keep coming up with fresh ideas and images until you think you know which one most interests you. Sometimes you know by how big the cluster is, or sometimes because you are energized to start a new cluster on a second page because you are curious to find out more about what you are remembering and thinking. Many think that there is writing power in “encircling.” The pattern-making, creative mind is invited in when things don’t go in a straight line.

Using this approach, you might start your cluster based on choosing to answer this common application essay question: Describe a problem you’ve solved or a problem you’d like to solve. It can be an intellectual challenge, a research query, an ethical dilemma– anything that is of personal importance, no matter the scale. Explain its significance to you and what steps you took or could take to identify a solution.

Circle this question and then connect an experience you’ve had and how it fits this question. Let’s look at a hypothetical with an applicant named Sam, who tutored underprivileged kids in math and reading. Sam can immediately start “bubbling” related experiences: 

• The first day as a tutor and how nervous he was. 
• Discovering that one of the students was painfully shy and even had a hard time making eye contact with him.
• Wondering how he could get the child to feel more trusting and open.
• Talking to the tutoring center director for her suggestions on bringing the child out.
• Doing some reading on his own time about creating trust with young, shy children.
• Having a breakthrough moment and getting his first smile from the child, followed by real progress in math and reading.
• Lessons learned from this experience.

Notice how each of these circled or “bubbled” memories connects to the question, while showing how Sam tackled this problem. This was partly an intellectual challenge but more an interpersonal and psychological challenge, one where he gained important insights.

Let’s look at another example, this time from our soccer player, Lidia. Her experience in learning about cross-cultural communication and understanding, as well as leadership, encouraged her to answer this question from the common application: The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience? Lidia can immediately start bubbling the following memories:

• Observing early in the soccer season how personality conflicts among team members start to hurt their game.
• Her attempts to encourage better cooperation and having them backfire when a girl from a different cultural background only dug in her heels further, making the team’s problems worse. 
• Feeling personally frustrated that the team might flame out due to interpersonal tensions–soccer is very important to Lidia.
•  Discussing the problem with a teacher at school who is from the same culture as the girl whose sense of competition seems to have inflamed conflict, and gaining insights into that culture and suggestions on a new way to approach her.
• Finding and reading a book about dealing with difficult personalities, and gaining some important insights about listening with compassion in order to win cooperation. 
• Using her new insights, testing some new approaches with the team and seeing results.
• Connecting these experiences and lessons learned and seeing how Lidia will benefit from them in college classes, extracurricular activities, and other involvements. 

Part 6: Finding your essay theme or topic

Your topic doesn’t have to be the most earth shattering or amazing experience, but it has to be about something that matters to you. Something that engages you. Something you are interested in describing, exploring a bit further than you have so far and learning from as you write. It should be an experience that you describe with specifics, colorful anecdotes, and emotional truth. 

Let’s look at an example by a candidate we’ll call Anna, who aspires to become a fashion editor for a national magazine. Anna has worked on her school’s yearbook two years in a row, as assistant editor and editor-in-chief. She has also participated for years in a fundraising, long-distance bicycle ride to benefit medical research on a disease that took the life of a local boy. But what was the link between these two activities?

Anna considered two outcomes: One was that her classmates responded enthusiastically to her redesign ideas for the yearbook  and turned out for the yearbook club in record numbers. Second, more than 1,000 people in her town supported the bike riders raising money for research. After some thought, Anna realized that both outcomes had something in common:  her ability to mobilize numbers of people and have an impact. This realization helped her think about fashion magazine editing as a way to reach even greater numbers of people and for goals that are profoundly meaningful to Anna — foster green manufacturing, develop industries in impoverished areas, and strengthen global child labor laws. 

As she made these connections, Anna was able to view her high school experiences as training for joining important clubs in college and for obtaining the internships that would help her connect with the publishing and fashion industry, and to make a difference in the world by using her talents and interests. As a consequence of writing her essay, Anna saw herself as directed, purposeful, and ready for new challenges.

Another candidate, Madison, really enjoyed the work she was doing part-time at an early childhood education center. Although she didn’t want to become a teacher, Madison was learning much about education from the teacher for whom she was working as an aid. She was also learning a great deal directly from watching how the children learned. While she didn’t yet have a vision for her career, Madison was able to harness this experience and the insights she gained about learning and discuss how she would approach her own higher education — with joy and appreciation, by helping peers, and by extending learning from one area into others. She drew a compelling portrait of herself as a student who was excited to learn and who would contribute to the education of those around her.

A third candidate, Kayla, was the child of a father who’d come from India and a mother who was an American Jew from the Midwest. The couple had met at school in California. The family had very recently all gone to visit the father’s extended family in India. It was the first trip Kayla had made to India, as her father had always gone alone while she was growing up. Although Kayla attended a Jewish high school and had never actively identified with her Indian heritage, now that she’d met her father’s family, including many cousins, she could see how many of her traits had come from her father’s upbringing, and how they merged very nicely with the traits she’d inherited from her mother’s family and traditions. Kayla was excited to see this blend for the first time, and eager to bring what she was learning about her background to college. While she still planned to major in Jewish studies, she now planned to also join activities in East Asian clubs and possibly some East Asian elective courses. We will get to look at Kayla’s essay in a later chapter. 

One more candidate, Jasmine, was the middle of three sisters. Her older sister suffered from manic-depression, and it fell to Jasmine to tell her parents that her sister was cutting herself, despite psychiatric help. When her sister was hospitalized, her parents spent much time visiting her, leaving Jasmine in charge of her little sister, tending to house chores, doing her homework and studying for tests, all while she was extremely worried about her sister and feeling a little guilty that she had had to be the one to inform her parents. As she freewrote about these experiences, Jasmine began to realize just how much she had learned about her own need for close friends and mentors during this time, a time when she felt like hiding the family truth. This essay theme was a moving testimonial to the way peers, teachers, and bosses contribute to helping individuals maintain a life of their own when family problems threaten to overwhelm them.

Writing down what comes to mind through brainstorming and freewriting will lead you on a path to discovery of your essay theme or topic. You’ll learn more about yourself, what you want out of life, and how you’ll contribute to others. This kind of self-knowledge, supported by specific experiences, shows the admissions committee what your abilities, talents, and interests are, as well as what kind of a person you are. Your writing allows you to appear real and believable.

Part 7: What you can learn from reading sample essays

Successful essays don’t only convey feeling; they have both logic and structure.

There are many places to find sample essays, such as here , for example. You will find others in the many books published for those applying to college. There is much you can learn from reading sample essays, but remember that writing your authentic story in your authentic voice is what matters most. You want to read other essays only to see how they were structured and to understand what made them successful. Then, combined with your own ideas that you’ve been developing, you’ll be ready to craft your own.

When reading other essays, take note of what you like about them– the honesty, simplicity, sense of humor, cleverness, innovative nature, poignancy, relatability. Ask yourself how did the writer create that tone or feeling? What specific details help to set the scene? What did the writer reveal that let you understand and care about him or her? What about the essay convinces you that the writer will be an asset to the class? What can you learn about the way the essay was written and apply it in a way that is relevant to you and your story? 

Good writing has shape

Successful essays don’t only convey feeling; they have both logic and a logical structure. Most solid essays usually rely on one or more of the following elements. You only need a few, but let’s look at what these elements are so you can identify which ones will be most useful for you. Here they are: 

• Description tells us about someone, something, or some event and makes it so real that we feel we are there. There is a lot of showing and not as much telling . You show people, feelings, and things by using words that appeal to the five senses. If you want me to know your grandfather was a kind perfectionist, quote something that he said, as well as his expression and tone of voice when he said it. Show him doing a characteristic task, such as maintaining a backyard garden. Did he shrug his shoulders a lot? Smoke a pipe? Go to the horse races? Wear a favorite aftershave that was his signature scent? Play the guitar? Bring your grandfather to life for the reader by sprinkling in these lively details when you show him doing or saying something. Let the reader know what you see, hear, touch, taste, and smell if appropriate, for instance, his signature aftershave, or the freshly turned earth in the backyard garden that he maintained as a hobby.
• Narration takes the reader through an event through time. For example, if you lost something important, such as a friendship or a competition you were passionate about winning, narrate that story, emphasizing why it was important to you. Use the descriptive details mentioned above, while also conveying to the reader an insight you arrived at as a result of this loss.
• Compare and contrast allows you to highlight the stark difference between how things are versus how you would like them to be. You might compare yourself to someone you admire today, or a historical or literary character, and discuss how college will facilitate becoming the person you want to be in the world. You can also highlight a situation in your life or society that bothers you now, and contrast it with how you hope it might one day become, with you aspiring to make that difference for the good.
• How-to explanations allow you to share knowledge about how something is done or made. Offering specific steps, this element in an essay can be useful for talking about how you made a meaningful achievement, or how you’ll approach your college years in a strategic way.
• Cause and effect is a cousin to “compare and contrast,” because it shows the relationship between how you have evolved in your understanding of certain situations, events, or experiences, and how these situations and their results have shaped your life and outlook.
• Definition comes in handy when discussing a defining role you have in life and how it has influenced  you. It could be coping with a chronic condition, your experience as an immigrant, a minority, being the sibling of a special-needs individual, or having won a degree of fame because of an achievement.
• Argument and persuasion are essential elements when you are stating a case or taking on an issue that concerns you. In a persuasive essay like this, you cannot rely solely on your own personal experiences to support your belief; you’ll need real evidence, data and research from a reputable source for your argument to be persuasive and to convince others of its importance.

You probably already use these elements of thinking and communicating every day, whether in conversations with friends, classroom discussions, writing and research assignments, and test taking. Just becoming aware of these strategies will expand the number of tools in your tool box when you are deciding on your writing topic and approach. 

Now look at the sample essays you have read once more. How many of these approaches and elements can you find? Jot them down. What was it about each element that helped the writer make their experiences come alive on the page?

Part 8: How outlines help you

Keep your eye on the prize by following a planned structure

Making an outline helps you stay focused on the details of your story and its most vital elements. It also keeps you mindful of the architecture of your story: What comes first? What needs to follow? Ironically, it is harder to write a good short essay than it is to write a good long one. Every sentence counts. In fact, every word counts! Essays that are summaries of your experiences or are too general will be utterly forgettable. No matter how short or long, your essay must contain specific or colorful details, convey relatable feelings and goals, and offer specific evidence about how you will add value to the class and become a credit to the school. That’s why following an outline will help you make every word count.

While your outline doesn’t have to be formal, you should list what your opening will be about, how you will build on that opening to make your argument or describe a transformative life situation, and then move to demonstrate self-revelation and greater self-knowledge, which then leads to the conclusion. 

Still unsure how to start? Take a look at an essay you have read and liked. Read the essay closely and outline its beginning, middle, and end. This will help you easily recognize its structure, and make you more comfortable with the level of detail and specificity you should aim for in your own essay. 

Let’s look at some real essays from high school students who have given their permission to reprint their work and then look at how they were outlined. This first essay answered a college-specific question about how the applicant had used his education to good advantage:

Hello. Hola. Privet. I am proud to be able to greet you in three languages. I came to this country from Tashkent, Uzbekistan as a nine-year-old. One year later at the end of fourth grade, I was fluent in English. Now, I am on my way to fluency and proficiency in Spanish. Being multilingual in Slavic, Germanic, and Latin languages familiarizes me with diverse cultures, opening my mind and allowing me to gain insight into the world.

I continue to speak Russian with family members and friends and read Russian books; I attend Russian theatre productions, ballets, plays, and community events to retain my connection to my roots. I have taken four years of Spanish, going beyond the minimum high school requirement, and I still rush to my Spanish classes eager to gain a new piece of the Spanish language puzzle. I have learned from four different instructors and understand the diversity of the language. I regularly read Spanish books and do Spanish book reports and have made a short movie with Spanish dialogue. I visit museums to learn about the Latin culture.

In college, I plan to continue my Spanish studies and participate in a year abroad program in Spain to better comprehend the culture and become absolutely fluent in the language. Furthermore, I will study French because the culture’s extensive and dynamic history of rulers, such as Louis XIV, and engaging authors, such as Alexander Dumas, fascinates me. By learning the language, I know I will better appreciate the culture and add even further to my interpretative skills, creating a solid foundation for my career in communication and international and political affairs.

This outline suggests how this essay was organized:  

• Home country
• Immigration
• Talking with native speakers at home
• Current and future school studies
• Four instructors
• Read books in foreign language and write book reports
• Made a movie with dialogue
• Visit museums
• Plan on more courses and studies abroad
• Better fluency
• Better understanding of culture
• Better interpretive skills

Also, notice that the writer used the elements of narration, how-to, and argument and persuasion to state her case. Discussing all the courses and other efforts she has made to excel in Spanish is plenty of evidence that she is sincere and committed to her goal.

This next essay was written for the topic of your choice question from the common application. We had been introduced to this writer, Kayla, earlier in this post, and we will see how she set out to explore the ethnic backgrounds she was born into and tie it in with her goal of studying Jewish studies in college. Kayla had already chosen a particular university as her first choice based on the strength of its program in this major. Let’s see how she weaves these narrative threads together, demonstrating the cause and effect of her parents and their backgrounds with how they have shaped who she is and who she wants to be. Her dramatic opening ground the essay in a moment of conflict: 

My eighth grade best friend and I were inseparable until one morning when she told me she had a fight with her father, who banned her from seeing me. Since he’d already told her to date boys from her background, my parents thought he feared she’d fall into a mixed heritage crowd, as I am of Indian and Jewish descent.

I am proud of my world, and fortunately, my father had his first chance to bring us with him to India. Relatives rushed us from the airport to a welcome party at my grandfather’s house. Everyone gave us huge hugs and kisses as we made our way around the room. Among thirty relatives, I noticed likenesses between our families; we are fun loving, family oriented, argumentative, stubborn, open-minded, and welcoming of other cultures. Whether I was at a picnic, birthday party, or lunch, an amazing family embraced me.

Upon my return, I paid attention to attributes from my mother’s background. She loved religious school, being a Bat Mitzvah, and celebrating the Jewish holidays. While she was pregnant, my father decided to convert from Hinduism to Judaism to foster family cohesiveness. He played an active role in our Jewish community and signed up for Hebrew lessons to help me learn prayers for my Bat Mitzvah and read from the Torah at my service. After this, he wanted to become a Bar Mitzvah. I helped him learn the prayers and his Torah portion.

I then became a teacher assistant, helping out in classes and tutoring children in Hebrew. Temple was my home away from home and certainly my rock during the time of confusion and discovery following the abrupt loss of my best friend. I was confirmed in tenth grade, receiving the Rabbi’s award for being an active and dedicated participant of the temple. This past summer, I took my Jewish involvement to another level and traveled to Israel, feeling a deep connection when I arrived by ship. I had learned about ancient Jerusalem and the famous Red Sea, and seeing the land sparked me.

Now that I have traveled to India and Israel, I see my heritage shining through daily life. During any Jewish holiday, my mother makes festive food: latkes, Homatashen, and Mandel bread. My father makes Indian food for dinner sometimes, the whole family enjoying a spicy, exotic taste. I use terms from India such as “bus” (enough) and “kem cho?”(how are you?). I use Yiddish words such as “oy veh” and “shlep” without even realizing I am switching languages. My father inspires us with stories of running five miles to school barefoot from a small house with five siblings, and like my mother’s New York family, we enjoy argument and persistence. We stay up until two AM debating.

I am not jarred when people are surprised by my name, with its boy’s name in the middle and the sounds of two cultures, and when they look at me thinking I am Persian or Mexican. At the university, I will major in Jewish Studies and spend a semester or even a year abroad in Israel. I will join Hillel to meet classmates with a similar religious background to mine, and I will find an organization to deepen my knowledge of my Indian roots, keeping an open mind and an open heart while helping others do so as well.

Here’s an outline of the essay:

• Day a good friend wouldn’t talk.
• Told parents and learned possibly that family didn’t like their daughter having friend of mixed heritage background now that they were of dating age.
• parties and meals
• impressed with qualities: generosity, family orientation, fun loving.
• mother’s commitment to raising her children Jewish
• father’s decision to convert from Hinduism so the family could all belong to the Jewish community
• personal involvement in Jewish education
• helped Dad with his Bar Mitzvah a year after own Bat Mitzvah
• involved further as summer camp counselor
• more involvement as teaching assistant, with studies and the Rabbi’s award
• trip to Israel and what it meant
• Personal qualities now recognized – as seen with use of phrases from both languages, enjoyment of diverse food, traits of perseverance and love of debating.
• Studies in college will further develop knowledge of my heritage and career plans.
• Statement about being used to people’s amusement on hearing full name and why they are confused about ethnic background.
• Looking forward to meeting people of diverse backgrounds in college and, with them, delving into heritage and the beauty of religions and culture.
• Will work to help others experience diversity with open minds and enthusiasm so culture and societies thrive.

If you weren’t ready to make your outline before, we hope that with these examples you feel ready to take on the task now!

Part 9: Write your draft as if you are talking to a friend

When you think of your essay as a conversation on the page, it will make your job easier and more successful 

There–we’ve just given you one of the best-kept secrets in the world of writing advice. Hold on to it tightly and don’t forget it. The reason why this is such great advice is that so often, even though you’ve done the thinking, the brainstorming, maybe even the “clustering” and “circling” of interconnected ideas, you might still–still!–feel a bit intimidated by this process. There is a lot on the line.

But if you freeze up even a little, your writing will show it. It will be stilted, formal, and yes, cold! Instead, write the essay exactly as if you are sitting across from a friend and telling him or her that same story. Think of it as a conversation on a page. Almost immediately, you will relax, and what flows from your pen or keyboard will be more natural, honest, and with more vibrant details than if you considered the writing process as THE WRITING PROCESS, something much more formal and forbidding. Yes, the essay is very important. But sounding self-aware and natural is crucial. 

In fact, when you think of “talking” your draft instead of “writing” your draft, you will almost certainly be ahead of the game.

So now, with this trade secret in your pocket, it’s time to take out your outline and start writing . Allocate a reasonable amount for each writing session–an hour would be ideal. Put your phone away to avoid distractions! 

Even if you are really relaxed, you probably won’t produce a masterpiece with the first draft. They’re not called rough drafts for nothing! With each revision, you will sand down those rough spots, eventually earning the satisfaction of having a polished, smooth essay with a flowing, logical narrative, enlivened by memorable, meaningful, and perhaps even elegant language. Now, don’t overthink the process. Just look at your outline and start writing your opening paragraphs. 

If you need to get up after twenty minutes or a half hour to stretch or something else, go ahead, but be disciplined. Don’t check your phone during the break, and need be, park it with a roommate or someone else with instructions not to give it to you until a prearranged time. (I know; it’s hard.) Get back to writing until you have written for one hour and get as far as you can in the story. 

Don’t stay stuck in the same first few paragraphs, rewriting and rewriting them. Move on to the next section of the essay. While you are writing, don’t be surprised if entirely new ideas come to mind. You might think of a different anecdote or story from your life that you like better and that still fits the criteria for telling the story you are telling. Writing is not just a structured process but also an organic one. When you need to go with the flow, go for it.

If you still have energy to keep going after one hour, keep going. The important thing is to get one draft, or at least a good chunk of the draft, on paper. Take pride in having started, because starting is usually the hardest step of all.

Now, some people still freeze up a little at the idea of writing the introduction. This is natural–the hardest part is starting, right? If this happens to you, don’t sweat it. Skip the opening for now and start in the middle, If you feel more confident putting the “meat on the bones” before you write your introduction, go ahead. You will gain a sense of satisfaction for getting this down. You do not have to write it all in order. In the revising and editing process you will put the pieces where they belong. 

Still, keep the outline front and center each time you are working on the essay. It is your roadmap to tell your story, and you have chosen good examples to illustrate your points. Well, but what if you get stuck further into the essay? Don’t worry–we have a solution for that, too. 

Let’s look at an example of an essay where a student describes losing his tooth at a Red Sox game. That story was important to the essay, but he didn’t know how much detail to give, either about the game, or about losing his tooth. He felt stuck and couldn’t move on. In this case, just to keep the story juices flowing, he started describing other aspects of the game. Here’s what he wrote: 

I ran down the aisle several rows and put my hands up as I saw all the nearby fans doing. As the ball sailed towards the seats, I did not react fast enough and was not ready when it came at me. The ball struck me straight in the mouth and knocked out two of my teeth, lacerated my tongue, and put a hole in my lip. My friends quickly found one tooth and fans rushed me to the first-aid room where the doctor pushed that tooth back into the hole in my gums within minutes to be sure it would adhere to my bone. He checked my mouth, reported one tooth still missing and told my friends to return to our seats to find my other tooth so he could push it back in.

Don’t you feel like you’re watching this scene up close? The poor guy! Showing what happened has much more impact than just reading that his teeth were knocked out and he went to the first aid booth. Seeing his friends help out is part of the experience of resiliency. Details make the story captivating. When in doubt, include them. If you’re going over your word limit or your “beta readers” tell you it’s too much, you can go back and trim. 

A very common writing problem in early drafts is that the author writes his or her way to something important and then never shows or says what it is — i.e. if a writer claims a particular fight parents had affected the way he views education, but he doesn’t talk about the fight because he thinks it’s too personal, he is going to leave his readers curious to know what the fight was. If someone claims that the turning point in her life was losing a friend to a car accident, but doesn’t say how old they were or how she heard about the loss or the ways she has missed that friend, readers will be curious to know more about her relationship to her friend.

It’s been said that often, people don’t remember exactly what you told them, but they will always remember how you made them feel. So, while you are writing an essay with a serious intent and which must have substantial and compelling content, you want your readers to finish your essay feeling that they have a good sense of who you are as a person, what’s important to you, what has influenced you so far in your life, and something about your vision for the future.

Honoring the readers’ willingness to immerse themselves in your experience is half the battle of writing a good essay. This kind of honoring allows you to offer the tangible details of experience — what you heard, saw, smelled, tasted, and touched — because you know that others are interested. So often, especially when working against word and page limits, it is tempting to generalize and sum up to save words and often to sound more scholarly, more serious, and more important. This is always a mistake. The admissions committee readers want to know you, and they can best learn about you by seeing you in your life.

The details in your essay will collect meaning, adding to the foundation of your story. The goal is to show the decision-makers at your colleges of choice are that you any one of the following: a skilled team player, a person who can communicate well with others, that you are interested in getting to know people from diverse backgrounds, that you have imbibed important values from your family’s background, that making up your own mind is the most satisfying of experiences, or that you have made an impact on others in your community. Most of all, you want to convince them based on your thoughtful essay that you are a person who is mature enough to engage in self-reflection. When your writing is alive with fresh insights, that seems fresh — wrought from the details of the experience as a consequence of writing about them — readers feel interested and moved.

So remember, when readers are curious to know more, it usually means the writer has generalized where specifics would have told the story, or the writer has stopped before the story ends, or the writer has left out a chunk in the middle. When you have told readers too much, they will feel overwhelmed or confused, and you will need to decide which details are the right ones to take out. Another thing to remember is that taking out is usually easier than finding examples and details to put in. So, when you draft, put a lot in. You’ll have more to work with and so will your early responders.

Let your draft rest 

Done with your writing session? Great! Print it out and put it aside till your next scheduled writing session. Don’t skip the step of printing it out. Reading something on a printed page is a different experience than reading on a screen. You are almost certain to see it a bit differently, to find new things you’d like to fix or change. Also, seeing it printed out will give you a feeling of momentum. When you come back to it in a day or two, you will bring a fresh perspective to it. Don’t show it to anyone else unless you feel you need some encouragement or advice on going forward. If you’re pleased with your progress, wait to show a more polished draft to your readers. Their perspective will be important. Your writing goes into the world separate from you and it must perform its magic without you there to fill in gaps or answer questions. 

Now that you have given the draft a rest, you will see better what is missing, what can be stronger, tighter, clearer, or more convincing. You will realize there are details missing or sentences that don’t say what you meant them to. In your next writing session, you’ll start rewriting and editing where needed. 

Part 10: Get feedback from trusted readers

When you have brought the draft as far as you can, show it to a few carefully chosen, trusted audience members. Ask these readers to keep the following questions in mind as they read it and to offer you their feedback on these questions afterward: 

• What words and phrases jumped out and stayed with them?
• How did the essay make them feel? 
• What else are they curious to know about you based on the essay?
• Does the essay feel cohesive and compelling?

Remember that what people enjoy reading is subjective; not everyone will have the same response to your essay. 

Your goal is to keep your ultimate audience — the admissions committee members– interested in your essay, so pay attention to any patterns you see and hear from your beta readers. If more than one person is flagging the same problem, or conversely, telling you what they especially like, you know what you have to fix and what you should be proud of and try to do more of. You’ll know where you need to add details or context, which sentences may be confusing and need to be clarified, where to put a clear referent in for a pronoun, and where to break overly long sentences into two or more sentences. Since you know your life story, you can easily assume the reader will also know your backstory, but they don’t. Therefore, don’t skimp on including enough details to make your story clear. Even if you are still overlong on the essay, get everything down on paper that you feel is important. Cutting comes later. 

We hope that even when your trusted readers raise problems or issues with your essay that they feel need attention, that they do so in a way that is both constructive and supportive. You have worked hard on these essays, and you want your efforts to be rewarded by cheers. But try not to take any of the essay criticism personally. It surely will not be meant that way. The suggestions are only meant to help you show yourself to the admissions committee in the best possible light. And it will be important going into your adult life to be willing, even grateful, for wise advice kindly meant. 

Once you have clarified, corrected, and edited your essay according to your beta readers’ suggestions, you still have work to do. For one thing, the essay may be too long, possibly by several hundred words. Where do you cut? 

Start by checking adverbs and adjectives — have you gone overboard with them? For instance, many people write “very unique” when, if something is unique, it is one-of-a-kind. How much more one-of-a-kind can it be? Often the word unique is not needed either — not only is it a completely overused word, but let your details show rather than tell.

You also may have more details than necessary: “We came out of the ocean shivering with 30-degree water dripping off our skin. We were very cold.” Cut the second sentence; the reader will know you were cold.Many common phrases waste words. For example, the phrase “in order to” can usually be replaced by the single word “to.”

Favor verbs over nouns: “I decided on vanilla ice cream” uses fewer words than “I made the decision to have vanilla ice cream.” This change also creates the active voice rather than passive voice. The more active voice you have, the fewer words you need. 

And speaking of active voice, root out as many forms of the verb “to be” as possible. These include the words “is,” “are,” and “was.” For example, “She is a skillful teacher” could be shortened to “She teaches skillfully.” “I was the one who made the decision” could simply be “I decided.” “He was able to fix. . .” could be streamlined to “He fixed.” These “fixes” throughout your essay will perform major trimming.

Look for ways to make dependent clauses instead of using all independent clauses: The lines “My father became a dentist and he used his fine motor dexterity to make model planes with me” can be reworked to, “Using his fine motor dexterity, my dentist father made model planes with me.” The second sentence saves five words. It doesn’t seem like much, but if you do this throughout the essay, the deleted words can add up.

Do some sentences repeat what the reader already knows? Here’s an example: “When Kelly and I came around the corner, our mouths opened in surprise. We could hardly talk or even laugh. It was awesome.” Much better to stop after the first sentence and get on with the story. Your reader has many other essays to read; don’t keep him or her waiting. Finally, look for ways to simplify your narrative and edit out unnecessary explanations. For example: “I went into the kitchen and when I heard a loud noise in the living room, I quickly walked toward the kitchen door and into the hallway that leads to the living room.” This can be: “When I heard a loud noise coming from the living room, I ran to see what had happened.”

You also need to check spelling, grammar and punctuation, but don’t rely on spell-check alone. We all know the pitfalls there! A program such as Grammarly works very well for shorter documents, but it may flag many things that aren’t of concern to you, such as the program’s preference for the Oxford comma or other style preferences that are not specifically right or wrong. It’s certainly a good idea to have a skilled writer or a professional editor review your essay, not only for overall readability, strong connections, and correct grammar, syntax, spelling and punctuation, but also to flag any potential major flubs. In the process of reworking the same essay over and over again, it is easy to start missing errors that a fresh pair of eyes will catch right away. Now look at your margins, line spacing, and font. Make sure they conform to what the schools are asking for. 

You’re done… celebrate!

Woo-hoo! You did it! Great job! We hope that this has helped you in this process, and provided some valuable lessons that you will take with you into your future writing assignments. Writing can be a growth experience, and ideally, you now see yourself in sharper focus than before you began this process. 

Perhaps you’ve read this action plan before you’ve started writing your essays and still would like to benefit from professional guidance. Our consultants at Accepted.com are here to help. We have decades of experience helping applicants not only choose the schools best suited to them, but can help you map out a winning strategy for writing your personal essays as “personal bests.” You can read more about our services here: 

Now it’s time to celebrate. Dinner out, a new piece of sports equipment, getting tickets to an event, inviting special guests over, whatever it is you choose, you deserve a reward for the hard work invested. And let your parents celebrate with you — it takes many people to support the solitary writer in the writing experience; they are all happy when the writing succeeds.

May your essays get you into the schools you desire to attend. Most importantly, may putting yourself on the page help you realize your depth, spirit, and love of learning.

Keep writing! 

Explore our Admissions Services and work one-on-one with an expert advisor who will help you mine your experiences and measure your ambitions to create essays that paint the perfect picture of your long-term goals.  Learn more about how we can help you GET ACCEPTED.

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Ultimate Guide to Writing Your College Essay

Tips for writing an effective college essay.

College admissions essays are an important part of your college application and gives you the chance to show colleges and universities your character and experiences. This guide will give you tips to write an effective college essay.

Want free help with your college essay?

UPchieve connects you with knowledgeable and friendly college advisors—online, 24/7, and completely free. Get 1:1 help brainstorming topics, outlining your essay, revising a draft, or editing grammar.

Writing a strong college admissions essay

Learn about the elements of a solid admissions essay.

Avoiding common admissions essay mistakes

Learn some of the most common mistakes made on college essays

Brainstorming tips for your college essay

Stuck on what to write your college essay about? Here are some exercises to help you get started.

How formal should the tone of your college essay be?

Learn how formal your college essay should be and get tips on how to bring out your natural voice.

Taking your college essay to the next level

Hear an admissions expert discuss the appropriate level of depth necessary in your college essay.

Student Stories

Student Story: Admissions essay about a formative experience

Get the perspective of a current college student on how he approached the admissions essay.

Student Story: Admissions essay about personal identity

Get the perspective of a current college student on how she approached the admissions essay.

Student Story: Admissions essay about community impact

Student story: admissions essay about a past mistake, how to write a college application essay, tips for writing an effective application essay, sample college essay 1 with feedback, sample college essay 2 with feedback.

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How to Write a College Essay | A Complete Guide & Examples

The college essay can make or break your application. It’s your chance to provide personal context, communicate your values and qualities, and set yourself apart from other students.

A standout essay has a few key ingredients:

• A unique, personal topic
• A compelling, well-structured narrative
• A clear, creative writing style
• Evidence of self-reflection and insight

To achieve this, it’s crucial to give yourself enough time for brainstorming, writing, revision, and feedback.

In this comprehensive guide, we walk you through every step in the process of writing a college admissions essay.

Table of contents

Why do you need a standout essay, start organizing early, choose a unique topic, outline your essay, start with a memorable introduction, write like an artist, craft a strong conclusion, revise and receive feedback, frequently asked questions.

While most of your application lists your academic achievements, your college admissions essay is your opportunity to share who you are and why you’d be a good addition to the university.

Your college admissions essay accounts for about 25% of your application’s total weight一and may account for even more with some colleges making the SAT and ACT tests optional. The college admissions essay may be the deciding factor in your application, especially for competitive schools where most applicants have exceptional grades, test scores, and extracurriculars.

What do colleges look for in an essay?

Admissions officers want to understand your background, personality, and values to get a fuller picture of you beyond your test scores and grades. Here’s what colleges look for in an essay :

• Demonstrated values and qualities
• Vulnerability and authenticity
• Self-reflection and insight
• Creative, clear, and concise writing skills

Prevent plagiarism. Run a free check.

It’s a good idea to start organizing your college application timeline in the summer of your junior year to make your application process easier. This will give you ample time for essay brainstorming, writing, revision, and feedback.

While timelines will vary for each student, aim to spend at least 1–3 weeks brainstorming and writing your first draft and at least 2–4 weeks revising across multiple drafts. Remember to leave enough time for breaks in between each writing and editing stage.

Create an essay tracker sheet

If you’re applying to multiple schools, you will have to juggle writing several essays for each one. We recommend using an essay tracker spreadsheet to help you visualize and organize the following:

• Deadlines and number of essays needed
• Prompt overlap, allowing you to write one essay for similar prompts

You can build your own essay tracker using our free Google Sheets template.

College essay tracker template

Ideally, you should start brainstorming college essay topics the summer before your senior year. Keep in mind that it’s easier to write a standout essay with a unique topic.

If you want to write about a common essay topic, such as a sports injury or volunteer work overseas, think carefully about how you can make it unique and personal. You’ll need to demonstrate deep insight and write your story in an original way to differentiate it from similar essays.

What makes a good topic?

• Meaningful and personal to you
• Uncommon or has an unusual angle
• Reveals something different from the rest of your application

Brainstorming questions

You should do a comprehensive brainstorm before choosing your topic. Here are a few questions to get started:

• What are your top five values? What lived experiences demonstrate these values?
• What adjectives would your friends and family use to describe you?
• What challenges or failures have you faced and overcome? What lessons did you learn from them?
• What makes you different from your classmates?
• What are some objects that represent your identity, your community, your relationships, your passions, or your goals?
• Whom do you admire most? Why?
• What three people have significantly impacted your life? How did they influence you?

How to identify your topic

Here are two strategies for identifying a topic that demonstrates your values:

• Start with your qualities : First, identify positive qualities about yourself; then, brainstorm stories that demonstrate these qualities.
• Start with a story : Brainstorm a list of memorable life moments; then, identify a value shown in each story.

After choosing your topic, organize your ideas in an essay outline , which will help keep you focused while writing. Unlike a five-paragraph academic essay, there’s no set structure for a college admissions essay. You can take a more creative approach, using storytelling techniques to shape your essay.

Two common approaches are to structure your essay as a series of vignettes or as a single narrative.

Vignettes structure

The vignette, or montage, structure weaves together several stories united by a common theme. Each story should demonstrate one of your values or qualities and conclude with an insight or future outlook.

This structure gives the admissions officer glimpses into your personality, background, and identity, and shows how your qualities appear in different areas of your life.

Topic: Museum with a “five senses” exhibit of my experiences

• Introduction: Tour guide introduces my museum and my “Making Sense of My Heritage” exhibit
• Story: Racial discrimination with my eyes
• Lesson: Using my writing to document truth
• Story: Broadway musical interests
• Lesson: Finding my voice
• Story: Smells from family dinner table
• Lesson: Appreciating home and family
• Story: Washing dishes
• Lesson: Finding moments of peace in busy schedule
• Story: Biking with Ava
• Lesson: Finding pleasure in job well done
• Conclusion: Tour guide concludes tour, invites guest to come back for “fall College Collection,” featuring my search for identity and learning.

Single story structure

The single story, or narrative, structure uses a chronological narrative to show a student’s character development over time. Some narrative essays detail moments in a relatively brief event, while others narrate a longer journey spanning months or years.

Single story essays are effective if you have overcome a significant challenge or want to demonstrate personal development.

Topic: Sports injury helps me learn to be a better student and person

• Situation: Football injury
• Challenge: Friends distant, teachers don’t know how to help, football is gone for me
• Turning point: Starting to like learning in Ms. Brady’s history class; meeting Christina and her friends
• My reactions: Reading poetry; finding shared interest in poetry with Christina; spending more time studying and with people different from me
• Insight: They taught me compassion and opened my eyes to a different lifestyle; even though I still can’t play football, I’m starting a new game

Brainstorm creative insights or story arcs

Regardless of your essay’s structure, try to craft a surprising story arc or original insights, especially if you’re writing about a common topic.

Never exaggerate or fabricate facts about yourself to seem interesting. However, try finding connections in your life that deviate from cliché storylines and lessons.

Admissions officers read thousands of essays each year, and they typically spend only a few minutes reading each one. To get your message across, your introduction , or hook, needs to grab the reader’s attention and compel them to read more..

Avoid starting your introduction with a famous quote, cliché, or reference to the essay itself (“While I sat down to write this essay…”).

While you can sometimes use dialogue or a meaningful quotation from a close family member or friend, make sure it encapsulates your essay’s overall theme.

Find an original, creative way of starting your essay using the following two methods.

Option 1: Start with an intriguing hook

Begin your essay with an unexpected statement to pique the reader’s curiosity and compel them to carefully read your essay. A mysterious introduction disarms the reader’s expectations and introduces questions that can only be answered by reading more.

Option 2: Start with vivid imagery

Illustrate a clear, detailed image to immediately transport your reader into your memory. You can start in the middle of an important scene or describe an object that conveys your essay’s theme.

A college application essay allows you to be creative in your style and tone. As you draft your essay, try to use interesting language to enliven your story and stand out .

Show, don’t tell

“Tell” in writing means to simply state a fact: “I am a basketball player.” “ Show ” in writing means to use details, examples, and vivid imagery to help the reader easily visualize your memory: “My heart races as I set up to shoot一two seconds, one second一and score a three-pointer!”

First, reflect on every detail of a specific image or scene to recall the most memorable aspects.

• What are the most prominent images?
• Are there any particular sounds, smells, or tastes associated with this memory?
• What emotion or physical feeling did you have at that time?

Be vulnerable to create an emotional response

You don’t have to share a huge secret or traumatic story, but you should dig deep to express your honest feelings, thoughts, and experiences to evoke an emotional response. Showing vulnerability demonstrates humility and maturity. However, don’t exaggerate to gain sympathy.

Use appropriate style and tone

Make sure your essay has the right style and tone by following these guidelines:

• Use a conversational yet respectful tone: less formal than academic writing, but more formal than texting your friends.
• Prioritize using “I” statements to highlight your perspective.
• Write within your vocabulary range to maintain an authentic voice.
• Write concisely, and use the active voice to keep a fast pace.
• Follow grammar rules (unless you have valid stylistic reasons for breaking them).

You should end your college essay with a deep insight or creative ending to leave the reader with a strong final impression. Your college admissions essay should avoid the following:

• Summarizing what you already wrote
• Stating your hope of being accepted to the school
• Mentioning character traits that should have been illustrated in the essay, such as “I’m a hard worker”

Here are two strategies to craft a strong conclusion.

Option 1: Full circle, sandwich structure

The full circle, or sandwich, structure concludes the essay with an image, idea, or story mentioned in the introduction. This strategy gives the reader a strong sense of closure.

In the example below, the essay concludes by returning to the “museum” metaphor that the writer opened with.

Option 2: Revealing your insight

You can use the conclusion to show the insight you gained as a result of the experiences you’ve described. Revealing your main message at the end creates suspense and keeps the takeaway at the forefront of your reader’s mind.

Revise your essay before submitting it to check its content, style, and grammar. Get feedback from no more than two or three people.

It’s normal to go through several rounds of revision, but take breaks between each editing stage.

Also check out our college essay examples to see what does and doesn’t work in an essay and the kinds of changes you can make to improve yours.

Respect the word count

Most schools specify a word count for each essay , and you should stay within 10% of the upper limit.

Remain under the specified word count limit to show you can write concisely and follow directions. However, don’t write too little, which may imply that you are unwilling or unable to write a thoughtful and developed essay.

Check your content, style, and grammar

• First, check big-picture issues of message, flow, and clarity.
• Then, check for style and tone issues.
• Finally, focus on eliminating grammar and punctuation errors.

Get feedback

Get feedback from 2–3 people who know you well, have good writing skills, and are familiar with college essays.

• Teachers and guidance counselors can help you check your content, language, and tone.
• Friends and family can check for authenticity.
• An essay coach or editor has specialized knowledge of college admissions essays and can give objective expert feedback.

The checklist below helps you make sure your essay ticks all the boxes.

College admissions essay checklist

I’ve organized my essay prompts and created an essay writing schedule.

I’ve done a comprehensive brainstorm for essay topics.

I’ve selected a topic that’s meaningful to me and reveals something different from the rest of my application.

I’ve created an outline to guide my structure.

I’ve crafted an introduction containing vivid imagery or an intriguing hook that grabs the reader’s attention.

I’ve written my essay in a way that shows instead of telling.

I’ve shown positive traits and values in my essay.

I’ve demonstrated self-reflection and insight in my essay.

I’ve used appropriate style and tone .

I’ve concluded with an insight or a creative ending.

I’ve revised my essay , checking my overall message, flow, clarity, and grammar.

I’ve respected the word count , remaining within 10% of the upper word limit.

Congratulations!

It looks like your essay ticks all the boxes. A second pair of eyes can help you take it to the next level – Scribbr's essay coaches can help.

Colleges want to be able to differentiate students who seem similar on paper. In the college application essay , they’re looking for a way to understand each applicant’s unique personality and experiences.

Your college essay accounts for about 25% of your application’s weight. It may be the deciding factor in whether you’re accepted, especially for competitive schools where most applicants have exceptional grades, test scores, and extracurricular track records.

A standout college essay has several key ingredients:

• A unique, personally meaningful topic
• A memorable introduction with vivid imagery or an intriguing hook
• Specific stories and language that show instead of telling
• Vulnerability that’s authentic but not aimed at soliciting sympathy
• Clear writing in an appropriate style and tone
• A conclusion that offers deep insight or a creative ending

While timelines will differ depending on the student, plan on spending at least 1–3 weeks brainstorming and writing the first draft of your college admissions essay , and at least 2–4 weeks revising across multiple drafts. Don’t forget to save enough time for breaks between each writing and editing stage.

You should already begin thinking about your essay the summer before your senior year so that you have plenty of time to try out different topics and get feedback on what works.

Most college application portals specify a word count range for your essay, and you should stay within 10% of the upper limit to write a developed and thoughtful essay.

You should aim to stay under the specified word count limit to show you can follow directions and write concisely. However, don’t write too little, as it may seem like you are unwilling or unable to write a detailed and insightful narrative about yourself.

If no word count is specified, we advise keeping your essay between 400 and 600 words.

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21 Stellar Common App Essay Examples to Inspire Your College Essay

What’s covered:, what makes a good common app essay, is your common app essay strong enough.

When you begin writing your Common App essay, having an example to look at can help you understand how to effectively write your college essay so that it stands apart from others. 

These Common App essay examples demonstrate a strong writing ability and answer the prompt in a way that shows admissions officers something unique about the student. Once you’ve read some examples and are ready to get started, read our step-by-step guide for how to write a strong Common App essay.  

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Read our Common App essay breakdown to get a comprehensive overview of this year’s supplemental prompts.

It’s Personal

The point of the Common App essay is to humanize yourself to a college admissions committee. The ultimate goal is to get them to choose you over someone else! You will have a better chance of achieving this goal if the admissions committee feels personally connected to you or invested in your story. When writing your Common App essay, you should explore your feelings, worldview, values, desires, and anything else that makes you uniquely you.

It’s Not Cliché

It is pretty easy to resort to clichés in college essays. This should be actively avoided! CollegeVine has identified the immigrant’s journey, sports injuries, and overcoming a challenging course as cliché topics . If you write about one of these topics, you have to work harder to stand out, so working with a more nuanced topic is often safer and easier.

It’s Well-Done

Colleges want good writers. They want students who can articulate their thoughts clearly and concisely (and creatively!). You should be writing and rewriting your essays, perfecting them as you go. Of course, make sure that your grammar and spelling are impeccable, but also put in time crafting your tone and finding your voice. This will also make your essay more personal and will make your reader feel more connected to you!

It’s Cohesive

Compelling Common App essays tell a cohesive story. Cohesion is primarily achieved through effective introductions and conclusions , which often contribute to the establishment of a clear theme or topic. Make sure that it is clear what you are getting at, but also don’t explicitly state what you are getting at—a successful essay speaks for itself.

Common App Essay Examples

Here are the current Common App prompts. Click the links to jump to the examples for a specific prompt, or keep reading to review the examples for all the prompts.

Prompt #1 :  Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

Prompt #2 :  The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?

Prompt #3 :  Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?

Prompt #4 : Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. How has this gratitude affected or motivated you? (NOTE: We only have an example for the old prompt #4 about solving a problem, not this current one)

Prompt #5 :  Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.

Prompt #6 :  Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?

Prompt #7 :  Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you’ve already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.

Note: Names have been changed to protect the identity of the author and subjects.

Prompt #1: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

Prompt #1, example #1.

The room was silent except for the thoughts racing through my head. I led a spade from my hand and my opponent paused for a second, then played a heart. The numbers ran through my mind as I tried to consider every combination, calculating my next move. Finally, I played the ace of spades from the dummy and the rest of my clubs, securing the contract and 620 points when my partner ruffed at trick five. Next board.

It was the final of the 2015 United States Bridge Federation Under-26 Women’s Championship. The winning team would be selected to represent the United States in the world championship and my team was still in the running.

Contract bridge is a strategic and stochastic card game. Players from around the world gather at local clubs, regional events, and, in this case, national tournaments.

Going into the tournament, my team was excited; all the hours we had put into the game, from the lengthy midnight Skype sessions spent discussing boards to the coffee shop meetings spent memorizing conventions together, were about to pay off.

Halfway through, our spirits were still high, as we were only down by fourteen international match points which, out of the final total of about four hundred points, was virtually nothing and it was very feasible to catch up. Our excitement was short-lived, however, as sixty boards later, we found that we had lost the match and would not be chosen as the national team.

Initially, we were devastated. We had come so close and it seemed as if all the hours we had devoted to training had been utterly wasted. Yet as our team spent some time together reflecting upon the results, we gradually realized that the true value that we had gained wasn’t only the prospect of winning the national title, but also the time we had spent together exploring our shared passion. I chatted with the winning team and even befriended a few of them who offered us encouragement and advice.

Throughout my bridge career, although I’ve gained a respectable amount of masterpoints and awards, I’ve realized that the real reward comes from the extraordinary people I have met. I don’t need to travel cross-country to learn; every time I sit down at a table whether it be during a simple club game, a regional tournament or a national event, I find I’m always learning. 

I nod at the pair that’s always yelling at each other. They teach me the importance of sportsmanship and forgiveness.

I greet the legally blind man who can defeat most of the seeing players. He reminds me not to make excuses.

I chat with the friendly, elderly couple who, at ages ninety and ninety-two, have just gotten married two weeks ago. They teach me that it’s never too late to start anything.

I talk to the boy who’s attending Harvard and the girl who forewent college to start her own company. They show me that there is more than one path to success.

I congratulate the little kid running to his dad, excited to have won his very first masterpoints. He reminds me of the thrill of every first time and to never stop trying new things.

Just as much as I have benefitted from these life lessons, I aspire to give back to my bridge community as much as it has given me. I aspire to teach people how to play this complicated yet equally as exciting game. I aspire to never stop improving myself, both at and away from the bridge table.

Bridge has given me my roots and dared me to dream. What started as merely a hobby has become a community, a passion, a part of my identity. I aspire to live selflessly and help others reach their goals. I seek to take risks, embrace all results, even failure, and live unfettered from my own doubt.

This student draws readers in with a strong introduction. The essay starts ambiguous—“I led with a spade”—then intrigues readers by gradually revealing more information and details. This makes the reader want to keep reading (which is super important!) As the writer continues, there is a rather abrupt tone shift from suspenseful to explanatory with statements like “It was the final of the 2015 United States Bridge Federation Under-26 Women’s Championship” and “Contract bridge is a strategic and stochastic card game.” If you plan to start with an imagery-heavy, emotional, suspenseful, or dramatic introduction, you will need to transition to the content of your essay in a way that does not feel abrupt. 

You will often hear that essays need to “show, not tell.” This essay actually does both. First, the student tells readers the importance of bridge, saying “we gradually realized that the true value that we had gained wasn’t only the prospect of winning the national title, but also the time we had spent together exploring our shared passion” and “I’ve realized that the real reward comes from the extraordinary people I have met.” Then, the student shows the lessons they have learned from bridge through a series of parallel sentences: “I nod… sportsmanship and forgiveness” “I greet… not to make excuses” “I chat… it’s never too late to start anything” and so on. This latter strategy is much more effective than the former and is watered down because the student has already told us what we are supposed to get out of these sentences. Remember that your readers are intelligent and can draw their own conclusions. Avoid summarizing the moral of your story for them!

Overall, this essay is interesting and answers the prompt. We learn the importance of bridge to this student. The student has a solid grasp of language, a high-level vocabulary, and a valuable message, though they would be better off if they avoided summarizing their point and created more seamless transitions. 

Prompt #1, Example #2

Growing up, I always wanted to eat, play, visit, watch, and be it all: sloppy joes and spaetzle, Beanie Babies and Steiff, Cape Cod and the Baltic Sea, football and fussball, American and German.

My American parents relocated our young family to Berlin when I was three years old. My exposure to America was limited to holidays spent stateside and awfully dubbed Disney Channel broadcasts. As the few memories I had of living in the US faded, my affinity for Germany grew. I began to identify as “Germerican,” an ideal marriage of the two cultures. As a child, I viewed my biculturalism as a blessing. I possessed a native fluency in “Denglisch” and my family’s Halloween parties were legendary at a time when the holiday was just starting to gain popularity outside of the American Sector.

Insidiously, the magic I once felt in loving two homes was replaced by a deep-­rooted sense of rootlessness. I stopped feeling American when, while discussing World War II with my grandmother, I said “the US won.” She corrected me, insisting I use “we” when referring to the US’s actions. Before then, I hadn’t realized how directly people associated themselves with their countries. I stopped feeling German during the World Cup when my friends labeled me a “bandwagon fan” for rooting for Germany. Until that moment, my cheers had felt sincere. I wasn’t part of the “we” who won World Wars or World Cups. Caught in a twilight of foreign and familiar, I felt emotionally and psychologically disconnected from the two cultures most familiar to me.

After moving from Berlin to New York at age fifteen, my feelings of cultural homelessness thrived in my new environment. Looking and sounding American furthered my feelings of dislocation. Border patrol agents, teachers, classmates, neighbors, and relatives all “welcomed me home” to a land they could not understand was foreign to me. Americans confused me as I relied on Urban Dictionary to understand my peers, the Pledge of Allegiance seemed nationalistic, and the only thing familiar about Fahrenheit was the German after whom it was named. Too German for America and too American for Germany, I felt alienated from both. I wanted desperately to be a member of one, if not both, cultures.

During my first weeks in Scarsdale, I spent my free time googling “Berlin Family Seeks Teen” and “New Americans in Scarsdale.” The latter search proved most fruitful: I discovered Horizons, a nonprofit that empowers resettled refugees, or “New Americans,” to thrive. I started volunteering with Horizon’s children’s programs, playing with and tutoring young refugees.

It was there that I met Emily, a twelve­-year-­old Iraqi girl who lived next to Horizons. In between games and snacks, Emily would ask me questions about American life, touching on everything from Halloween to President Obama. Gradually, my confidence in my American identity grew as I recognized my ability to answer most of her questions. American culture was no longer completely foreign to me. I found myself especially qualified to work with young refugees; my experience growing up in a country other than that of my parents’ was similar enough to that of the refugee children Horizons served that I could empathize with them and offer advice. Together, we worked through conflicting allegiances, homesickness, and stretched belonging.

Forging a special, personal bond with young refugees proved a cathartic outlet for my insecurities as it taught me to value my past. My transculturalism allowed me to help young refugees integrate into American life, and, in doing so, I was able to adjust myself. Now, I have an appreciation of myself that I never felt before. “Home” isn’t the digits in a passport or ZIP code but a sense of contentedness. By helping a young refugee find comfort, happiness, and home in America, I was finally able to find those same things for myself.

Due to their endearing (and creative) use of language—with early phrases like “sloppy joes and spaetzle” as well as  “Germerican” and “Denglisch”—readers are inclined to like this writer from the get-go. Though the essay shifts from this lighthearted introduction to more serious subject matter around the third paragraph, the shift is not abrupt or jarring. This is because the student invites readers to feel the transition with them through their inclusion of various anecdotes that inspired their “feelings of cultural homelessness.” And our journey does not end there—we go back to America with the student and see how their former struggles become strengths.

Ultimately, this essay is successful due to its satisfying ending. Because readers experience the student’s struggles with them, we also feel the resolution. The conclusion of this essay is a prime example of the “Same, but Different” technique described in our article on How to End Your College Essay . As the student describes how, in the end, their complicated cultural identity still exists but transitions to a source of strength, readers are left feeling happy for the student. This means that they have formed a connection with the student, which is the ultimate goal!

Prompt #1, Example #3

“1…2…3…4 pirouettes ! New record!” My friends cheered as I landed my turns. Pleased with my progress, I gazed down at my worn-out pointe shoes. The sweltering blisters, numbing ice-baths, and draining late-night practices did not seem so bad after all. Next goal: five turns.

For as long as I can remember, ballet, in all its finesse and glamor, had kept me driven day to day. As a child, the lithe ballerinas, donning ethereal costumes as they floated across the stage, were my motivation. While others admired Messi and Adele, I idolized Carlos Acosta, principal dancer of the Royal Ballet. 

As I devoted more time and energy towards my craft, I became obsessed with improving my technique. I would stretch for hours after class, forcing my leg one inch higher in an effort to mirror the Dance Magazine cover girls . I injured my feet and ruined pair after pair of pointe shoes, turning on wood, cement, and even grass to improve my balance as I spun. At competitions, the dancers with the 180-degree leg extensions, endless turns, and soaring leaps—the ones who received “Bravos!” from the roaring audience—further pushed me to refine my skills and perfect my form. I believed that, with enough determination, I would one day attain their level of perfection. Reaching the quadruple- pirouette milestone only intensified my desire to accomplish even more. 

My efforts seemed to have come to fruition two summers ago when I was accepted to dance with Moscow’s Bolshoi Ballet at their renowned New York City summer intensive. I walked into my first session eager to learn from distinguished ballet masters and worldly dancers, already anticipating my improvement. Yet, as I danced alongside the accomplished ballerinas, I felt out of place. Despite their clean technique and professional training, they did not aim for glorious leg extensions or prodigious leaps. When they performed their turn combinations, most of them only executed two turns as I attempted four. 

“Dancers, double- pirouettes only.” 

Taken aback and confused, I wondered why our teacher expected so little from us. The other ballerinas seemed content, gracing the studio with their simple movements. 

As I grew closer with my Moscow roommates, I gradually learned that their training emphasized the history of the art form instead of stylistic tricks. Rather than show off their physical ability, their performances aimed to convey a story, one that embodied the rich culture of ballet and captured both the legacy of the dancers before them and their own artistry. As I observed my friends more intently in repertoire class, I felt the pain of the grief-stricken white swan from Swan Lake , the sass of the flirtatious Kitri from Don Quijote, and I gradually saw what I had overlooked before. My definition of talent had been molded by crowd-pleasing elements—whirring pirouettes , gravity-defying leaps, and mind-blowing leg extensions. This mindset slowly stripped me from the roots of my passion and my personal connection with ballet. 

With the Bolshoi, I learned to step back and explore the meaning behind each step and the people behind the scenes. Ballet carries history in its movements, from the societal values of the era to each choreographer’s unique flair. As I uncovered the messages behind each pirouette, kick, and jump, my appreciation for ballet grew beyond my obsession with raw athleticism and developed into a love for the art form’s emotive abilities in bridging the dancers with the audience. My journey as an artist has allowed me to see how technical execution is only the means to a greater understanding between dancer and spectator, between storyteller and listener. The elegance and complexity of ballet does not revolve around astonishing stunts but rather the evocative strength and artistry manifested in the dancer, in me. It is the combination of sentiments, history, tradition, and passion that has allowed ballet and its lessons of human connection to become my lifestyle both on and off stage.

The primary strength of this essay is the honesty and authenticity of the student’s writing. It is purposefully reflective. Intentional language creates a clear character arc that begins with an eager young ballerina and ends with the student reflecting on their past. 

Readers are easily able to picture the passion and intensity of the young dancer through the writer’s engagement with words like “obsessed,” “forcing,” and “ruined” in the second paragraph. Then, we see how intensity becomes pride as they “wondered why our teacher expected so little from us.” And ultimately, we see the writer humbled as they are exposed to the deeper meaning behind what they have worked so hard for. This arc is outstanding, and the student’s musings about ballet in the concl usion position them as vulnerable and reflective (and thus, appealing to admissions officers!)

The main weakness of this essay (though this is a stellar essay) is its formulaic beginning. While dialogue can be an effective tool for starting your essay, this student’s introduction feels a bit stilted as the dialogue does not match the overall reflective tone of the essay. Perhaps, in place of “Next goal: five turns,” the student could have posed a question or foreshadowed the growth they ultimately describe.

Prompt #1, Example #4

My paintbrush dragged a flurry of acrylic, the rich colors attaching to each groove in my canvas’s texture. The feeling was euphoric.

From a young age, painting has been my solace. Between the stress of my packed high school days filled with classes and extracurriculars, the glide of my paintbrush was my emotional outlet.

I opened a fresh canvas and began. The amalgamation of assorted colors in my palette melded harmoniously: dark and light, cool and warm, brilliant and dull. They conjoined, forming shades and surfaces sharp, smooth, and ridged. The textures of my paint strokes — powdery, glossy, jagged — gave my painting a tone, as if it had a voice of its own, sometimes shrieking, sometimes whispering.

Rough indigo blue. The repetitive upward pulls of my brush formed layers on my canvas. Staring into the deep blue, I felt transported to the bottom of the pool I swim in daily. I looked upward to see a layer of dense water between myself and the person I aspire to be, an ideal blurred by filmy ripples. Rough blue encapsulates my amorphous, conflicting identity, catalyzed by words spewed by my peers about my “oily hair” and “smelly food”. They caused my ever present disdain toward cultural assemblies; the lehenga I wore felt burdensome. My identity quivers like the indigo storm I painted — a duel between my self-deprecating, validation-seeking self, and the proud self I desire to be. My haphazard paint strokes released my internal turbulence.

Smooth orange-hued green. I laid the color in melodious strokes, forming my figure. The warmer green transitions from the rough blue — while they share elements, they also diverge. My firm brushstrokes felt like the way I felt on my first day as a media intern at KBOO, my local volunteer-driven radio station, committed to the voices of the marginalized. As a naturally introverted speaker, I was forced out of my comfort zone when tasked with documenting a KBOO art exhibition for social media, speaking with hosts to share their diverse, underrepresented backgrounds and inspirations. A rhythmic green strength soon shoved me past internal blue turbulence. My communication skills which were built by two years of Speech and Debate unleashed — I recognized that making a social change through media required amplifying unique voices and perspectives, both my own and others. The powerful green strokes that fill my canvas entrench my growth.

Bright, voluminous coral, hinted with magenta and yellow. I dabbed the color over my figure, giving my painting dimension. The paint, speckled, added depth on every inch it coated. As I moved the color in random but purposeful movements, the vitality ushered into my painting brought a smile across my face. It reminded me of the encounters I had with my cubicle-mate in my sophomore year academic autism research internship, seemingly insignificant moments in my lifelong journey that, in retrospect, wove unique threads into my tapestry. The kindness she brought into work inspired my compassion, while her stories of struggling with ADHD in the workplace bolstered my empathy towards different experiences. Our conversations added blobs of a nonuniform bright color in my painting, binding a new perspective in me.

I added in my final strokes, each contributing an element to my piece. As I scanned my canvas, I observed these elements. Detail added nuance into smaller pictures; they embodied complexities within color, texture, and hue, each individually delivering a narrative. But together, they formed a piece of art— art that could be interpreted as a whole or broken apart but still delivering as a means of communication.

I find beauty in media because of this. I can adapt a complex narrative to be deliverable, each component telling a story. Appreciating these nuances — the light, dark, smooth, and rough — has cultivated my growth mindset. My life-long painting never finishes. It is ever-expanding, absorbing the novel textures and colors I encounter daily.

This essay is distinct from others due to its melodic, lyrical form. This is primarily achieved because the student’s form follows the movements of the paintbrush that they use to scaffold their essay. As readers, we simply flow through the essay, occasionally picking up bits of information about its creator. Without even realizing it, by the end of the essay, admissions officers will know that this student is a swimmer, was in Speech and Debate, is Indian, and has had multiple internships.

A major strength of this essay is the command of language that the student demonstrates. This essay was not simply written, it was crafted. Universities are, of course, interested in the talents, goals, and interests of applicants, but an essay being well-written can be equally important. Writing skills are important because your reader will not learn about your talents, goals, and interests if they aren’t engaged in your essay, but they are also important because admissions officers know that being able to articulate your thoughts is important for success in all future careers.

While this essay is well-written, there are a few moments where it falls out of the flow and feels more like a student advertising their successes. For example, the phrases “media intern at KBOO” and “autism research internship” work better on a resume than they do in this essay. Admissions officers have a copy of your resume and can check your internship experiences after reading your essay! If you are going to use a unique writing style or narrative form, lean into it; don’t try to hybridize it with the standard college essay form. Your boldness will be attractive to admissions officers.

Readers are easily able to picture the passion and intensity of the young dancer through the writer’s engagement with words like “obsessed,” “forcing,” and “ruined” in the second paragraph. Then, we see how intensity becomes pride as they “wondered why our teacher expected so little from us.” And ultimately, we see the writer humbled as they are exposed to the deeper meaning behind what they have worked so hard for. This arc is outstanding, and the student’s musings about ballet in the conclusion position them as vulnerable and reflective (and thus, appealing to admissions officers!)

Prompt #2: The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?

Prompt #2, example #1.

“You ruined my life!” After months of quiet anger, my brother finally confronted me. To my shame, I had been appallingly ignorant of his pain.

Despite being twins, Max and I are profoundly different. Having intellectual interests from a young age that, well, interested very few of my peers, I often felt out of step in comparison with my highly-social brother. Everything appeared to come effortlessly for Max and, while we share an extremely tight bond, his frequent time away with friends left me feeling more and more alone as we grew older.

When my parents learned about The Green Academy, we hoped it would be an opportunity for me to find not only an academically challenging environment, but also – perhaps more importantly – a community. This meant transferring the family from Drumfield to Kingston. And while there was concern about Max, we all believed that given his sociable nature, moving would be far less impactful on him than staying put might be on me.

As it turned out, Green Academy was everything I’d hoped for. I was ecstatic to discover a group of students with whom I shared interests and could truly engage. Preoccupied with new friends and a rigorous course load, I failed to notice that the tables had turned. Max, lost in the fray and grappling with how to make connections in his enormous new high school, had become withdrawn and lonely. It took me until Christmas time – and a massive argument – to recognize how difficult the transition had been for my brother, let alone that he blamed me for it.

Through my own journey of searching for academic peers, in addition to coming out as gay when I was 12, I had developed deep empathy for those who had trouble fitting in. It was a pain I knew well and could easily relate to. Yet after Max’s outburst, my first response was to protest that our parents – not I – had chosen to move us here. In my heart, though, I knew that regardless of who had made the decision, we ended up in Kingston for my benefit. I was ashamed that, while I saw myself as genuinely compassionate, I had been oblivious to the heartache of the person closest to me. I could no longer ignore it – and I didn’t want to.

We stayed up half the night talking, and the conversation took an unexpected turn. Max opened up and shared that it wasn’t just about the move. He told me how challenging school had always been for him, due to his dyslexia, and that the ever-present comparison to me had only deepened his pain.

We had been in parallel battles the whole time and, yet, I only saw that Max was in distress once he experienced problems with which I directly identified. I’d long thought Max had it so easy – all because he had friends. The truth was, he didn’t need to experience my personal brand of sorrow in order for me to relate – he had felt plenty of his own.

My failure to recognize Max’s suffering brought home for me the profound universality and diversity of personal struggle; everyone has insecurities, everyone has woes, and everyone – most certainly – has pain. I am acutely grateful for the conversations he and I shared around all of this, because I believe our relationship has been fundamentally strengthened by a deeper understanding of one another. Further, this experience has reinforced the value of constantly striving for deeper sensitivity to the hidden struggles of those around me. I won’t make the mistake again of assuming that the surface of someone’s life reflects their underlying story.

Here is a prime example that you don’t have to have fabulous imagery or flowery prose to write a successful Common App essay. You just have to be clear and say something that matters. This essay is simple and beautiful. It almost feels like having a conversation with a friend and learning that they are an even better person than you already thought they were.

Through this narrative, readers learn a lot about the writer—where they’re from, what their family life is like, what their challenges were as a kid, and even their sexuality. We also learn a lot about their values—notably, the value they place on awareness, improvement, and consideration of others. Though they never explicitly state it (which is great because it is still crystal clear!), this student’s ending of “I won’t make the mistake again of assuming that the surface of someone’s life reflects their underlying story” shows that they are constantly striving for improvement and finding lessons anywhere they can get them in life.

The only part of this essay that could use a bit of work is the introduction. A short introduction can be effective, but this short first paragraph feels thrown in at the last minute and like it is missing its second half. If you are keeping your introduction short, make it matter.

Prompt #2, Example #2

Was I no longer the beloved daughter of nature, whisperer of trees? Knee-high rubber boots, camouflage, bug spray—I wore the garb and perfume of a proud wild woman, yet there I was, hunched over the pathetic pile of stubborn sticks, utterly stumped, on the verge of tears. As a child, I had considered myself a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free. I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms. Yet here I was, ten years later, incapable of performing the most fundamental outdoor task: I could not, for the life of me, start a fire. 

Furiously I rubbed the twigs together—rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers. No smoke. The twigs were too young, too sticky-green; I tossed them away with a shower of curses, and began tearing through the underbrush in search of a more flammable collection. My efforts were fruitless. Livid, I bit a rejected twig, determined to prove that the forest had spurned me, offering only young, wet bones that would never burn. But the wood cracked like carrots between my teeth—old, brittle, and bitter. Roaring and nursing my aching palms, I retreated to the tent, where I sulked and awaited the jeers of my family. 

Rattling their empty worm cans and reeking of fat fish, my brother and cousins swaggered into the campsite. Immediately, they noticed the minor stick massacre by the fire pit and called to me, their deep voices already sharp with contempt. 

“Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” they taunted. “Having some trouble?” They prodded me with the ends of the chewed branches and, with a few effortless scrapes of wood on rock, sparked a red and roaring flame. My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame. 

In the tent, I pondered my failure. Was I so dainty? Was I that incapable? I thought of my hands, how calloused and capable they had been, how tender and smooth they had become. It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive. And I’d gotten glasses, having grown horrifically nearsighted; long nights of dim lighting and thick books had done this. I couldn’t remember the last time I had lain down on a hill, barefaced, and seen the stars without having to squint. Crawling along the edge of the tent, a spider confirmed my transformation—he disgusted me, and I felt an overwhelming urge to squash him. 

Yet, I realized I hadn’t really changed—I had only shifted perspective. I still eagerly explored new worlds, but through poems and prose rather than pastures and puddles. I’d grown to prefer the boom of a bass over that of a bullfrog, learned to coax a different kind of fire from wood, having developed a burn for writing rhymes and scrawling hypotheses. 

That night, I stayed up late with my journal and wrote about the spider I had decided not to kill. I had tolerated him just barely, only shrieking when he jumped—it helped to watch him decorate the corners of the tent with his delicate webs, knowing that he couldn’t start fires, either. When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.

This Common App essay is well-written. The student is showing the admissions officers their ability to articulate their points beautifully and creatively. It starts with vivid images like that of the “rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free.” And because the prose is flowery, the writer can get away with metaphors like “I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms” that might sound cheesy without the clear command of the English language that the writer quickly establishes.

In addition to being well-written, this essay is thematically cohesive. It begins with the simple introduction “Fire!” and ends with the following image: “When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.” This full-circle approach leaves readers satisfied and impressed.

While dialogue often comes off as cliche or trite, this student effectively incorporates their family members saying “Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” This is achieved through the apt use of the verb “taunted” to characterize the questioning and through the question’s thematic connection to the earlier image of the student as a rustic princess. Similarly, rhetorical questions can feel randomly placed in essays, but this student’s inclusion of the questions “Was I so dainty?” and “Was I that incapable?” feels perfectly justified after they establish that they were pondering their failure.

Quite simply, this essay shows how quality writing can make a simple story outstandingly compelling.

Prompt #2, Example #3

The muffled voices behind thin walls heralded trouble.

They were fighting about money.

It wasn’t the first time this had happened and it wasn’t going to be the last. It was one of those countless nights I had to spend curled up under the blanket while pretending to be asleep. My father had been unemployed for five years now, and my mother, a local kindergarten teacher, was struggling to support the family alone. Our situation was bleak: Savings had run out and my parents could no longer hide our lack of money from me. To make matters worse, I was a few weeks away from starting high school, which would inevitably lead to college, yet another financial stressor for my family.

The argument didn’t sound like it would end soon.

“Why did you spend money on that?” my mother said, with an elongated sigh.

“I had to,” my father said, decidedly.

Every fight over the years had left me in despair and the idea of going through another fight daunted me. I had looked forward to my teen years all my life, an age that allows, for the first time, more responsibility. Indeed, after this fateful night, after my fourteenth birthday, I felt a mounting responsibility to help my family, and started brainstorming.

Always being fascinated by computers, I spent my childhood burying myself under computer cabinets, experimenting with computer parts. Naturally, I wondered if my skills in this area might be marketable.

The next morning, my friend, Naba, mentioned that her computer wasn’t working. A tuk-tuk ride later, and I was at her doorstep, and her mother was leading me to her room. I was off to work: I began examining her computer, like a surgeon carefully manages his scalpels and tools. A proper diagnosis was not far from reach, as I realized a broken pin in her computer’s SATA slot. After an hour of work, and a short trip to the hardware store, I successfully fixed the computer. To my pleasant surprise, Naba’s mother drew out two fresh 500 Rupee notes. One covered the cost of the parts I bought and the other was a token of appreciation. Bidding her goodbye, I went straight back home and put one of the 500 Rupee notes inside my family’s “savings-jar.”

Later that day, I devised a plan. I told my friends to spread the word that I was available to fix computers. At first, I got only one or two calls per week. I would pick up the computer from my client’s home, fix it quickly, and return it, thus earning myself a commission. While I couldn’t market my services at a competitive price, because I wasn’t able to buy the parts wholesale, I compensated by providing convenience. All my clients had to do was call me once and the rest was taken care of. Thus, my business had the best customer service in town.

At the beginning of my junior year, after two years of expanding my business through various avenues, I started buying computer parts from hardware suppliers in bulk at a cheaper rate. My business grew exponentially after that. 

Before long, I was my town’s go-to tech person. In this journey throughout high school, I started realizing that I had to create my own opportunities and not just curl up under a blanket, seeking only comfort, as I used to. Interacting with people from all walks of life became my forte and a sense of work ethic developed in me. My business required me to be an all-rounder– have the technical skills, be an easily approachable person, and manage cash flow. Slowly becoming better at this, I even managed to sway admins of a local institution to outsource their computer hardware purchases and repairs through me. As my business upsized throughout the years, I went from being helpless to autonomous – the teenager I always aspired to be.

This essay truly feels like a story—almost making you forget you are reading a college essay. The student’s voice is strong throughout the entire essay and they are able to give us insight into their thoughts, feelings, and motivations at every step of the story. Letting the reader into personal challenges like financial struggles can be daunting in a college essay, but the way this student used that setback to establish an emotional ethos to their narrative was well done.

Because the essay is essentially just telling a story, there’s a very natural flow that makes it enjoyable and easy to read. The student establishes the conflict at the beginning, then describes their solution and how they implemented it, and finally concludes with the lessons they took away from this experience. Transitions at the beginning of paragraphs effortlessly show the passage of time and how the student has progressed through the story.

Another reason this essay is so successful is because of the abundance of details. The reader truly feels like they are hiding in the room with the student as their parents yell because of the inclusion of quotes from the argument. We understand the precision and care they have for fixing computers because of the allusion to a surgeon with their scalpel. Not only does this imagery make the story more enticing, it also helps the reader gain a deeper appreciation for the type of person this student is and the adversity they have overcome.

If there were one thing this essay could do to improve, it would be to include a resolution to the conflict from the beginning. The student tells us how this business helped them grow as a person, but we don’t ever get to find out if they were able to lessen the financial burden on their parents or if they continued to struggle despite the student working hard. It doesn’t have to be a happy ending, but it would be nice to return to the conflict and acknowledge the effect they had on it, especially since this prompt is all about facing challenges.

Prompt #3: Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?

Prompt #3, example #1.

When I was younger, I was adamant that no two foods on my plate touch. As a result, I often used a second plate to prevent such an atrocity. In many ways, I learned to separate different things this way from my older brothers, Nate and Rob. Growing up, I idolized both of them. Nate was a performer, and I insisted on arriving early to his shows to secure front row seats, refusing to budge during intermission for fear of missing anything. Rob was a three-sport athlete, and I attended his games religiously, waving worn-out foam cougar paws and cheering until my voice was hoarse. My brothers were my role models. However, while each was talented, neither was interested in the other’s passion. To me, they represented two contrasting ideals of what I could become: artist or athlete. I believed I had to choose.

And for a long time, I chose athlete. I played soccer, basketball, and lacrosse and viewed myself exclusively as an athlete, believing the arts were not for me. I conveniently overlooked that since the age of five, I had been composing stories for my family for Christmas, gifts that were as much for me as them, as I loved writing. So when in tenth grade, I had the option of taking a creative writing class, I was faced with a question: could I be an athlete and a writer? After much debate, I enrolled in the class, feeling both apprehensive and excited. When I arrived on the first day of school, my teacher, Ms. Jenkins, asked us to write down our expectations for the class. After a few minutes, eraser shavings stubbornly sunbathing on my now-smudged paper, I finally wrote, “I do not expect to become a published writer from this class. I just want this to be a place where I can write freely.”

Although the purpose of the class never changed for me, on the third “submission day,” – our time to submit writing to upcoming contests and literary magazines – I faced a predicament. For the first two submission days, I had passed the time editing earlier pieces, eventually (pretty quickly) resorting to screen snake when hopelessness made the words look like hieroglyphics. I must not have been as subtle as I thought, as on the third of these days, Ms. Jenkins approached me. After shifting from excuse to excuse as to why I did not submit my writing, I finally recognized the real reason I had withheld my work: I was scared. I did not want to be different, and I did not want to challenge not only others’ perceptions of me, but also my own. I yielded to Ms. Jenkin’s pleas and sent one of my pieces to an upcoming contest.

By the time the letter came, I had already forgotten about the contest. When the flimsy white envelope arrived in the mail, I was shocked and ecstatic to learn that I had received 2nd place in a nationwide writing competition. The next morning, however, I discovered Ms. Jenkins would make an announcement to the whole school exposing me as a poet. I decided to own this identity and embrace my friends’ jokes and playful digs, and over time, they have learned to accept and respect this part of me. I have since seen more boys at my school identifying themselves as writers or artists.

I no longer see myself as an athlete and a poet independently, but rather I see these two aspects forming a single inseparable identity – me. Despite their apparent differences, these two disciplines are quite similar, as each requires creativity and devotion. I am still a poet when I am lacing up my cleats for soccer practice and still an athlete when I am building metaphors in the back of my mind – and I have realized ice cream and gummy bears taste pretty good together.

This essay is cohesive as it centers around the theme of identity and the ability for two identities to coexist simultaneously (an interesting theme!). It uses the Full Circle ending strategy as it starts with a metaphor about food touching and ends with “I have realized ice cream and gummy bears taste pretty good together.”

The main issue with this essay is that it could come off as cliché, which could be irritating for admissions officers. The story described is notably similar to High School Musical (“I decided to own this identity and embrace my friends’ jokes and playful digs, and over time, they have learned to accept and respect this part of me”) and feels slightly overstated. 

At times, this essay is also confusing. In the first paragraph, it feels like the narrative is actually going to be about separating your food (and is somehow going to relate to the older brothers?). It is not entirely clear that this is a metaphor. Also, when the writer references the third submission day and then works backward to explain what a submission day is and that there are multiple throughout the semester, the timeline gets unnecessarily confusing. Reworking the way this paragraph unfolded would have been more compelling and less distracting.

Overall, this essay was interesting but could have been more polished to be more effective.

Prompt #3, Example #2

I walked into my middle school English class, and noticed a stranger behind my teacher’s desk. “Hello,” she said. “Today I will be your substitute teacher.” I groaned internally. “Let me start off by calling roll. Ally?” “Here!” exclaimed Ally. “Jack?” “Here.” “Rachel?” “Here.” “Freddie?” “Present.” And then– “…?” The awkward pause was my cue. “It’s Jasina,” I started. “You can just call me Jas. Here.” “Oh, Jasina. That’s unique.” The word “unique” made me cringe. I slumped back in my seat. The substitute continued calling roll, and class continued as if nothing had happened. Nothing had happened. Just a typical moment in a middle school, but I hated every second of it.

My name is not impossible to pronounce. It appears challenging initially, but once you hear it, “Jas-een-a”, then you can manage it. My nickname, Jas (pronounced “Jazz”), is what most people call me anyway, so I don’t have to deal with mispronunciation often. I am thankful that my parents named me Jasina (a Hebrew name), but whenever someone hears my name for the first time, they comment, and I assume they’re making assumptions about me. “Wow, Jas is a cool name.” She must be pretty cool.“I’ve never heard the name Jasina before.” She must be from somewhere exotic. “Jas, like Jazz?” She must be musical and artsy. None of these assumptions are bad, but they all add up to the same thing: She must be unique. 

When I was little, these sentiments felt more like commands than assumptions. I thought I had to be the most unique child of all time, which was a daunting task, but I tried. I was the only kid in the second grade to color the sun red. I knew it was really yellow, but you could always tell which drawings were mine. During snack time, we could choose between apple juice and grape juice. I liked apple juice more, but if everyone else was choosing apple, then I had to choose grape. This was how I lived my life, and it was exhausting. I tried to continue this habit into middle school, but it backfired. When everyone became obsessed with things like skinny jeans and Justin Bieber and blue mascara (that was a weird trend), my resistance of the norm made me socially awkward. I couldn’t talk to people about anything because we had nothing in common. I was too different. 

After 8th grade, I moved to Georgia, and I was dreading being the odd one out among kids who had grown up together. Then I discovered that my freshman year would be Cambridge High School’s inaugural year. Since there were students coming in from 5 different schools, there was no real sense of “normal”. I panicked. If there was no normal, then how could I be unique? That’s when I realized that I had spent so much energy going against the grain that I had no idea what my true interests were or what I really cared about. 

It was time to find out. I stopped concentrating on what everyone else was doing and started to focus on myself. I joined the basketball team, I performed in the school musical, and I enrolled in Chorus, all of which were firsts for me. I took art classes, joined clubs, and did whatever I thought would make me happy. And it paid off. I was no longer socially awkward. In fact, because I was involved in so many unrelated activities, I was socially flexible. My friends and I had things in common, but there was no one who could say that I was exactly like anyone else. I had finally become my own person.

My father named me Jasina because he wanted my nickname to be “Jazz.” According to Webster, “jazz” is “music characterized by syncopated rhythms, improvisation, and deliberate distortions of pitch.” Basically, jazz is music that is off-beat and unpredictable. It cannot be strictly defined. 

That sounds about right. 

Right off the bat, this essay starts extremely strong. The description of attendance in a class with ample quotes, awkward pauses, and the student’s internal dialogue immediately puts us in the middle of the action and establishes a lot of sympathy for this student before we’ve learned anything else. 

The strength of this essay continues into the second paragraph where the use of quotes, italics, and interjections from the student continues. All of these literary tools help the student express her voice and allow the reader to understand what this student goes through on a daily basis. Rather than just telling the reader people make assumptions about her name, she shows us what these assumptions look and sound like, and exactly how they make her feel.

The essay further shows us how the student approached her name by providing concrete examples of times she’s been intentionally unique throughout her life. Describing her drawing red suns and choosing grape juice bring her personality to life and allow her to express her deviance from the “norm” in a much more engaging and visual way than simply telling the reader she would go against the grain to be different on purpose.

One part of the essay that was a bit weaker than the others was the paragraph about her in high school. Although it was still well written and did a nice job of demonstrating how she got involved in multiple groups to find her new identity, it lacked the same level of showing employed in previous paragraphs. It would have been nice to see what “socially flexible” means either through a conversation she had with her friends or an example of a time she combined her interests from different groups in a way that was uniquely her.

The essay finishes off how it started: extremely strong. Taking a step back to fully explain the origin of her name neatly brings together everything mentioned in this essay. This ending is especially successful because she never explicitly states that her personality aligns with the definition of jazz. Instead, she relies on the points she has made throughout the essay to stick in the reader’s memory so they are able to draw the connection themselves, making for a much more satisfying ending for the reader.

Prompt #4 (OLD PROMPT; NOT THE CURRENT PROMPT): Describe a problem you’ve solved or a problem you’d like to solve. It can be an intellectual challenge, a research query, an ethical dilemma – anything that is of personal importance, no matter the scale. Explain its significance to you and what steps you took or could be taken to identify a solution.

Prompt #4, example #1.

“Advanced females ages 13 to 14 please proceed to staging with your coaches at this time.” 

Skittering around the room, eyes wide and pleading, I frantically explained my situation to nearby coaches. The seconds ticked away in my head; every polite refusal increased my desperation. 

Despair weighed me down. I sank to my knees as a stream of competitors, coaches, and officials flowed around me. My dojang had no coach, and the tournament rules prohibited me from competing without one. 

Although I wanted to remain strong, doubts began to cloud my mind. I could not help wondering: what was the point of perfecting my skills if I would never even compete? The other members of my team, who had found coaches minutes earlier, attempted to comfort me, but I barely heard their words. They couldn’t understand my despair at being left on the outside, and I never wanted them to understand. 

Since my first lesson 12 years ago, the members of my dojang have become family. I have watched them grow up, finding my own happiness in theirs. Together, we have honed our kicks, blocks, and strikes. We have pushed one another to aim higher and become better martial artists. Although my dojang had searched for a reliable coach for years, we had not found one. When we attended competitions in the past, my teammates and I had always gotten lucky and found a sympathetic coach. Now, I knew this practice was unsustainable. It would devastate me to see the other members of my dojang in my situation, unable to compete and losing hope as a result. My dojang needed a coach, and I decided it was up to me to find one. 

I first approached the adults in the dojang – both instructors and members’ parents. However, these attempts only reacquainted me with polite refusals. Everyone I asked told me they couldn’t devote multiple weekends per year to competitions. I soon realized that I would have become the coach myself. 

At first, the inner workings of tournaments were a mystery to me. To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side. I learned everything from motivational strategies to technical, behind-the-scenes components of Taekwondo competitions. Though I emerged with new knowledge and confidence in my capabilities, others did not share this faith. 

Parents threw me disbelieving looks when they learned that their children’s coach was only a child herself. My self-confidence was my armor, deflecting their surly glances. Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities. 

Despite the attack, I refused to give up. When I saw the shining eyes of the youngest students preparing for their first competition, I knew I couldn’t let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was. The knowledge that I could solve my dojang’s longtime problem motivated me to overcome my apprehension. 

Now that my dojang flourishes at competitions, the attacks on me have weakened, but not ended. I may never win the approval of every parent; at times, I am still tormented by doubts, but I find solace in the fact that members of my dojang now only worry about competing to the best of their abilities. 

Now, as I arrive at a tournament with my students, I close my eyes and remember the past. I visualize the frantic search for a coach and the chaos amongst my teammates as we competed with one another to find coaches before the staging calls for our respective divisions. I open my eyes to the exact opposite scene. Lacking a coach hurt my ability to compete, but I am proud to know that no member of my dojang will have to face that problem again.

This essay is great because it has a strong introduction and a strong conclusion. The introduction is notably suspenseful and draws readers into the story. Because we know it is a college essay, we can assume that the student is one of the competitors, but at the same time, this introduction feels intentionally ambiguous as if the writer could be a competitor, a coach, a sibling of a competitor, or anyone else in the situation.

As we continue reading the essay, we learn that the writer is, in fact, the competitor. Readers also learn a lot about the student’s values as we hear their thoughts: “I knew I couldn’t let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was.” Ultimately, the conflict and inner and outer turmoil is resolved through the “Same, but Different” ending technique as the student places themself in the same environment that we saw in the intro, but experiencing it differently due to their actions throughout the narrative. This is a very compelling strategy!

The main weakness of this essay is that it is slightly confusing at times—how the other students found coaches feels unintentionally under-explained (a simple phrase like “through pleading and attracting sympathy” in the fourth paragraph could have served the writer well) and a dojang is never defined. Additionally, the turn of the essay or “volta” could’ve packed a bigger punch. It is put quite simply with “I soon realized that I would have become the coach myself.” A more suspenseful reveal could’ve served the author well because more drama did come later.

Prompt #5: Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.

Prompt #5, example #1.

Tears streamed down my face and my mind was paralyzed with fear. Sirens blared, but the silent panic in my own head was deafening. I was muted by shock. A few hours earlier, I had anticipated a vacation in Washington, D.C., but unexpectedly, I was rushing to the hospital behind an ambulance carrying my mother. As a fourteen-year-old from a single mother household, without a driver’s license, and seven hours from home, I was distraught over the prospect of losing the only parent I had. My fear turned into action as I made some of the bravest decisions of my life. 

Three blood transfusions later, my mother’s condition was stable, but we were still states away from home, so I coordinated with my mother’s doctors in North Carolina to schedule the emergency operation that would save her life. Throughout her surgery, I anxiously awaited any word from her surgeon, but each time I asked, I was told that there had been another complication or delay. Relying on my faith and positive attitude, I remained optimistic that my mother would survive and that I could embrace new responsibilities.

My mother had been a source of strength for me, and now I would be strong for her through her long recovery ahead. As I started high school, everyone thought the crisis was over, but it had really just started to impact my life. My mother was often fatigued, so I assumed more responsibility, juggling family duties, school, athletics, and work. I made countless trips to the neighborhood pharmacy, cooked dinner, biked to the grocery store, supported my concerned sister, and provided the loving care my mother needed to recover. I didn’t know I was capable of such maturity and resourcefulness until it was called upon. Each day was a stage in my gradual transformation from dependence to relative independence.

Throughout my mother’s health crisis, I matured by learning to put others’ needs before my own. As I worried about my mother’s health, I took nothing for granted, cherished what I had, and used my daily activities as motivation to move forward. I now take ownership over small decisions such as scheduling daily appointments and managing my time but also over major decisions involving my future, including the college admissions process. Although I have become more independent, my mother and I are inseparably close, and the realization that I almost lost her affects me daily. Each morning, I wake up ten minutes early simply to eat breakfast with my mother and spend time with her before our busy days begin. I am aware of how quickly life can change. My mother remains a guiding force in my life, but the feeling of empowerment I discovered within myself is the ultimate form of my independence. Though I thought the summer before my freshman year would be a transition from middle school to high school, it was a transformation from childhood to adulthood.

This essay feels real and tells readers a lot about the writer. To start at the beginning, the intro is 10/10. It has drama, it has emotions, and it has the reader wanting more.

And, when you keep going, you get to learn a lot about a very resilient and mature student. Through sentences like “I made countless trips to the neighborhood pharmacy, cooked dinner, biked to the grocery store, supported my concerned sister, and provided the loving care my mother needed to recover” and “Relying on my faith and positive attitude, I remained optimistic that my mother would survive and that I could embrace new responsibilities,” the reader shows us that they are aware of their resilience and maturity, but are not arrogant about it. It is simply a fact that they have proven!

Sometimes writing about adversity can feel exploitative or oddly braggy. This student backs up everything they say with anecdotes that prove and show their strength and resilience, rather than just claiming their strengths. When I read this essay, I want to cheer for its writer! And I want to be able to continue cheering for them (perhaps, if I were an admissions officer, that would make me want them at my school!).

Prompt #5, Example #2

Armed with a red pen, I slowly walked across the room to a small, isolated table with pink stools. Swinging her legs, my young student beamed and giggled at me, slamming her pencil bag on the table and bending over to pick up one of her toys. Natalie always brought some new toy with her to lessons—toys which I would sternly take away from her and place under the table until she finished her work. At the tutoring center where I work, a strict emphasis on discipline leaves no room for paper crowns or rubber chickens. 

Today, she had with her a large stuffed eagle from a museum. As she pulled out her papers, I slid the eagle to the other side of the table. She looked eagerly around, attempting to chat with other students as I impatiently called her attention to her papers. “I should name my eagle,” she chimed, waving her pencil in the air. I cringed—there was no wondering why Natalie always had to sit by herself. She was the antithesis of my academic values, and undoubtedly the greatest adversary of my teaching style.  

As the lesson progressed, Natalie became more fitful; she refused to release her feathered friend, and kept addressing the bird for help with difficult problems. We both grew increasingly more frustrated. Determined to tame this wryly, wiggling student, I stood my ground, set on converting this disobedient child to my calm, measured ways of study.  

As time slowly crept by, I noticed that despite Natalie’s cheerful tone and bright smile, the stuffed eagle was troublesomely quiet and stern-faced. Much like myself. Both the eagle and I were getting nowhere in this lesson—so we hatched a quick plan. Lifting the eagle up in the air, I started reading in my best impersonation of an eagle, squawking my way through a spelling packet. The result provided a sense of instant gratification I never knew I needed. She sang out every letter, clapped her hands at every page, and followed along with the eagle, stopping at every few letters to declare that “E is for eagle” and pet her teacher fondly on the beak.  

Despite my ostensibly dissatisfied attitude toward my students, I did not join the tutoring center simply to earn money. I had always aspired to help others achieve their fullest potential. As a young adult, I felt that it was time for me to step out of the role of a pupil and into the influential role of a teacher, naively believing that I had the maturity and skill to adapt to any situation and help these students reach their highest achievements academically. For the most part, the role of a stern-faced, strict instructor helped me get by in the workplace, and while my students never truly looked happy, I felt that it was part of the process of conditioning a child to learn. 

Ironically, my transition to adulthood was the result of a stuffed animal. It was indisputable that I always had the skill to instruct others; the only thing needed to instruct someone is knowledge of the subject. However, it was only upon being introduced to a stuffed bird in which I realized that students receive the most help not from instructors, but teachers. While almost anyone can learn material and spit it back out for someone, it takes the maturity and passion of a teacher not only to help students improve in their students, but also to motivate them and develop them into better citizens. From my young pupil and her little bird, I have undergone a change in attitude which reflects a growth in maturity and ability to improve the lives of others that I hope to implement in my future role as a student, activist, and physician. My newfound maturity taught me that the letter “e” stands for many things: empathy, experience, enthusiasm, and eagle.

In this essay, the student effectively explores their values (and how they learned them!) then identifies these values through a reflective conclusion. While the writer humbly recognizes the initial faults in their teaching style, they do not position their initial discipline or rigidity as mean or poorly intentioned—simply ineffective. This is important because, when you are discussing a transition like this, you don’t want admissions officers to think of you as having been a bad person. 

My favorite part about this essay is its subtlety. The major shift in the essay comes through the simple sentence “The result provided a sense of instant gratification I never knew I needed.” The facts of this narrative are not too complicated. Simply put, the writer was strict then learned that it’s sometimes more effective not to be strict. The complexity of this narrative comes through reflection. Notably, through the ending, the student identifies their values (which they hadn’t given a name to before): “it takes the maturity and passion of a teacher not only to help students improve in their students, but also to motivate them and develop them into better citizens.” 

The final sentence of this essay ties things up very nicely. Readers are left satisfied with the essay and convinced that its writer is a kind human with a large capacity for reflection and consideration. That is a great image to paint of yourself!

Prompt #5, Example #3

When it’s quiet, I can still hear the Friday night gossip and giggles of my friends. It’s a stark contrast from the environment I’ve known all my life, my home. My family has always been one to keep to themselves; introverts with a hard-working mentality—my father especially. He spent most of his time at work and growing up without him around, I came to be at peace with the fact that I’d probably never really get to know him. The thought didn’t bother me at the time because I felt that we were very different. He was stoic and traditional; I was trying to figure out who I was and explore my interests. His disapproval of the American music I listened to and my penchant for wearing hand-me-downs made me see him as someone who wanted to restrain my individuality. That explains why I relied heavily on my friends throughout middle and high school; they liked me for who I was. I figured I would get lonely without my friends during quarantine, but these last few months stuck at home gave me the time to make a new friend: my father. 

It was June. I had the habit of sleeping with my windows open so I wouldn’t need to set an alarm; the warmth of the sun and the sounds of the neighborhood children playing outside would wake me. One morning, however, it was not the chirping of birds or the laughter of children I awoke to, but the shrill of a saw. Through the window screen, on the grass below, my father stood cutting planks of wood. I was confused but didn’t question him—what he did with his time was none of my business. It was not until the next day, when I was attempting to work on a sculpture for an art class, that the sounds of hammering and drills became too much to ignore. Seeking answers, I trudged across my backyard towards the corner he was in. On that day, all there was to see was the foundation of what he was building; a shed. My intrigue was replaced with awe; I was impressed by the precision of his craft. Sharp corners, leveled and sturdy, I could imagine what it would look like when the walls were up and the inside filled with the tools he had spread around the yard. 

Throughout the week, when I was trying to finish my sculpture for art class—thinking about its shape and composition—I could not help but think of my father. Art has always been a creative outlet for me, an opportunity to express myself at home. For my dad, his craftsmanship was his art. I realized we were not as different as I had thought; he was an artist like me. My glue and paper were his wood and nails.

That summer, I tried to spend more time with my dad than I have in all my 18 years of life. Waking up earlier than usual so we could have our morning coffees together and pretending to like his favorite band so he’d talk to me about it, I took advantage of every opportunity I had to speak with him. In getting to know him, I’ve recognized that I get my artistry from him. 

Reflecting on past relationships, I feel I am now more open to reconnecting with people I’ve perhaps misjudged. In reconciling, I’ve realized I held some bitterness towards him all these years, and in letting that go, my heart is lighter. Our reunion has changed my perspective; instead of vilifying him for spending so much time at work, I can appreciate how hard he works to provide for our family. When I hear him tinkering away at another home project, I can smile and look forward to asking him about it later.

This is an outstanding example of the great things that can be articulated through a reflective essay. As we read the essay, we are simply thinking alongside its author—thinking about their past relationship with their father, about their time in quarantine, about aspects of themselves they think could use attention and growth. 

While we reflect, we are also centered by the student’s anecdote about the sculpture and the shed during quarantine. By centering us in real-time, the student keeps us engaged in the reflection.

The main strength here is the maturity we see on the part of its writer. The student doesn’t say “and I realized my father was the best dad in the world;” they say “and I realized my father didn’t have to be the best dad in the world for me to give him a chance.” Lots of students show themselves as motivated, curious, or compassionate in their college essays, but a reflective essay that ends with a discussion of resentment and forgiveness shows true maturity.

Prompt #5, Example #4

As a wide-eyed, naive seven-year-old, I watched my grandmother’s rough, wrinkled hands pull and knead mercilessly at white dough until the countertop was dusted in flour. She steamed small buns in bamboo baskets, and a light sweetness lingered in the air. Although the mantou looked delicious, their papery, flat taste was always an unpleasant surprise. My grandmother scolded me for failing to finish even one, and when I complained about the lack of flavor she would simply say that I would find it as I grew older. How did my adult relatives seem to enjoy this Taiwanese culinary delight while I found it so plain?

During my journey to discover the essence of mantou, I began to see myself the same way I saw the steamed bun. I believed that my writing would never evolve beyond a hobby and that my quiet nature crippled my ambitions. Ultimately, I thought I had little to offer the world. In middle school, it was easy for me to hide behind the large personalities of my friends, blending into the background and keeping my thoughts company. Although writing had become my emotional outlet, no matter how well I wrote essays, poetry, or fiction, I could not stand out in a sea of talented students. When I finally gained the confidence to submit my poetry to literary journals but was promptly rejected, I stepped back from my work to begin reading from Whitman to Dickinson, Li-Young Lee to Ocean Vuong. It was then that I realized I had been holding back a crucial ingredient–my distinct voice. 

Over time, my taste buds began to mature, as did I. Mantou can be flavored with pork and eggplant, sweetened in condensed milk, and moistened or dried by the steam’s temperature. After I ate the mantou with each of these factors in mind, I noticed its environment enhanced a delicately woven strand of sweetness beneath the taste of side dishes: the sugar I had often watched my grandmother sift into the flour. The taste was nearly untraceable, but once I grasped it I could truly begin to cherish mantou. In the same way the taste had been lost to me for years, my writer’s voice had struggled to shine through because of my self-doubt and fear of vulnerability.

As I acquired a taste for mantou, I also began to strengthen my voice through my surrounding environment. With the support of my parents, peer poets, and the guidance of Amy Tan and the Brontё sisters, I worked tirelessly to uncover my voice: a subtle strand of sweetness. Once I stopped trying to fit into a publishing material mold and infused my uninhibited passion for my Taiwanese heritage into my writing, my poem was published in a literary journal. I wrote about the blatant racism Asians endured during coronavirus, and the editor of Skipping Stones Magazine was touched by both my poem and my heartfelt letter. I opened up about being ridiculed for bringing Asian food to school at Youth Leadership Forum, providing support to younger Asian-American students who reached out with the relief of finding someone they could relate to. I embraced writing as a way to convey my struggle with cultural identity. I joined the school’s creative writing club and read my pieces in front of an audience, honing my voice into one that flourishes out loud as well.

Now, I write and speak unapologetically, falling in love with a voice that I never knew I had. It inspires passion within my communities and imparts tenacity to Asian-American youth, rooting itself deeply into everything I write. Today, my grandmother would say that I have finally unearthed the taste of mantou as I savor every bite with a newfound appreciation. I can imagine her hands shaping the dough that has become my voice, and I am eager to share it with the world.

This essay is structurally-sound, with the student’s journey learning to savor mantou and their journey trying to find their voice serving as outstanding parallels. Additionally, as they describe the journey to find a voice in their writing, they definitely show off their voice! The clear introduction provides a great image and draws us in with an intriguing question. Additionally, their little inserts like “a strand of sweetness” and “falling in love with a voice that I never knew I had” work very well.

When the student describes their first published poem, however, their writing gets a little more stilted. This is a common error students make when writing about their achievements. If this student is writing about the craft that goes into writing, we should hear the details of the craft that went into the poem, instead of simply learning that they “opened up about being ridiculed for bringing Asian food to school at Youth Leadership Forum.” This is interesting information but would be stronger if it were supplemented by descriptions of the voice they created, comparisons to the styles of other poets, and analysis of their stylistic choices. This would make the essay feel more cohesive, centering entirely around concepts of voice and style.

Prompt #6: Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?

Note: We don’t have a stellar example for this prompt, so instead, we’re sharing a couple examples that need improvement, and what can be done to make the essays more engaging. 

Prompt #6, Example #1

What factors shape the depth and allure of a literary character? This is the exact question I asked myself as my eyes riveted on the white pages covered with little black letters.

I was reading my old novels. I’ve written three novels and many short stories. Each of them repetitively portrayed the hero as intelligent and funny, and the antagonists as cold and manipulative. I came to the appalling realization that my characters were flat, neither exciting nor original. They just didn’t stand out! 

As Oscar Wilde said, ‘Vice and virtue are to the artist material to an art.’ Their mixing makes a novel addictive because its plot is rich with turnarounds and its characters more engaging. In his famous work The Picture of Dorian Gray , Wilde deconstructs the psyche of his characters. He brilliantly plays with the protagonist’s youthful appearance and the decaying portrait to build a truly unique idiosyncratic identity. The persona of Dorian Gray is so complicated a psychologist could analyze it for hours on end!

Inspired by this character, It was my turn to explore good and evil into characters to make my stories more enthralling. I skillfully played with vice and virtue, separating, merging them… My latest novel is the fruit of this exercise. I chose to set it in 20th century London. Its opium dens and exclusive salons; middle-class workers, peasants and politicians breathed the same newly industrialized air; modernity in Blackfriars bridge and tradition in St Paul’s Cathedral; all of these contrasts set the perfect environment for my characters to grow. Following Laclos’ Valmont, Maupassant’s Georges Duroy and Duffy’s Myra Hindley, I played with those contrasts to present an intricate character, truly creative – unlike my previous ones. Insanity, religion, depravity and love are merged into each character, reflecting Edwardian London. As I reflected on my work, I realized vice and virtue altogether made them more human and credible. These characters stood out, they were interesting, I even wanted to know more about them! 

After rewriting, erasing, typing, and thinking countless times, I realized writing is a unique exercise. Nothing is definite when you are holding a fountain pen, hearing its screeching sound on the white paper and watching the ebony ink forming letters. When I wasn’t too happy about a change I made in my story, I simply erased and rewrote it. Everything I imagined could happen: white pages are the only place the mouse eats the cat or the world is taken by a zombie attack! 

This exact exercise of diversifying my characters satisfied my relentless curiosity. Asking myself ‘how could this character be if she had lost her parents in a maritime tragedy?’ allowed me to view the world from different perspectives (some very dissimilar to my own) and considering how each character would react to different situations brought them to life. As I was writing, I was aiming to change the usual narratives I had previously traversed. I loved experimenting with countless personality traits in my characters – minutes flowing, my hand dancing on the paper as my mind was singing words coming alive….

There were times where my hand just stopped writing and my mind stopped raging. I tried thinking differently, changing a character’s background, the story, the setting. I was inspired by Zola, A.Carter, Fitzgerald, the Brontë sisters… I could observe the different reactions of their characters, and reflect on mine theoretically. But it was only part one of the work: I then had to write, sometimes aimlessly, sometimes frantically, always leading to fresh ideas – I was exploring the practical, trying, erasing and rewriting. Both theory and practice are required to gain intellectual independence and experience, in writing and more globally: before I can change a character, I have to understand it. Before we can change the world, we have to understand it.

The main strength of this essay is the authenticity of the topic the student chose. They aren’t making anything up or stretching the truth. Writing is something that captivates them, and that captivation shines through—particularly through their fourth paragraph (where they geek out over specific plots and characters) and their fifth paragraph (where they joyfully describe how writing has no limitations). Admissions officers want to see this passion and intensity in applicants! The fact that this student has already written three novels also shows dedication and is impressive.

The main weakness of this essay is its structure. Ironically, it is not super captivating. The essay would have been more compelling if the student utilized a “anecdote – answer – reflection” structure. This student’s current introduction involves a reflective question, citations about their past writing experience, then their thoughts on Oscar Wilde’s Dorian Gray. Instead, this student could’ve provided one cohesive (and powerful!) image of them being frustrated with their own writing then being inspired by Dorian Gray. This would look something like:

“I stayed up three nights in a row studying my own writing—bored by my own writing. The only thing more painful than seeing failure in the fruits of your labor is not seeing a path for improvement. I had written three novels and numerous short stories, and all I could come up with was funny and intelligent heroes going up against cold and manipulative villains. What kind of writer was so consistently cliche? On the third night, I wandered over to my bookshelf. Mrs. Dalloway caught my eye (it has such a beautiful cover). I flipped through. Then, I grabbed Giovanni’s Room . I was so obsessed with my shortcomings that I couldn’t even focus long enough to see what these authors were doing right. I picked up The Picture of Dorian Gray and decided to just start reading. By the end of the night, I was captivated.”

An introduction like this would flow nicely into the student describing their experience with Dorian Gray then, because of that experience, describing how they have altered their approach to writing. The conclusion of this essay would then be this student’s time for reflection. Instead of repeating content about their passion—“I then had to write, sometimes aimlessly, sometimes frantically” and “I was exploring the practical, trying, erasing and rewriting”—, the student could dedicate their conclusion to reflecting on the reasons that writing is so captivating or the ways that (until the day they die) writers will always be perfecting their craft.

This essay is a great example of how important it is to pick a topic that truly excites you. It also illustrates how important it is to effectively structure that excitement.

Prompt #6, Example #2

Astonished by the crashing sound of waves in my ear, I was convinced this magical shell actually held the sound of the big blue sea — my six-year-old self was heartbroken when I couldn’t take the thirty-dollar artificial shell from SeaWorld’s gift shop . It distinctly reminded me of the awestruck feeling I had when I witnessed the churning waves of a windy night by the ocean the previous weekend; I lost track of time gazing at the distant moonlit border dividing our world from the ever-growing black void. Turning to my mom, I inquired curiously, “Can we go to the place where the water ends one day?”

She explained to me I could never reach the end of the ocean because the harsh line I had seen was actually an illusion called the horizon —  there was no material end to the ocean. For a mind as young as mine was, the idea of infinity was incomprehensible. As my infatuation with the ocean continued to grow, I finally understood that regardless of how far I travel, the horizon is unattainable because it’s not a physical limit. This idea is why the ocean captivates me — no matter how much you discover, there is always more to explore. 

Learning about and exploring the ocean provided an escape from one reality into another; though we are on the same planet, it’s an entirely separate world. Through elementary and middle school, I devoted vast amounts of my free time to learning about simpler concepts like a dolphin’s ability to echolocate and coral reef ecosystems. I rented countless documentaries and constantly checked out books from my local library — my all-time favorite was an episode of the television series Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey titled “The Lost Worlds of Planet Earth.” This episode remained memorable because it was centered around the impacts of fossil fuels on marine animals; it was the first time I’d learned about the impending crisis we are faced with due to the human mistreatment of our planet.

Prior to viewing that episode, I relied on the ocean as an outlet — I fueled all of my emotions into studying marine organisms. Once I learned of its grave future, I delved into the world of environmental activism. This path was much more disheartening than studying echolocation — inevitable death due to climate change took a toll on my mental health. I attended two climate strikes in November of my sophomore year. Following the strikes, I joined Sunrise Movement Sacramento, a youth-led climate justice organization advocating for the Green New Deal. While analyzing legislation and organizing protests were significant takeaways from my experience with climate activism, they were not the most important. I became an organizer because of my love for the ocean and I remain an organizer because of my passion for dissolving the disproportionalities marginalized groups face due to the sacrificing of people’s livelihood for the sake of profit. The more I learned about our modern society, the more hopeless I grew that I could see any significant change within my lifetime.

However, this hopelessness comes in waves; every day, I remind myself of the moment I discovered the horizon. Or the moment I first dove into the beautiful waters of the Hawaiian coast and immediately was surrounded by breathtaking seas of magnificent creatures and coral gardens — life felt ethereal and beautiful. I remind myself that like the ocean, the vast majority of the universe has yet to be discovered; that distant border holds infinite opportunity to learn. In a universe as vast as ours, and life as rare as ours, individuals still choose to prioritize avarice over our planet. Despite this grave individualism, the ocean reminds me every day there is hope in the fight for a better world. Though I will never discover every inch of the ocean’s floor, I will forever envision and reach for new horizons.

Sometimes the path to a great essay is taking something normal and using it to show admissions officers who you are and what you value—that is precisely this student’s approach! Finding the ocean fascinating is not unique to this student. Tons of kids (and adults, too!) are obsessed with the ocean. What this student does is take things a step further as they explain their curiosity about the ocean in relation to their pain about the destruction of the environment. This capacity for reflection is great!

This student shows a good control of language through their thematic centering on ocean and horizons that carries through their essay—with ”this hopelessness comes in waves” and “I will forever envision and reach for new horizons.” The details provided throughout are also effective at keeping readers engaged—things like “ my six-year-old self was heartbroken when I couldn’t take the thirty-dollar artificial shell from SeaWorld’s gift shop” and “ my all-time favorite was an episode of the television series Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey titled “The Lost Worlds of Planet Earth.”

The main weakness of this essay is the lack of reflection when the student discusses environmental activism. There’s reflection on the student’s connection to the ocean and horizons at the beginning and at the end, but when the student discusses activism, the tone shifts from focusing on their internal thoughts to their external actions. Remember, a lot of students write about environmental activism, but not a lot of students write about an emotional connection to the ocean as an impetus for environmental activism. This student would stand out more to admissions officers if they had dug into questions of what the ocean means to them (and says about them) in the paragraphs beginning “Learning about and exploring the ocean…” and “Prior to viewing that episode.”

Prompt #7: Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you’ve already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.

Prompt #7, example #1.

Scalding hot water cascades over me, crashing to the ground in a familiar, soothing rhythm. Steam rises to the ceiling as dried sweat and soap suds swirl down the drain. The water hisses as it hits my skin, far above the safe temperature for a shower. The pressure is perfect on my tired muscles, easing the aches and bruises from a rough bout of sparring and the tension from a long, stressful day. The noise from my overactive mind dies away, fading into music, lyrics floating through my head. Black streaks stripe the inside of my left arm, remnants of the penned reminders of homework, money owed and forms due. 

It lacks the same dynamism and controlled intensity of sparring on the mat at taekwondo or the warm tenderness of a tight hug from my father, but it’s still a cocoon of safety as the water washes away the day’s burdens. As long as the hot water is running, the rest of the world ceases to exist, shrinking to me, myself and I. The shower curtain closes me off from the hectic world spinning around me. 

Much like the baths of Blanche DuBois, my hot showers are a means of cleansing and purifying (though I’m mostly just ridding myself of the germs from children at work sneezing on me). In the midst of a hot shower, there is no impending exam to study for, no newspaper deadline to meet, no paycheck to deposit. It is simply complete and utter peace, a safe haven. The steam clears my mind even as it clouds my mirror. 

Creativity thrives in the tub, breathing life into tales of dragons and warrior princesses that evolve only in my head, never making their way to paper but appeasing the childlike dreamer and wannabe author in me all the same. That one calculus problem that has seemed unsolvable since second period clicks into place as I realize the obvious solution. The perfect concluding sentence to my literary analysis essay writes itself (causing me to abruptly end my shower in a mad dash to the computer before I forget it entirely).  

Ever since I was old enough to start taking showers unaided, I began hogging all the hot water in the house, a source of great frustration to my parents. Many of my early showers were rudely cut short by an unholy banging on the bathroom door and an order to “stop wasting water and come eat dinner before it gets cold.” After a decade of trudging up the stairs every evening to put an end to my water-wasting, my parents finally gave in, leaving me to my (expensive) showers. I imagine someday, when paying the water bill is in my hands, my showers will be shorter, but today is not that day (nor, hopefully, will the next four years be that day). 

Showers are better than any ibuprofen, the perfect panacea for life’s daily ailments. Headaches magically disappear as long as the water runs, though they typically return in full force afterward. The runny nose and itchy eyes courtesy of summertime allergies recede. Showers alleviate even the stomachache from a guacamole-induced lack of self-control. 

Honestly though, the best part about a hot shower is neither its medicinal abilities nor its blissful temporary isolation or even the heavenly warmth seeped deep into my bones. The best part is that these little moments of pure, uninhibited contentedness are a daily occurrence. No matter how stressful the day, showers ensure I always have something to look forward to. They are small moments, true, but important nonetheless, because it is the little things in life that matter; the big moments are too rare, too fleeting to make anyone truly happy. Wherever I am in the world, whatever fate chooses to throw at me, I know I can always find my peace at the end of the day behind the shower curtain.

This essay is relatable yet personal! The writer makes themself supremely human through discussing the universal subject of showering. That being said, an essay about showering could easily turn boring while still being relatable. This writer keeps its relatable moments interesting and fun through vivid descriptions of common feelings including “causing me to abruptly end my shower in a mad dash to the computer before I forget it entirely” and “the stomachache from a guacamole-induced lack of self-control.”

While describing a universal feeling, this student also cleverly and intentionally mentions small facts about their life through simple phrases like “I’m mostly just ridding myself of the germs from children at work sneezing on me” and “the childlike dreamer and wannabe author in me.” To put it simply, though we are talking about a shower, we learn about so much more!

And, at the end, the student lets us know that that is exactly why they love showers. Showers are more than meets the eye! With this insightful and reflective ending (“the big moments are too rare, too fleeting to make anyone truly happy”), readers learn about this student’s capacity for reflection, which is an important capacity as you enter college.

The one major error that this writer commits is that of using a trite transition. The inclusion of “Honestly though” at the beginning of this student’s ending detracts from what they are trying to say and sticks out in their writing.

Prompt #7, Example #2

Steam whooshed from the pot as I unveiled my newest creation: duck-peppercorn-chestnut dumplings. The spicy, hearty aroma swirled into the kitchen, mingling with the smell of fresh dough. Grinning, I grabbed a plump dumpling with chopsticks, blew carefully, and fed it into the waiting mouth of my little sister. Her eyes widening, she vigorously nodded and held up five stubby fingers. I did a little happy dance in celebration and pulled my notebook out of my apron pocket. Duck-peppercorn-chestnut: five stars.

In my household, dumplings are a far cry from the classic pork and cabbage. Our menu boasts everything from the savory lamb-bamboo shoot-watercress to the sweet and crispy apple-cinnamon-date. A few years ago, my sister claimed she was sick of eating the same flavors over and over. Refusing to let her disavow our family staple, I took her complaint as a challenge to make the tastiest and most unconventional dumplings to satisfy her. With her as my taste tester and Mum in charge of dough, I spent months experimenting with dozens of odd ingredient combinations. 

During those days spent covered in flour, my dumplings often reminded me of myself—a hybrid of ingredients that don’t usually go together. I am the product of three distinct worlds: the suburbs of Boston, the rural Chinese village of [location removed], and the coastal city of [location removed]. At school, I am both the STEM nerd with lightning-fast mental math and the artistic plant mom obsessed with funky earrings. I love all that is elegant, from Chinese calligraphy to the rolling notes of the Gourd flute, yet I can be very not elegant, like when my sister and I make homemade slime. When I’m on the streets, marching for women’s rights and climate action, I’m loud, bellowing from the bottom of my gut. In the painting studio, though, I don’t speak unless spoken to, and hours can slip by like minutes. I’m loud and quiet. Elegant and messy. Nerdy and artistic. Suburban, rustic, and metropolitan.

While I’m full of odd combinations, they are only seemingly contradictory. Just as barbeque pork and pineapple can combine beautifully in a dumpling wrapper, different facets of my identity also converge. After my tenth-grade summer, when I spent six weeks studying design at art school and another three researching the brain at Harvard Med, I began asking myself: What if I mixed art and neuroscience together? That fall, I collaborated with my school’s art museum for an independent research project, exploring two questions: How are aesthetic experiences processed in the brain? And how can neuroscience help museums design exhibits that maximize visitor engagement? I combed through studies with results from tightly controlled experiments, and I spent days gathering my own qualitative data by observing museum visitors and asking them questions. With the help of my artistic skills, I could identify the visual and spatial elements of the exhibits that best held visitors’ attention. 

By synergizing two of the ingredients that make me who I am—art and neuroscience—I realized I shouldn’t see the different sides of myself as separate. I learned to instead seek the intersections between aspects of my identity. Since then, I have mixed art with activism to voice my opinions nonverbally, created Spotify playlists with both Chinese and western pop, and written flute compositions using music theory and math. In the future, by continuing to combine my interests, I want to find my niche in the world. I can make a positive impact on society without having to choose just one passion. As of now, my dream is to be a neuroscientist who designs art therapy treatments for mental health patients. Who knows though? Maybe my calling is to be a dim sum chef who teaches pottery on the side. I don’t know where I’ll go, but one thing’s for sure—being a standard pork and cabbage dumpling is definitely not my style.

This essay is outstanding because the student seems likable and authentic. With the first image of the student’s little sister vigorously nodding and holding up “five stubby fingers,” we find ourselves intrigued by the student’s daily life. They additionally show the importance of family, culture, and creativity in their life—these are great things to highlight in your essay!

After the introduction, the student uses their weird dumpling anecdote to transition to a discussion of their unique intersections. This is achieved smoothly because weirdness/uniqueness is the focus of both of these topics. Additionally, the comparison is not awkward because dumplings are used as more than just a transition, but rather are the through-line of the essay—the student weaves in little phrases like “Just as barbeque pork and pineapple can combine beautifully in a dumpling wrapper,” “By synergizing two of the ingredients that make me who I am,” and “being a standard pork and cabbage dumpling is definitely not my style.” This gives the essay its cohesive feel.

Authenticity comes through in this essay as the student recognizes that they don’t know what the future holds. They just know what kind of a person they are—a passionate one! 

One change that would improve this student’s essay would be focusing on fewer intersections in their third and last paragraph. The student mentions STEM, music, family activities, activism, and painting, which makes it feel like a distraction in middle of the essay. Focus on the most important things you want to show admissions officers—you can sit at intersections, but you can’t be interested in everything.

Prompt #7, Example #3

“Everyone follow me!” I smiled at five wide-eyed skaters before pushing off into a spiral. I glanced behind me hopefully, only to see my students standing frozen like statues, the fear in their eyes as clear as the ice they swayed on. “Come on!” I said encouragingly, but the only response I elicited was the slow shake of their heads. My first day as a Learn-to-Skate coach was not going as planned. 

But amid my frustration, I was struck by how much my students reminded me of myself as a young skater. At seven, I had been fascinated by Olympic performers who executed thrilling high jumps and dizzying spins with apparent ease, and I dreamed to one day do the same. My first few months on skates, however, sent these hopes crashing down: my attempts at slaloms and toe-loops were shadowed by a stubborn fear of falling, which even the helmet, elbow pads, and two pairs of mittens I had armed myself with couldn’t mitigate. Nonetheless, my coach remained unfailingly optimistic, motivating me through my worst spills and teaching me to find opportunities in failures. With his encouragement, I learned to push aside my fears and attack each jump with calm and confidence; it’s the hope that I can help others do the same that now inspires me to coach. 

I remember the day a frustrated staff member directed Oliver, a particularly hesitant young skater, toward me, hoping that my patience and steady encouragement might help him improve. Having stood in Oliver’s skates not much earlier myself, I completely empathized with his worries but also saw within him the potential to overcome his fears and succeed. 

To alleviate his anxiety, I held Oliver’s hand as we inched around the rink, cheering him on at every turn. I soon found though, that this only increased his fear of gliding on his own, so I changed my approach, making lessons as exciting as possible in hopes that he would catch the skating bug and take off. In the weeks that followed, we held relay races, played “freeze-skate” and “ice-potato”, and raced through obstacle courses; gradually, with each slip and subsequent success, his fear began to abate. I watched Oliver’s eyes widen in excitement with every skill he learned, and not long after, he earned his first skating badge. Together we celebrated this milestone, his ecstasy fueling my excitement and his pride mirroring my own. At that moment, I was both teacher and student, his progress instilling in me the importance of patience and a positive attitude. 

It’s been more than ten years since I bundled up and stepped onto the ice for the first time. Since then, my tolerance for the cold has remained stubbornly low, but the rest of me has certainly changed. In sharing my passion for skating, I have found a wonderful community of eager athletes, loving parents, and dedicated coaches from whom I have learned invaluable lessons and wisdom. My fellow staffers have been with me, both as friends and colleagues, and the relationships I’ve formed have given me far more poise, confidence, and appreciation for others. Likewise, my relationships with parents have given me an even greater gratitude for the role they play: no one goes to the rink without a parent behind the wheel! 

Since that first lesson, I have mentored dozens of children, and over the years, witnessed tentative steps transform into powerful glides and tears give way to delighted grins. What I have shared with my students has been among the greatest joys of my life, something I will cherish forever. It’s funny: when I began skating, what pushed me through the early morning practices was the prospect of winning an Olympic medal. Now, what excites me is the chance to work with my students, to help them grow, and to give back to the sport that has brought me so much happiness. 

A major strength of this essay comes in its narrative organization. When reading this first paragraph, we feel for the young skaters and understand their fear—skating sounds scary! Then, because the writer sets us up to feel this empathy, the transition to the second paragraph where the student describes their empathy for the young skaters is particularly powerful. It’s like we are all in it together! The student’s empathy for the young skaters also serves as an outstanding, seamless transition to the applicant discussing their personal journey with skating: “I was struck by how much my students reminded me of myself as a young skater.”

This essay positions the applicant as a grounded and caring individual. They are caring towards the young skaters—changing their teaching style to try to help the young skaters and feeling the young skaters’ emotions with them—but they are also appreciative to those who helped them as they reference their fellow staffers and parents. This shows great maturity—a favorable quality in the eyes of an admissions officer.

At the end of the essay, we know a lot about this student and are convinced that they would be a good addition to a college campus!

Prompt #7, Example #4

Flipping past dozens of colorful entries in my journal, I arrive at the final blank sheet. I press my pen lightly to the page, barely scratching its surface to create a series of loops stringing together into sentences. Emotions spill out, and with their release, I feel lightness in my chest. The stream of thoughts slows as I reach the bottom of the page, and I gently close the cover of the worn book: another journal finished.

I add the journal to the stack of eleven books on my nightstand. Struck by the bittersweet sensation of closing a chapter of my life, I grab the notebook at the bottom of the pile to reminisce.

“I want to make a flying mushen to fly in space and your in it” – October 2008

Pulling back the cover of my first Tinkerbell-themed diary, the prompt “My Hopes and Dreams” captures my attention. Though “machine” is misspelled in my scribbled response, I see the beginnings of my past obsession with outer space. At the age of five, I tore through novels about the solar system, experimented with rockets built from plastic straws, and rented Space Shuttle films from Blockbuster to satisfy my curiosities. While I chased down answers to questions as limitless as the universe, I fell in love with learning. Eight journals later, the same relentless curiosity brought me to an airplane descending on San Francisco Bay.

“I wish I had infinite sunsets” – July 2019

I reach for the charcoal notepad near the top of the pile and open to the first page: my flight to the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes. While I was excited to explore bioengineering, anxiety twisted in my stomach as I imagined my destination, unsure of whether I could overcome my shyness and connect with others.

With each new conversation, the sweat on my palms became less noticeable, and I met students from 23 different countries. Many of the moments where I challenged myself socially revolved around the third story deck of the Jerry house. A strange medley of English, Arabic, and Mandarin filled the summer air as my friends and I gathered there every evening, and dialogues at sunset soon became moments of bliss. In our conversations about cultural differences, the possibility of an afterlife, and the plausibility of far-fetched conspiracy theories, I learned to voice my opinion. As I was introduced to different viewpoints, these moments challenged my understanding of the world around me. In my final entries from California, I find excitement to learn from others and increased confidence, a tool that would later allow me to impact my community.

“The beauty in a tower of cans” – June 2020

Returning my gaze to the stack of journals, I stretch to take the floral-patterned book sitting on top. I flip through, eventually finding the beginnings of the organization I created during the outbreak of COVID-19. Since then, Door-to-Door Deliveries has woven its way through my entries and into reality, allowing me to aid high-risk populations through free grocery delivery.

With the confidence I gained the summer before, I took action when seeing others in need rather than letting my shyness hold me back. I reached out to local churches and senior centers to spread word of our services and interacted with customers through our website and social media pages. To further expand our impact, we held two food drives, and I mustered the courage to ask for donations door-to-door. In a tower of canned donations, I saw the value of reaching out to help others and realized my own potential to impact the world around me.

I delicately close the journal in my hands, smiling softly as the memories reappear, one after another. Reaching under my bed, I pull out a fresh notebook and open to its first sheet. I lightly press my pen to the page, “And so begins the next chapter…”

The structuring of this essay makes it easy and enjoyable to read. The student effectively organizes their various life experiences around their tower of journals, which centers the reader and makes the different stories easy to follow. Additionally, the student engages quotes from their journals—and unique formatting of the quotes—to signal that they are moving in time and show us which memory we should follow them to.

Thematically, the student uses the idea of shyness to connect the different memories they draw out of their journals. As the student describes their experiences overcoming shyness at the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes and Door-to-Door Deliveries, this essay can be read as an Overcoming Obstacles essay.

At the end of this essay, readers are fully convinced that this student is dedicated (they have committed to journaling every day), thoughtful (journaling is a thoughtful process and, in the essay, the student reflects thoughtfully on the past), and motivated (they flew across the country for a summer program and started a business). These are definitely qualities admissions officers are looking for in applicants!

Prompt #7, Example #5

“We’re ready for take-off!” 

The tires hit the tarmac and began to accelerate, and I just realized what I had signed up for. For 24 hours straight, I strapped myself into a broken-down SUV whereas others chose the luxury of soaring through the skies for a mere two hours. Especially with my motion sickness and driving anxiety, I would call myself crazy too.

To say I have always remained in my comfort zone is an understatement. Did I always order chicken fingers and fries at a restaurant? Yup! Sounds like me. Did I always create a color-coded itinerary just for a day trip? Guilty as charged. Did I always carry a first-aid kit at all times? Of course! I would make even an ambulance look unprepared. And yet here I was, choosing 1,000 miles of misery from Las Vegas to Seattle despite every bone in my body telling me not to.

The sunlight blinded my eyes and a wave of nausea swept over me. Was it too late to say I forgot my calculator? It was only ten minutes in, and I was certain that the trip was going to be a disaster. I simply hoped that our pre-drive prayer was not stuck in God’s voicemail box. 

All of a sudden, I noticed brightly colored rocks in the distance, ones I had been dying to see for years. Their fluorescence popped amongst the magnificent winding hills as the sunset became romantic in hue. The desert glistened with mirages of deep blue water unlike anything I had ever seen. Nevada was home, but home always seemed to be just desert and casinos. For once, I looked forward to endless desert outside my window rather than a sea of clouds.

I never realized how little I discovered of the world beyond home. For years I complained about how there was nothing to do or discover outside. Not once did I set out to prove myself wrong. Instead, I chose a daily routine of homework at the kitchen table and late-night TV. However, as summer vacation ended, I decided to set my stubbornness aside and finally give this drive back home a chance. Little did I know that it would turn out to be my favorite trip of all time. 

As we drove along, the world chose to prove me wrong when I discovered Heaven on Earth along Shasta Lake. I stood out of the sunroof, surrounded by lush green mountains and fog. I extended my arms out and felt a sense of flight that no plane could ever take me on. As the water vapor kissed my face, I floated into a dreamland I never wanted to leave. I didn’t have to go to great lengths to discover the beauty of the world; it was right in front of me.  From this moment on, comfort and convenience would no longer be my best friends. Rather than only looking for famous travel destinations or following carefully mapped-out routes, I would let curiosity lead the way. 

Since then, my daily life has been anything but routine. I’m proud to boast of my family’s homemade kombucha attempts, of flights purchased and taken in one day, and of a home flooded with knick-knacks from thrifting trips. Every day I set out to try something new, see a different perspective, and go beyond normal. Whether it is by trying a new recipe using taro, making a risky fashion choice with wide-legged pants, or listening to a new music genre in Spanish, I always act with curiosity first.

Over the years, I have devoted my time towards learning Swedish, building computers, and swimming. Although my accent is horrid, some computers almost broke, and even a starfish would outswim me, I continue to enjoy activities I once criticized. For me, there is no enjoyment without some risk. Nobody I know is a kazoo-playing, boogie-board loving, boba connoisseur like me.

This essay is an Overcoming Challenges story that centers around a single anecdote. The structure works nicely as the student describes what they were like before their road trip, what happened on the road trip, and what they were like after. 

The most major improvement that this essay needs is better-communicated authenticity. At the beginning, it feels a bit gimmicky. The student describes their preparedness, particularly the fact that they always carry a first aid kit, and it’s not super believable. Then, when they write “Was it too late to say I forgot my calculator?” it feels like we are in a sitcom and the student is that funny obsessive kid. Sitcom characters don’t feel real and you want to make yourself appear profoundly real.

On a similar note, the narrative arc of this essay isn’t entirely believable. The student describes a large personality and value shift but doesn’t describe any struggles that accompany the shift. A quick shift like that is far from easy. On the other hand, if the immediacy of the shift was easy, they could write about moments after their shift in mindset when they have felt troubled by residual desires to stay in their comfort zone, instead of writing “I always act with curiosity first.”

The greatest strength of this essay is the paragraphs beginning “I never realized how little…” and “As we drove along…” The fixation on comfort seems much more believable when it involves “homework at the kitchen table and late-night TV.” The descriptions of the drive provide beautiful, evocative imagery. And it’s topped off with some nice reflection! Digging into this great portion of the essay would make this an even stronger essay!

Want to see more examples? Check out this post with 16 strong essay examples from top schools , including common supplemental essay questions.

At selective schools, your essays account for around 25% of your admissions decision. That’s more than grades (20%) and test scores (15%), and almost as much as extracurriculars (30%). Why is this? Most students applying to top schools will have stellar academics and extracurriculars. Your essays are your chance to stand out and humanize your application.

That’s why it’s vital that your essays are engaging, and present you as someone who would enrich the campus community.

Before submitting your application, you should have someone else review your essays. It’s even better if that person doesn’t know you personally, as they can best tell whether your personality shines through your essay. 

That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

Related CollegeVine Blog Posts

How to Write Yearbook Articles: Great Ideas & Tips

If you’re training up an intrepid team of journalists, you’re likely to find that many of your first-time students and volunteers will struggle with how to write an article for the yearbook. That’s normal (even after a crash course in journalism). To solve that, get your team thinking about the three essential elements to any yearbook article: leads, transitions, and quotes.

Taken together, these elements can pull any writer out of a rut. And, better yet, they’ll make every article better. Let’s discuss each, shall we?

Leads: First Impressions Matter

We’ll start our discussion at the beginning, because, well, that’s where every article starts, right?

The first sentence (or couple of sentences) in a yearbook article are the most important. It’s where a reader gets the essence of the story being told and it’s where the writer is given the opportunity to hook a reader and persuade him or her to read more.

(No pressure or anything.)

This portion of an article has a name. It’s called the lead (or, in more traditional journalism, the “lede”). Without it, a story can’t begin. And without a good one, a reader won’t bother to continue reading.

There are a lot of rules about what makes a good lead. Here’s a few of them: they’re short, they’re filled with action (and, sometimes, conflict), and they’re focused on giving the reader the most important details.

Mostly, though, you’ll know a good one when you see one.

Take a look at these two:

A healthy 17-year-old heart pumped the gift of life through 34-year-old Bruce Murray Friday, following a four-hour transplant operation that doctors said went without a hitch.

— “It Fluttered and Became Bruce Murray’s Heart.” By Jonathan Bor, Syracuse Post-Standard, May 12, 1984

From Dan Ralescu’s sun-warmed beach chair in Thailand, the Indian Ocean began to look, oddly, not so much like waves but bread dough.

— “Tri-staters tell stories of the devastating tsunami” By Tony Cook, The Cincinnati Post, Jan. 8, 2005

Though the first gets to the heart (pardon the pun) of the story immediately, the second takes an anecdotal approach. Both, though, do a great job of grabbing your interest. And that’s the point of a lead.

Transitions: Connecting To a Larger Picture

A lead, often, will be a nugget of information or a glimpse into a larger story.

Without some help, getting that anecdote or mini-story to mean something more can be tough. That’s where transitions come in. A transition links a specific aspect of your yearbook article to a larger context. It can also help with moving you from one distinct thought to another without feeling jarring.

In a sense, a transition is a bridge, moving a reader from one part of your article to another without a huge jump. They’re most powerful when they relate to what the writer has just discussed, while also being clear about the next subject matter.

If we continue with our examples, you’ll notice how this happens in two different ways.

(Note: If you’re reading the linked articles, we’ve skipped a few sentences in the first story to get to this example.)

Within a few days, Murray should be able to sit up in bed and, within a week, pedal a stationary bicycle. Murray is the first Syracuse resident to receive a heart transplant.

The devastating tsunami that struck Southeast Asia Dec. 26 killed people from dozens of countries. It also has touched the lives of many tri-state residents who had relatives in the region, some of whom were killed. Ralescu lived through it.

Notice how both connect the specific worlds of Bruce Murray and Dan Ralescu to a larger context?

A reader instantly understands more about the articles as a whole (and what the initial stories represent) while also giving the writer an avenue to relay information that would otherwise feel completely irrelevant.

Quotes: Adding Color to the Context

If leads and transitions are designed to tell a story and connect it to a larger picture, quotes are there to add color.

Because they’re so good at doing that, though, young journalists and well-meaning volunteers can get quote-happy. Don’t let that happen. Too many quotes can lessen the impact of one truly good one. And a good one has a lot to offer, like a unique perspective on an event, a glimpse into someone’s personality, or an injection of emotion.

A good rule for quotes, then, is this: Include it only if it adds to the story.

Again, back to our examples:

The new heart, beating slowly at first, gradually took over the task of pumping blood through Murray’s body. And by 5:25 a.m., Dr. Eric Rose emerged from the 19th-floor operating room and proclaimed the procedure a success.  “It went beautifully,” said Rose, who wore a heart-shaped pin bearing the inscription, “surgeon.” At 33, Rose is said to be the youngest transplant surgeon in the world. “It was routine, nothing unusual. I do it every day, just as you hold that pad in your hand,” he told a reporter.

Moments later amid the chaos, screams and floating debris, Ralescu, a cellist with the Kentucky Symphony Orchestra and mathematics professor at the University of Cincinnati, began to understand why. At one point, “I swallowed water,” he recalled Friday. “I thought, OK, this is my end.”

In the first, we get a picture of the man who plays a key role in our story: he’s understated and he’s confident. In the second, we get put into someone else’s shoes altogether: What happened and what he was feeling.

In both cases, the quotes help bring a reader closer to the article’s subjects.

How to Write An Article With Leads, Transitions, and Quotes

When your journalists sit down to write their articles, they’ll need to have their notes and background information at the ready. That information serves as the backbone of any good article, and it’s often where the best stories are found.

Here are some quick tips to turning those good foundations into great yearbook articles:

• Find a main character. Every good story has a protagonist. And though that type of main character is reserved for works of fiction, we can’t help but stress how important it is to find one in reporting, too. Having a person at the center of your story makes everything more interesting. Period.
• Focus on the details. “Get the name of the dog.” Talk to an old journalist about gathering facts and he or she will tell you to do just that. No detail is too small—even the name of the dog—because that’s the type of information that makes a story shine. (By the way, this is a great time to go read those example leads again. Notice the focus on detail?)
• Always answer your reader’s questions. Because reporters are deep into stories, it can be easy for them to get lost on why the article is being written. So, have your journalists think like a reader. When editing, ask “why” and “how” and “when” (and the rest of the W’s, too.) Answering these questions throughout the article will keep your reader interested in learning more.

Learning how to write an article can a daunting task for any new yearbook journalist, but using these tips and pairing them with the essential elements will save them a whole bunch of frustration. Spend some time discussing each, and show them examples, too. We bet they’ll pick it up in no time.

More Writing

12 Tips for Answer Georgia College and State University Personal Essay Questions

Wednesday, August 28, 2024

Writing a strong personal essay is an essential component of the application process when you apply to Georgia College and State University (GCSU).  In the personal essay questions , the  themes of career goals, personal growth, and community service are often emphasised. The university asks the students to elaborate on why they are interested in a particular field of study or recount a challenging situation they went through and how they managed to resolve it. 

Students can demonstrate their skills, achievements, and values by using real-life experiences as examples. In addition, the university’s personal essay questions require students to strike a balance between self-reflection and storytelling. Students must also present clear knowledge of how their experiences and prospective goals relate to the institution’s values. 

However, some students do not have enough skills to effectively answer such questions while  applying to university. So, this guide is for such students. Here,  we will provide tips on  writing a personal statement and answering such essay questions in your university application. 

How to Answer Georgia College and State University Personal Essay Questions?

Georgia College aims to extend education outside of the classroom to support students' critical thinking abilities. Thus, they have incorporated such questions into the enrolment applications. Below are the 12 tips that will provide  assistance with your essay  questions and improve your chances of having your application accepted.

1. Know the Best Ideas for Your Essay

The personal essay questions Georgia College and State University are meant to add more insight into your application. In addition, the response to such personal essay topics helps the admission committee to know more about you. To write a strong essay, make sure that your thoughts are coherent and reflect your own experiences. 

Here, we are providing you with some tricks to come up with amazing ideas:

• Understand the prompt.
• Read the question carefully.
• Get the core ideas.

Ideas Brainstorming

• Recall life events that have shaped who you are today.
• Think about how your social, academic or cultural backgrounds have influenced you.
• Remember times when you overcame challenges or achieved milestones in life.
• Focus on strengths or areas of passion for you.

Your ideas must:

• Be relevant to the prompt.
• Be realistic.
• In line with what the university stands for.

2. Reflect on Your Experiences

As you prepare to apply to university, remember the experiences that have contributed to shaping you the way you are now. Your essay should show how these developments, interests, and objectives align with the university's mission and values.

Think about the following points while you reflect on your experiences:

Obstacles and Challenges

What barriers or hurdles have hindered your progress in the past, and what methods did you capitalise on to go beyond them? Which abilities were sharpened from these experiences? How did these experiences affect your outlook towards life and your goals?

Positions and Duties in Leadership

Retrace your steps and recount what you acquired. Restate lessons you learned from playing a leading role.

Academic Accomplishments and Interests

Reverse the positions, think about yourself, and concentrate on your various achievements in class. How did you develop an interest in these areas, and what have they done to help you reach your goals?

Development of the Self and Self-Awareness

Apart from considering one’s personal developments, consider the times when challenges or disappointments were faced and dealt with. When and how did you confront these challenges? What did you learn about yourself while doing so?

As you think about these events, think about the following questions:

• What skills did this encounter assist me in developing or improving?
• What changes has this encounter brought to my ambitions and goals?
• In what way does this experience relate to my aspirations and objectives?
• What values or principles did this experience instil or reinforce in me?
• What precise moments or stories can I draw on?

3. Don't Tell them a Story They Want; Tell them What You Want

When crafting your essays for applications, it is easy to get into the comfort zone of writing in a way that seems pleasant to the members of the admissions committee. This approach, however, often fails to showcase your point. Instead, it is advisable to be unapologetically bold and tell the story you want to tell, regardless of who it will appeal to. Understand that it is very important to be real in your essay.

When writing your personal statement, consider these points:

• Focus on how the engagement aspects of your essay have been drawn from your unique experiences. 
• Explain how being unique comes from expressing yourself on your own rather than what you believe the college would prefer to hear.
• Explain why authentic stories are more interesting as they are true and emotional.
• Argue that for your essay to capture attention, it is important to be free, vulnerable, and take risks in your narrative.
• Expressing your wishes reveals more about your true self, and that is what the college is looking for.

4. Be Authentic

Finding one’s values, beliefs, and passions is the heart of authenticity. This starts in the inner space where you try so hard to know yourself and decide which of your values are the most important. There is authenticity in overcoming the temptation to conform to other people’s expectations or remain true to one’s core beliefs. This offered a foundation of integrity and formed the basis of all other forms of honest living.

Here are some remarkable aspects of authenticity:

5. Keep it Concise

A well-developed statement is probably an important component of your university application. Therefore, this comprehensive guide is an opportunity to demonstrate your unique features, life history and aspirations to the admission committee.

Moreover, when it comes to providing an essay that stands out, there is a need to ensure that it is written interestingly and coherently and let it remain on topic. Here are some of the suggestions that can help you achieve this:

• Ensure that there is no room for ambiguity.
• Provide your readers with relevant examples.
• Avoid needless information.
• Choose simple and straight-to-the-point words.

6. Think Outside the Box!

Do not restrict yourself with commonly known details about yourself but be brave and include little more creativity in your paper.

Here are a few helpful hints that will assist you in doing so:

• Refusal may be miserable, but reluctantly tell the admissions committee your fabulous and unique achievements.
• In ways that are explosive to emotions or stretch one's imagination, draw a picture on the spare part of the essay and tell a story instead of better structuring it.

Most people approach the task of doing something different as a way of trying to succeed personally and professionally.

7. Use Proper Grammar and Spelling

In a personal statement, an applicant must pay attention to the structure of the essay, including spelling and grammatical conventions. To eliminate such mistakes, it is recommended to:

• Carry out a basic form to improve the writing of the essay.
• Utilise online resources for grammar and spell check.
• Seek feedback.

With these guidelines, students make sure that there will be no errors in answers to personal essay questions about grammar. It is also necessary to organise the document properly to be favourable to the admission board. In addition, you can also get samples from  legit essay writing firms in the UK   to understand the structure of personal essays for university applications. 

8. Revise Often and Edit

Here, we are going to look into the need to edit and revise the answers we have written for the personal essay questions. By following these strategies, you can make your essay stand out.

• Remove unnecessary elements and improve the organisation of your work.
• Make your arguments and their supporting evidence stronger.
• Improve grammatical errors and sentence fluency.
• Express more of who you are through words and speech.
• Rectify gaps and inconsistencies in your narratives.

Editing your essay requires you to also look at the spelling, grammar or punctuation of the essay. When doing so, particularly pay attention to grammar, punctuation, length of sentences, word choice, and consistency. 

How to start Editing your Essay?

Essay revision is checking the content, structure, and flow of the essay. While undertaking this process, take into consideration the following:

• Am I clear and focused in my thesis statement?
• Does the flow of my answers make sense?
• Do my anecdotes and examples of work support my points?
• Am I able to use the same voice/tone throughout the essay?
• Is there anything else that I could include to give more details?

9. Highlight Your Strengths

To stand out from other applicants, highlight your strengths in the essay. Before you put your pen on paper, spare a minute or two and try to recall particular events, achievements, and traits. To focus on your academic achievements, ask yourself:

• What are the specific achievements I have attained and the strong skills I possess in university?
• What are the objectives and aspirations I have about my career?
• What factors make me different from other people?

To highlight the strong points in your answer to personal essay questions, you can use examples and narratives. In addition, it is also advisable to highlight your soft skills and let your readers feel your passion and excitement.

10. Demonstrate Your Fit

A powerful piece detailing your personal experiences only works when you show how you fit into Georgia College and State University, its beliefs, and its aim. In addition, add the following salient features to your response to personal essay questions:

Background in Academia 

Talk about your academic history first, highlighting any academic projects that show your readiness for the school you are applying to. Give details of any awards, competitions, or activities that underscore your achievements in your area of study.

Experience That Matters

Mention any planned internships or previous work experience which is relevant to the degree or course you are looking for. Explain how these experiences shaped your career goals.

Link to the University

Why do you want to study at Georgia College and State University? Justify why you believe this particular university is the most suitable for you. Explain how you will be useful to the school community considering the faculty members, research facilities and university culture. 

Long-term Vision

Explain what the future is going to hold for you, particularly how you see the contribution you will make to the field of your choice after you finish the degree. Mention how your university education and experiences will create opportunities for you to achieve these goals and promote positive change as well. You may make arguments that positively reinforce yourself in terms of why you are a strong prospect for the program you are applying to. 

11. Get Started Early

It is very important to start dealing with the Georgia College and State University personal essay questions as soon as possible. If you plan early, you will have sufficient time to arrange and write the essay content and predictably proofread it. This is why it is necessary to commence at the earliest point.

Why, then, should you get started early? Here are some of the reasons:

• Stress is decreased when you start early!
• You'll generate more ideas if you give yourself more time to brainstorm!
• You may demonstrate to the admissions committee that you are serious about attending the university.  
• You are prepared to put in the time and effort to learn more about it by researching it and its core values.
• You'll have more time to proofread, edit, and refine your responses.

12. Seek Help When Needed

Assistance seeking is very important, particularly when responding to a personal essay question. One can feel immense pressure to perform well, and this is understandable. Furthermore, it’s important to recognise when you are stuck and need help. 

A teacher, mentor, or guidance counsellor offers support to craft a good paper. You can also  purchase your essay  from online resources that will lead to successful admission to your desired university. 

How to answer Georgia College and State University Personal Essay Questions?

Here are the tips for answering these question types;

• Do not be afraid of making your voice heard. 
• Structure a clear and interesting essay.
• Make use of the words and writing skills that you already have.
• Write about yourself. But don't try to encapsulate your whole life!
• Answer the question that has been asked.
• Read it over again!
• Write on the internet in a networked word processor.

What should be included in College and State University Personal Essay Questions?

It is best to talk about both positive and negative matters, a humiliating experience, or a quality or interest that exemplifies your values. If you are honest about the issue, character flaws, or sad childhood events, the reader will find it far more credible. 

In addition, it will exhibit your personal life experiences that the admission panel wants to know. So, by including all the information, you can fulfil the true objective of such essay types in application forms. 

The importance of the personal essay questions in the Georgia College and State University application process enables candidates to make the best impression and talk more about themselves. An effective essay can provide a student’s perspective to the admission committees, which are usually standardised, and help to distinguish them from everyone else. 

Moreover, students can show in their essays how well they will integrate themselves into the programs by spinning a good and well-organised narrative. Finally, submitting an excellent personal essay shows that the candidate is open and honest. In addition, the applicant understands what the university is all about and its values. 

Students who follow such practice can write a good manuscript, which allows them to develop their competencies and increase their chances of being accepted into university. Thus, they can begin their developmental, educational, and achievement-oriented journey and fulfil all their academic and career ambitions.

Chris Bates

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