mother to son essay

Mother to Son

By Langston Hughes

‘Mother to Son’ by Langston Hughes employs the metaphor of a staircase to represent life’s challenges, emphasizing themes of determination and wisdom.

Langston Hughes

Nationality: American

Langston Hughes had a five-decade career.

Poem Analyzed by Emma Baldwin

B.A. English (Minor: Creative Writing), B.F.A. Fine Art, B.A. Art Histories

‘Mother to Son’ by Langston Hughes was first published in December of 1922 in the magazine, Crisis. It was also included in Hughes’ collection, The Weary Blues, published four years later. This piece is one of his most popular and relatable. Readers of all backgrounds can come to this poem and feel themselves either in the shoes of the child or the mother, or perhaps both. It’s a very emotional piece, one that is meant to a reminder of life’s hardships and an inspiration for the strength needed to persevere through them.

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Explore Mother to Son

• 3 Structure and Form
• 4 Literary Devices
• 5 Analysis of Mother to Son
• 6 Similar Poetry

The poem contains a mother’s warning to her son about the stairs one is forced to climb throughout life. He must watch out for broken boards, splinters, and tacks. These things are there in order to throw him off. Additionally, she explains that although he might get exhausted or desperate, he is never to turn around or sit down. She is still trudging up the stairs, and he can get too.

In regards to the theme, a reader can interpret the poem as speaking on the importance of experience and determination. As stated above, the speaker is a woman who is addressing her son. She is attempting to explain to him, through the image of the staircase, what his life is going to be like. No matter how dark or dangerous the stairs get, one must continue “climbin’,” as the mother is.  

It is also important to consider the historical context of this piece. Hughes was an important member of the Harlem Renaissance , who wrote extensively on the oppression and racism that Black Americans face. With this in mind, the speaker can be seen as a generalized image of an African American mother who wants to explain the troubles her black son is going to face as he ages.  

Structure and Form

‘Mother to Son’ by Langston Hughes is a twenty-line poem that is contained within one stanza of text. Hughes composed the text in free verse . This means that there is no pattern of rhyme or rhythm . That does not mean that the word choices are unimportant. In fact, they are lyrical in nature. This can be seen through Hughes’ thoughtful selection of words that reflect a specific dialect and examples of half-rhyme throughout the text.

Literary Devices

Langston Hughes has chosen to use anaphora , dialect, and imagery , as well as other literary devices in ‘Mother to Son.’ Anaphora is the repetition of words at the beginning of lines, as well as just a general repetition of words throughout the poem. Anaphora is clearest in lines 4-6 and 10-12. These lines all begin with “And.” They also build off one another, leading up to moving and poignant statements that say something about the difficulties ahead for the son.

A reader should also take note of Hughes’s dialectic choices. He uses shortened versions of words such as “reachin’” rather than “reaching” and “landin’s” rather than “landings.” This has the effect of making the verses more song-like. It also speaks to the narrator ’s own background and might lead one to assume this person is uneducated. She is a working-class woman who is speaking frankly and on her own terms.

One of the most important images of this piece is that of the crystal stair. Hughes uses the staircase as an extended metaphor to represent the hardships that life presents. His speaker describes how the staircase is not “crystal.” It is instead dangerous, torn up, and covered in “tacks” and “splinters.” She also speaks on the way the staircase turns, and the “landings” one eventually reaches along the way.

Analysis of Mother to Son

Well, son, I’ll tell you: Life for me ain’t been no crystal stair. (…) And places with no carpet on the floor— Bare.

In the first section of lines, Hughes begins with the speaker addressing her son. The first words, “Well, son, I’ll tell you:” sets up the conversation as informal but also important. She clearly has something she needs to tell him, and it isn’t going to be easy. The main thing that the mother wants to tell her son is that,  

Life for [her hasn’t] been no crystal stair.  

She is contrasting her own life against one that is easy to progress through (or up). In her case, moving forward represents a staircase with “tacks” and “splinters” protruding from the wood. The wood is also torn up in places, entire boards missing. It is dangerous to live her life, and more often than not, each step presents something new to fear.  

The fact that boards are missing from the staircase speaks to the lack of support she received or to the missing links in her own understanding of what she should do next. The last lines add to the already painful and at times scary, staircase she has described. Of the boards that do remain on the stairs, and the landings she will come to in the next lines, some of those do not have “carpet.” Again, she is describing the poor conditions she has had to deal with and what a struggle it has been, and still is, for her to live.

But all the time I’se been a-climbin’ on, (…) And sometimes goin’ in the dark Where there ain’t been no light.

Despite all of the things mentioned in the first seven lines, the speaker is still moving forward. She wants to make sure that, above all else, this is the lesson her son learns. “All the time” she has been struggling, she has also been “a-climbin’ on” up the metaphorical stairs of her life.  

To describe the different periods of her life, she inserts landings into the staircase. These are places the stairs might take a turn, or she might be able to rest. Whenever she reached these “landin’s” she went ahead and turned the corner. The speaker was not afraid of what might be on the other side, even when she was entering into the “dark.” This is another character trait she is hoping to pass on to her son. Even though she knows how bad things can be, she is unafraid, or at least strong enough, to face them.  

Not only are the places she is forced to go dark, but there has also has never been any light there. This means that either she is the first one there or one of many who have seen the same darkened corridors of life.  

Lines 14-20

So boy, don’t you turn back. Don’t you set down on the steps (…) I’se still climbin’, And life for me ain’t been no crystal stair.

In the final stanza of ‘Mother to Son,’  the speaker directly addresses her son again. She uses the word “boy” to call his attention and make sure he is still listening to her. The mother tells her son that no matter what he might be going through, now or in the future, he cannot “turn back.” There is nothing down the stairs that will help one make it past an obstacle ahead.  

She also tells him not to “set down on the steps.” Any hesitation or fear will only make the situation worse. He needs to persevere, especially past these most difficult parts. The speaker also warns her son against “fall[ing].” The stairs must be handled carefully as there are broken boards, tacks, and splinters to avoid. These obstacles, not of one’s own making, are only emphasized by those brought on by one’s choices. The staircase becomes more and more difficult, depending on how one handles their own life.  

In the last three lines, the speaker reiterates that even though life is hard, she is still going. She is “still climbin’” through the hardships.  

Similar Poetry

Readers who enjoyed  ‘Mother to Son’  should also consider reading some of Hughes’ other best-known poems . These include  ‘ Dreams ,’ ‘I, Too, Sing America, ‘  and  ‘ The Negro Speaks of Rivers.’   In the latter, Hughes utilizes a speaker who describes the history of the world through what he’s seen alongside rivers. It is one of Hughes’ best-loved poems. in  ‘I, Too, Sing America,’  the speaker asserts his Americanism in the face of those who look down upon the Black population in the United States. He is equal among all people in his country. In  ‘Dreams,’  Hughes highlights the value of dreams and how important it is to nurture them if one wants to “fly” above the rest of the world.

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Baldwin, Emma. "Mother to Son by Langston Hughes". Poem Analysis , https://poemanalysis.com/langston-hughes/mother-to-son/ . Accessed 2 August 2024.

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Mother to Son Summary & Analysis by Langston Hughes

• Line-by-Line Explanation & Analysis
• Poetic Devices
• Vocabulary & References
• Form, Meter, & Rhyme Scheme
• Line-by-Line Explanations

“Mother to Son” is a poem by Langston Hughes. It was first published in 1922 in The Crisis , a magazine dedicated to promoting civil rights in the United States, and was later collected in Hughes’s first book The Weary Blues (1926). The poem describes the difficulties that Black people face in a racist society, alluding to the many obstacles and dangers that racism throws in their way—obstacles and dangers that white people don’t have to face. At the same time, the poem argues that Black people can overcome these difficulties through persistence, resilience, and mutual support.

• Read the full text of “Mother to Son”

The Full Text of “Mother to Son”

1 Well, son, I’ll tell you:

2 Life for me ain’t been no crystal stair.

3 It’s had tacks in it,

4 And splinters,

5 And boards torn up,

6 And places with no carpet on the floor—

8 But all the time

9 I’se been a-climbin’ on,

10 And reachin’ landin’s,

11 And turnin’ corners,

12 And sometimes goin’ in the dark

13 Where there ain’t been no light.

14 So boy, don’t you turn back.

15 Don’t you set down on the steps

16 ’Cause you finds it’s kinder hard.

17 Don’t you fall now—

18 For I’se still goin’, honey,

19 I’se still climbin’,

20 And life for me ain’t been no crystal stair.

“Mother to Son” Summary

“mother to son” themes.

Racism and Perseverance

• See where this theme is active in the poem.

Line-by-Line Explanation & Analysis of “Mother to Son”

Well, son, I’ll tell you: Life for me ain’t been no crystal stair.

It’s had tacks in it, And splinters, And boards torn up, And places with no carpet on the floor— Bare.

But all the time I’se been a-climbin’ on, And reachin’ landin’s, And turnin’ corners, And sometimes goin’ in the dark Where there ain’t been no light.

Lines 14-16

So boy, don’t you turn back. Don’t you set down on the steps ’Cause you finds it’s kinder hard.

Lines 17-20

Don’t you fall now— For I’se still goin’, honey, I’se still climbin’, And life for me ain’t been no crystal stair.

“Mother to Son” Symbols

• Crystal Stair
• See where this symbol appears in the poem.

“Mother to Son” Poetic Devices & Figurative Language

End-stopped line.

• See where this poetic device appears in the poem.

Alliteration

Extended metaphor, polysyndeton, “mother to son” vocabulary.

Select any word below to get its definition in the context of the poem. The words are listed in the order in which they appear in the poem.

• A-Climbin'
• Landin's
• See where this vocabulary word appears in the poem.

Form, Meter, & Rhyme Scheme of “Mother to Son”

Rhyme scheme, “mother to son” speaker, “mother to son” setting, literary and historical context of “mother to son”, more “mother to son” resources, external resources.

Into to the Harlem Renaissance — A detailed history of the Harlem Renaissance—with links to other Harlem Renaissance writers and texts—from the Poetry Foundation.

The Weary Blues — An article from the Academy of American Poets on The Weary Blues, Langston Hughes's first book of poems, which collected "Mother to Son."

Langston Hughes's Life Story — A detailed biography of the from the Poetry Foundation.

Hughes and the Harlem Renaissance — An article on Langston Hughes's influence on the Harlem Renaissance.

The Poem Read Aloud — The actress Viola Davis and the poet Langston Hughes both recite "Mother to Son."

LitCharts on Other Poems by Langston Hughes

As I Grew Older

Aunt Sue's Stories

Daybreak in Alabama

Dream Variations

I Look at the World

Let America Be America Again

Night Funeral in Harlem

The Ballad of the Landlord

Theme for English B

The Negro Speaks of Rivers

The Weary Blues

Ask LitCharts AI: The answer to your questions

A Short Analysis of Langston Hughes’ ‘Mother to Son’

By Dr Oliver Tearle (Loughborough University)

Langston Hughes (1901-67) was a key figure in the Harlem Renaissance in New York in the 1920s. Over the course of a varied career he was a novelist, playwright, social activist, and journalist, but it is for his poetry that Hughes is now best-remembered.

‘Mother to Son’ is one of Hughes’ best-known poems, and sees a mother addressing her son, telling him about how hard and challenging her life has been, and offering him some parental advice. You can read ‘Mother to Son’ here (it takes no longer than a minute to read); below, we offer an analysis of the poem’s meaning and symbolism.

‘Mother to Son’: summary

The mother addresses her son directly, telling him that her life hasn’t been an easy or luxurious progression or climb. There have been plenty of stumbling-blocks and obstacles, which she likens to tacks, splinters of wood, or torn-up floorboards, and sometimes the wooden stairs she has trodden have been uncarpeted and bare.

She is using the image of a stair as a metaphor for her life, of course, so the image of the bare stairs suggests financial hardship where life has been stripped back to the bare necessities required for living.

Despite these setbacks, the mother tells her son that she has continued to climb, every now and then reaching a landing (where she can pause for breath) and turning a corner (much as we talk of ‘turning a corner’ in our life, when things get better), and sometimes having to walk on in the dark – something which increases the dangers, and involves making one’s way blind, not knowing what’s coming next.

At this point, the mother moves from describing her experiences to instructing her son, telling him not to turn back but to carry on and keep going, no matter how tough things might get. He shouldn’t just sit down on the steps and give up because to carry on climbing is hard-going. He shouldn’t let himself fall; after all, his mother is still walking on, still climbing the stairs of life, and things haven’t exactly been easy for her .

‘Mother to Son’: analysis

‘Mother to Son’ uses the extended metaphor of a stairwell to depict the struggles and hardships of life, and in particular, the struggles faced by an African-American mother in early twentieth-century America. The image of the stairs enables Hughes to convey not only the difficulty of persevering when things get tough, but also the idea of social climbing, or ascending the social ladder in terms of class, wealth, and cultural acceptance.

The mother begins by defining her life as a  negative : by what it is not. Her rejection of a crystal stair in the poem’s second and final lines neatly captures the lack of luxury: for many working-class African-American families, life was about making ends meet and ensuring there was enough food on the table, rather than opulence and expense. Instead, the stairs walked by the mother in Hughes’ poem are rough, dangerous (those splinters), and even, at times, bare, suggesting – as remarked above – that financial times have sometimes been hard in the mother’s past.

‘Mother to Son’ is written in free verse: unrhymed poetry without a regular rhythm or metre, and with irregular line lengths. Indeed, one line of Hughes’ poem is just one word: ‘Bare’ (appropriately enough). Hughes often wrote in free verse rather than established forms, and his looser and more free-flowing rhythms are more influenced by improvised jazz music than by iambic pentameter.

And in the case of ‘Mother to Son’, a poem spoken by a mother to her son in African-American Vernacular English (note the use of double negatives and contractions such as ‘I’se’), free verse is an appropriate vehicle for the mother’s advice to her son.

But as T. S. Eliot, W. H. Auden, and others have pointed out, free verse worthy of the name of ‘poetry’ or ‘art’ isn’t ‘free’ altogether: it cannot be completely free from formal constraints if it is to be considered poetry at all. Robert Frost’s famous disparaging of free verse as ‘playing tennis with the net down’ reminds us that even free verse which doesn’t utilise a rhyme scheme or a regular metre needs to reveal the artful control of the poet.

And although there’s no rhyme scheme in ‘Mother to Son’, there is evidence of formal constraint: note how ‘stair’ is repeated at the ends of two lines, near the beginning of the poem and then again right at the end. In between these two lines which more or less bookend the poem, we find the rhyme ‘Bare’ (which, appropriately enough, relates to the uncarpeted stair ), ‘steps’ (which is a semantic rhyme for ‘stair’, because it shares the same meaning), ‘climbin’’ (more semantic rhyme, since stairs are climbed), and ‘floor’ (related to ‘stair’ in meaning, but also an example of pararhyme or consonance).

All of these semantic and phonetic features reveal the careful control behind the verse lines, but Hughes has concealed them well so as to preserve the natural, colloquial rhythms of the mother’s address to her son. ‘Mother to Son’ artfully conceals its art, we might say, and appears artless, offhand, and conversational, to convey the idea of a mother intimately talking to her son.

Of course, we should bear in mind the gender of the speaker as well as her ethnicity. Hughes’ mother has faced double the prejudice and discrimination than her son will face, because she is a woman. When she turns to her son (‘So boy …’), there is arguably a tacit recognition of the fact that she has faced even more obstacles, and if she can keep going, he will be able to.

All of this is a critique of the American Dream : that notion that anyone, regardless of their background, can achieve greatness and prosperity in the United States, the ‘land of the free’. We know that not everyone can achieve that dream, but we also know that it will be harder for some than for others.

If the mother’s image of the crystal stair suggests a shimmering and bright path of upward mobility, which the walker need only follow, her later reference to the ‘dark’ and ‘no light’ (another example of semantic rhyme) undercuts the shining brilliance of such a fantastical ideal.

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Mother to Son

Introduction.

‘Mother to Son’ is a song composed by an African American poet and journalist Langston Hughes. It is a well-known dramatic monologue. It was printed in a magazine called The Crisis for the first time in the year 1922. It was later included in Hughes’ book titled The Weary Blues published in 1926.

Mother to Son by Langston Hughes Summary

The poem is a conversation amid a mother and son. The mother initiates the conversation saying that her life has not been easy. She has faced various hurdles and difficulties in her life. She describes the various impediments in her life as tacks, splinters and torn boards. She says that the stair, which she is trying to climb, is not carpeted which implies that her life path had not been a luxurious journey.  Nevertheless, her perseverance enables her to keep on struggling in life. Even when she is unable to see in the dark, she is still resilient. At the end of the poem, the mother commands her son never to lose hope. She instructs him to keep on climbing the stairs and never think about going down in life. She reminds him that he must always think about the hardships faced by his mother and keep on fighting against his exhaustion.  

Themes in Mother to Son

Perseverance and courage, despair and hope.

The theme of despair and hope is enforced in the poem through the symbols of “dark” and “light”. The mother in the poem admits that some stages of her life had pushed her into darkness. She had no hope in her life. Her difficult circumstances had managed to put her in depression and despair. However, she continued to struggle and eventually overcame that phase of her life.

Mother as a role model for the child

Mother to son poem analysis, lines 14-20, setting of the poem, point of view,   structural analysis of the poem.

The style of the poem is free verse and lyrical. It is written in a single stanza of twenty lines. As the structure of the poem is in free verse, therefore, there is no regular rhyming scheme. However, there are certain illustrations of rhyme in the poem as the word “stair” in the second line corresponds to “bare” in the 7th line. The metrical pattern of the poem is irregular, yet the line “Life for me ain’t been no crystal stair.” indicates trochaic meter.

Literary Devices used in the Poem

Alliteration.

Hughes utilizes anaphora in order to show the son what he should not do in life. For example in the lines, 14 and 15 “don’t” is twice used. This exemplifies that in case of adversities, we must never lose hope and fall back. The poet employs Anaphora in his poem to show the readers that although life is full of obstacles and challenges, however, we must always fight through and never think about giving up our dreams.

’Cause you finds it’s kinder hard.”

End-Stopped Line

End-stopped lines recur in the poem. Most of the lines are end-stopped. Enjambments are rarely used by the poet in the poem. End-stops play a major role. They help the poet in describing the seriousness of the hurdles encountered by the black woman. For example, each line from 3-6 defines a serious hurdle that the mother had witnessed in her life. The jagged nails and splinters and the missing steps are mentioned in a different end-stopped line. The reader pauses at each end-stop and contemplates about the nature of the difficulty faced by the narrator. All of these End-stops stress complexity and brutality of the speaker’s situation.

Stressed and unstressed syllables (Trochee)

The staircase is an extended metaphor utilized by the poet to narrate the hurdles in the life of a black woman. It represents the destitution of the mother. The metaphorical staircase of the mother has nails, shards, holes, and bare steps. It denotes the various challenges in the mother’s life.

Crystal Stair

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Langston Hughes was a central figure in the Harlem Renaissance, the flowering of black intellectual, literary, and artistic life that took place in the 1920s in a number of American cities, particularly Harlem. A major poet, Hughes also wrote novels, short stories, essays, and plays....

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Mother to Son

Well, son, I’ll tell you: Life for me ain’t been no crystal stair. It’s had tacks in it, And splinters, And boards torn up, And places with no carpet on the floor— Bare. But all the time I’se been a-climbin’ on, And reachin’ landin’s, And turnin’ corners, And sometimes goin’ in the dark Where there ain’t been no light. So boy, don’t you turn back. Don’t you set down on the steps ’Cause you finds it’s kinder hard. Don’t you fall now — For I’se still goin’, honey, I’se still climbin’, And life for me ain’t been no crystal stair.

Meanings of Mother to Son

Meanings of lines 1-7.

Well, son, I’ll tell you: Life for me ain’t been no crystal stair. It’s had tacks in it, And splinters, And boards torn up, And places with no carpet on the floor— Bare.

Meanings of Lines 8-14

But all the time I’se been a-climbin’ on, And reachin’ landin’s, And turnin’ corners, And sometimes goin’ in the dark Where there ain’t been no light. So boy, don’t you turn back.

The speaker, the mother, continues with her monologue in a suggestive mood that her son is present and that he is listening to her attentively. She tells him that despite the difficulties that life presented in her way, she continued climbing, facing landings, corners, darkness , and spaces without light. Through her own grit and perseverance, she tells him to continue and not turn back. Her implicit message is not to turn back and lose in life. Rather, he should continue climbing, and wherein lies his success. This stanza contributes to the main idea of winning through challenges which lie in continuing with perseverance.

Meanings of Lines 15-20

Don’t you set down on the steps ’Cause you finds it’s kinder hard. Don’t you fall now— For I’se still goin’, honey, I’se still climbin’, And life for me ain’t been no crystal stair.

Summary of Mother to Son

Analysis of literary devices in “mother to son”.

“Don’t you set down on the steps ’Cause you finds it’s kinder hard.”

A careful glimpse at this literary analysis shows that Langston has skillfully employed these devices to express the sentiments of a mother and the reality of life.

Analysis of Poetic Devices in “Mother to Son”

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Mother to Son Literary Devices

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Words: 610 |

Published: Mar 13, 2024

Words: 610 | Page: 1 | 4 min read

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Opening lines, metaphor and imagery, conversational tone.

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Poem Analysis of “Mother to Son”

This essay will provide an analysis of Langston Hughes’ poem “Mother to Son.” It will explore the themes of resilience, hope, and determination in the face of adversity, as conveyed through the metaphor of climbing a staircase. The piece will discuss Hughes’ use of language, imagery, and structure to deliver a powerful message about the African American experience and the universal human struggle. Additionally, PapersOwl presents more free essays samples linked to Analysis.

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Langston Hughes was an African-American born in 1902 in Missouri. He had an important role as a writer in the Harlem Renaissance and focused on the African-American experience in his writing. His parents separated not long after he was born, and he was raised by his mother and grandmother. Hughes won many awards and inspired African-Americans in the United States, he wrote poetry and plays to novels and newspapers. Over his career, he published in many genres like fiction and drama, yet always considered himself a poet.

(Britannica)

“Mother to Son” by Langston Hughes, was published in 1922. It was one of the most famous poems he had written. While living in the 1900’s Hughes and his family experienced the hardships of racism, discrimination and slavery. Therefore, the poem is not just words of encouragement from a mother to a son, but also words of encouragement to the entire African American community. In the poem “Mother to Son”, Hughes uses several poetic devices to create a poem about the hardships that are faced in the journey that is called life, and to show that courage and determination are necessary to succeed.

Hughes uses imagery to emphasize the hardships that the mother had to go through in “Mother to Son”. For example, in describing the staircase that she had to climb: “It’s had tacks in it, / And splinters, / And boards torn up, / And places with no carpet on the floor—” (Hughes, 3-6). The use of “tacks” and “splinters” (Hughes, 2-3) illustrate the pain and discomfort that the mother had to go through in life. Hughes indicates that the mother experienced hazardous circumstances, which somehow, she needed to step over to arrive where she stands now. The mother in the poem says that while climbing the stairs over the course of her life she was “…sometimes goin’ in the dark / Where there ain’t been no light.” (Hughes, 12-13). The imagery of darkness conveys the idea of being without hope. It also evokes a time of uncertainty when the mother was not sure whether she was headed in the right direction, or what she might have encountered when she reached her destination. All of this creates a vivid picture of the ragged staircase that the mother had to climb, the hard life she had.

In “Mother to Son” Hughes uses diction by laying down some particular clues that this is a southern black dialect. Some of them are the contraction of “I is” meaning a mixture of “I am” and “I have”; the addition of the prefix “a-” to the word “climbin’” (Hughes, 9) to indicate that the action is still going on; and the term of endearment “honey.” (Hughes, 18). Independently, none of these stylistic traits would be enough to identify the speaker’s culture, but Hughes does such a thorough job of weaving a pattern together, that even a reader who is unfamiliar with the author’s racial background would get a sense of who the poem’s speaker is. Hughes sought to represent African-American speech with dignity and verve for, in the hands of many white American writers, black dialect was used to preserve stereotypes of black ignorance. Hughes sought to overturn such caricatures by representing humor, strength, wisdom, and music in the plain speech of his African-American poetic personas. After carefully interpreting the mother’s insights and messages to her son, the reader recognizes that in “Mother to Son” and many of Hughes’s poems, uneducated diction signifies a lifetime of reduced opportunity rather than ignorance or lazy speech. Thus, the emotional drama of the mother’s will to persist is heightened considerably by the disadvantage that her diction bespeaks.

Langston Hughes uses free verse in “Mother to Son”. The poem is written in free verse, so it has no formal rhyme scheme. However, there are occasional rhymes such as “stair” and “bare.” (Hughes; 2, 7). The rhythm follows an informal pattern, as the poem is supposed to mimic dialogue–the way a mother would speak to her son. For example, the use of the words “ain’t” and the phrase “a-climbin’” is informal in nature. The use of free verse allows Hughes to create a poem without limitations of regular meter or rhythm.

In the poem “Mother to Son” Hughes uses repetition of consonant sounds in words that are close together. For example, the lines “Bare. / But all the time” (Hughes, 7-8) repeat the “B” sound, and the line “Don’t you set down on the steps” (Hughes, 15) repeats the “s” sound. Repetition adds to the imagery of the poem and helps support the theme. “Tell”, “ain’t”, “crystal stair”, “tacks”, “splinters”, “torn”, “places”, “carpet”, “time”, “peace”, “climb”, “corners”, “steps”: the constant repetition of p’s, t’s, and s’s render the reader completely breathless imitating the exhaustive uphill climb of stairs. Even the repeated use of specific words adds to the effect of repetition. Using the word “and” repeatedly creates a constant feeling of never-ending continuation, consequently reinforcing the theme of courage and determination, both vital factors necessary to continue the “stair climbing”. The line “Life for me ain’t been no crystal stair” (Hughes; 2, 20) is also repeated to give this idea emphasis. This poem mimics the way a person would speak, and it also includes an extended metaphor of a crystal stair–the easy path that the mother’s life has definitely not followed in her hardscrabble existence.

Hughes uses extended metaphor in the poem “Mother to Son” to conjoin life and a staircase, he says: “Well, son, I’ll tell you: / life for me ain’t been no crystal stair.” (Hughes, 1-2). The mother says to her son, that life is not an easy journey that can be stroll through. Instead, in this passage of the poem, she tells her son that life is hard, full of stumbling blocks, but one must keep climbing, one cannot turn back or sit down, because one will catch a break, a turn, a landing, and keep going. Each step symbolizes a part of her life that she had to endure. Throughout the poem “Mother to Son”, Hughes compares life to a staircase and bases his main idea around the crystal staircase. The mother in the poem compares her life to all the glorious things that it is not. Crystal is seen as beautiful, pure, clear and valuable. The mother explains that her life is not any of these things. She also showcases her life as being filled with “tacks” and “splinters” (Hughes, 3-4). These splinters and tacks are metaphors for the obstacles one encounters throughout life. They represent the harsh reality of life, as opposed to the ideal fantasy life.

In conclusion, Langston Hughes’s moving poem “Mother to Son” empowers not only the son, but also the reader with precious words of wisdom. Through the skillful use of several poetic devices, Hughes manages to create the image of a mother lovingly, yet firmly, talking to her son about life. The advice is simple but pertinent to the poetic theme: in order to overcome the hurdles of life, a person must possess courage and determination.

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Langston Hughes' "Mother to Son": An Analysis

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Introduction

Langston hughes: a brief background.

Analyzing "Mother to Son"

Structural analysis.

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Langston Hughes: “Harlem” and “Mother to Son” Essay

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The introduction

The conclusion, works cited, some biographical points.

While finding correlations between Langston Hughes’s experiences and his poems, there are some fundamentals concerning the poet’s life, which must be considered. First of all, it should be pointed out that James Mercer Langston Hughes is considered to be one of the most famous American poets, who contributed into jazz poetry development. Hughes is also known as a successful novelist and a social activist. The poet took part in a cultural movement of 1920-1930, which is best known as The Harlem Renaissance (“Poetry: Langston Hughes” par. 2).

The poems written by Langston Hughes reflected his inner feelings and the issues he was interested in.

The poems I would like to discuss are Harlem and Mother to Son. Of course, the title of the first poem reminds us of the events, which took place in the early twenties. In my opinion, the author reflected not only his own views concerning the expectations of African-American population, but he also depicted the ways America reacted to the legacy of the Harlem Renaissance.

When reading the poem, it becomes obvious that the poet wanted the black artists could feel free and express their inner emotions. The poet defended his own ideas and supported the black activists. As far as Hughes took active part in a cultural movement, one can make a conclusion that the poem reflects his deep concern in social issues (“Profile: Langston Hughes” par. 4).

On the one hand, it seems that the poem is rather simple and has no the point; however, one the other hand, when analyzing the hidden meaning of the lines the poem consists of, it becomes obvious that a well-known social activist tires to answer a serious question: “ What happens to a dream deferred ?” (Reuben par. 1).

The final line seems to be the answer to the question, although the answer has a form of a question, i.e.: “ Or does it explode? ” (Reuben par. 1). Thus, the analysis of the lines the poem includes gives us an opportunity to suppose that Hughes depicted the issues he was interested in, the issues, which can be regarded as burning problems of his time.

Harlem has unusual rhyme. Maybe, it is the correspondence of sound between words, which makes the process of understanding the poem more difficult. Tom Hansen is of the opinion that “Rhyme is integrated with structure in a way that typography is not. If the typography had been, structure would be that much more evident, and the poem would appear to be more logically divided into stanzas” (par. 4).

Mother to Son

The second poem written by Langston Hughes is Mother to Son. While discussing a piece of writing, I have to point out that famous social activist had poor relations with his father. The key reason of such relations was his father’s attitude towards Negroes. The poet could not understand why his father disliked the Blacks.

Generally, the poem reflects the author’s values and attitudes towards life. When analyzing the poem, it becomes evident that the poet is ready to fight for his ideas and thoughts. The line And reachin’ landin’s determines Hughes’s readiness to achieve all the aims he settled earlier.

Moreover, when reading the poem, one can also understand that the poet is not afraid of doing new things. He is not going to give up. The line And sometimes goin’ in the dark can be interpreted differently. Thus, for Tiffany Bond the line means that “maybe black people in general have experienced the worst of times first, and maybe the load will be a little lighter for later generations” (par. 3). In my opinion, the phrase means that the poet is ready to face the difficulties.

The importance of the poet’s ideas

Langston Hughes’s poems reflect his worldview and the ways he accepted the reality. For a social activist the wellbeing of his nation is extremely important, as he was fighting against injustice all the time.

Bond, Tiffany. Mother To Son , 2006.

Hansen, Tom. On “Harlem” , 2000.

“ Poetry: Langston Hughes .” Uchicago.edu , (n. d.).

“Profile: Langston Hughes.” Virginia.edu, (n. d.).

Reuben, Paul. Chapter 9: Langston Hughes, 2011.

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Bibliography

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Parents Need to Talk to Their Sons About Care

L ast year over an impromptu mother-daughter lunch, one of us (Kate Washington) listened with delight as daughter Nora, then 17 and a high-school senior, enthused about her future and the hands-on, creative career she wanted. Then Nora paused between bites of gyro and asked: “The problem is, how do I balance that with being a mom? Let’s be real—moms do more. I don’t know if it can work, and my friends don’t either."

Later, we—two authors who have written extensively on  caregiving  and  equality in partnerships —talked about the conversation. We agreed that it felt painful to see the gender inequity in  mental load  arising so early, and even worse after Nora answered a follow-up question about her how many of her male peers seemed concerned about balancing career and care responsibilities with a snort of contempt and a simple “Zero.” 

The inequitable split of cognitive labor in different-sex relationships suggests that Nora is probably right. But if even very young women worry about combining care responsibilities with work, the question, then, becomes: why don’t young men?

The obvious answer is “because they don’t have to.” But if we want equity in heterosexual partnerships, we need to be teaching young men to consider the balance of care and work.

Are families talking about care? Yes, but mostly with girls.

We decided to investigate whether and how parents are discussing this issue with their sons. To do this, we designed a survey to collect stories from parents of male-identifying children aged 16-21. 

We chose to focus only on sons because existing research and personal experience both tell us girls receive this message everywhere. For example,  women adjust their careers for family life  and, thanks to a gender gap in career advice , young women receive much more mentorship regarding work-life balance than young men do. We also know caregiving is a female-coded activity: women  do more unpaid care labor  in the U.S. and globally; care work is underpaid and  undervalued ; and there’s still  a significant gender pay gap . 

We circulated our survey through our social media networks. We received 120 responses, overwhelmingly (86%) from women—a percentage that suggests how much invisible labor falls to women, even when it comes to shifting gender roles. 

Our small snapshot of 120 families offered a fascinating glimpse into how even the relatively narrow issue of talking to boys about future care and work mirrored and revealed the gender norms present in adult life: We value men’s time over women’s time, and we assume women will carry the domestic load, whereas domestic responsibility is optional for men. 

Care conversations mirror adult excuses

We asked two yes/no questions: whether the respondent had ever initiated a conversation with their son about balancing future work with family commitments, and whether their son had initiated such a conversation with anyone. The majority (58.3%) said they had not raised this conversation, and a bigger majority (70.8%) said their son had not. It’s also safe to assume these results were skewed towards our identity categories and ideological leanings (we are both white, cisgender women); a larger sample would likely produce a wider gap. 

But the most revealing responses were to the survey’s open questions, which offered space to describe and contextualize these discussions, or to comment on why such conversations had not occurred.

Out of all the respondents who gave reasons why they had not had these conversations with their sons, three wrote comments that suggested they saw the survey as a wake-up call. One wrote, “I definitely SHOULD talk to my son about this and plan to! Thanks for pointing it out!” The majority of the other responses, however, took a more defensive tone, falling into four main categories—some of which (ironically) echoed male excuses for lack of equity in adult partnerships.

Read More: You Might Want to Quiet Quit Housework, Too

Many respondents (14) said that they haven’t discussed future family roles because that future is too far away. “My sons…are both very focused on the here and now,” said one; others noted their sons don’t or shouldn’t think about this now, given the pressures of sports, clubs, studies, and friends. As parents ourselves, we know it’s tough to get some kids to think about next week’s math test, let alone faraway career and family choices. Ultimately, however, we read these responses as symptomatic of male privilege: boys don’t have to think about work-care balance, because society doesn’t expect them to be responsible for a home. After all, girls like Nora balance the same pressures, yet still mull over issues around work/life balance. 

Several (nine) respondents claimed explicit discussions weren’t necessary, because their families modeled this value. “I know my son has seen his father and I make adjustments in our work lives to take care of him and our elderly parents,” said one mom; a dad described that he did the household laundry, and another is responsible for school pick up. As one of us (Kate Mangino) found in researching her book  Equal Partners , however, we can’t assume that role-modeling will naturally make children follow our lead. And since cognitive labor is invisible, we also need to be clear about when parents are truly splitting the mental load, versus one parent helping out.

Another frequent excuse was what academics call “gender unaware” behavior: treating all children equally and assuming an equal outcome. Several parents (six) admitted that they’d never had this conversation with their son, but said they’d also never had it with their daughter or non-binary child. Since we know girls get strong cultural messages about care responsibilities, however, future equity might require talking to boys about caregiving far more than we talk to girls. 

Finally, some (five) pointed to the fact that their son did not want kids, so this conversation was not needed. Interestingly, the survey referred broadly to care responsibilities (which could include elder care or caring for an ill partner), not to parenting exclusively. People provide care to others in their life besides children, and it’s important that we normalize doing so. 

How to have better care conversations

The 23 parents who described their care conversations with their sons gave us valuable and practical insights into how any of us—including teachers, coaches, family members and friends—can broach this topic with boys in our lives. 

As with any conversation with teens, choosing the right moment is key. One parent said she spoke to her son about care when they were on a run together and both were relaxed and open to conversation. Plus, they were already chatting about memories of his grandparents, so the topic arose naturally. 

Linking a care discussion to any topic he’s interested in is another good stratagem. One respondent has used viral memes and TikTok videos to spark caregiving conversations. And capitalize on any curiosity boys show: when one respondent’s 16-year-old was job seeking, she said his questions about adult work-life balance “led to a more in-depth conversation about how responsibilities change as we age.”

Don’t let boys off the hook of this conversation; even if your son wants a time-intense job and thinks paying for care is enough, remind him that caregiving is everyone’s responsibility. Explain that we all receive care at some point in our lives, and we should all plan to give care as well.

Read More: Don’t Tell a Caregiver to Stay Positive. Here’s How to Help Instead

If you’re already modeling household gender equity, discuss it as a conscious parenting decision. One respondent said she and her spouse talk about how they “flex to support each other.” 

Finally, know that this will not be a one-and-done conversation. One respondent wrote, “Similar to my approach with sex, sexual health, porn, drugs, alcohol, it’s sort of an ongoing conversation that happens naturally.” 

Changing gender norms takes intention and effort, and must emphasize the importance of care work with boys to counter the over-emphasis on women as nurturers. Although we know it will take more than a few conversations to shift the bigger culture of care, dialogue with boys is one way we reach a world where the question, “So how many boys you know are thinking about care?” warrants not a snort, but the answer society needs: “Everyone I know thinks about how we care for each other.”

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Looking for the Woman Who Made Us

After a lifetime apart, my brothers and i went searching for our biological mother. we found family instead..

Two years ago, I stood with my brother Evan, then 36, 16 months older than me, in a parking lot in upstate New York, several hours away from our respective homes. Our older brother, Eric, who had recently turned 40, was on the other side of the lot talking animatedly with a stranger, an older man wearing giant aviator sunglasses and a military-style jacket, his long, shaggy hair streaked with red dye.

“What do you think they’re talking about?” I asked Evan.

“No idea,” he responded. “Which apartment do you think is hers?”

We scanned the surrounding two-story apartment complex for a sign of the woman who gave birth to us.

I always knew I was adopted . I paid little mind to the idea of my birth mother and didn’t consciously feel that being adopted was of major significance. I grew up the only child of parents with whom I was exceptionally close. Everyone knew my mother was my best friend, it was a thing . Strangers remarked on how much we resembled each other, despite the fact that when examined closely, none of our features are alike. But, as mother and child, we fit. When other kids asked who my “real parents” were, I’d explain that my real parents are my parents, the ones raising me, full stop. I’d won the adoptive-parents jackpot, and while I knew there was another dimension that existed inside of me, I felt protective of our family unit.

Still, sometimes, I’d wistfully gaze out the window and wonder about the people I came from, if they grieved me day in and out. I’d thank them quietly for giving me life and giving me to the right family, letting them know they need not worry, I was loved unconditionally. Despite my close bond with my parents, I felt of another time and place, and derived inordinate joy whenever I found someone who liked any of the same things I did. I often wondered if I had a sibling: where they were, who they were with, what they liked and dreamed of.

My brothers and I had each left our spouses and children at home for a weekend at an Airbnb decorated with several variations of “Live, Laugh, Love” signs, to act like idiots together after a lifetime of separation and attempt to get a glimpse of our biological mother in person. We were in her Finger Lakes town. We hadn’t hatched a concrete plan — how to find her, if we would tell her who we were, how to avoid rattling her — which was fitting, given that she never had plans for any of us. She was diagnosed with schizophrenia in her late 20s and refused medication. Her life since had been shaped by paranoia, auditory hallucinations, and, I’ve learned, denial of our existence.

Prior to this investigatory weekend trip, I’d spent a lot of time wondering if seeing the three of her children together would elicit a spark of recognition in her. I’d seen old photos and it was clear we looked alike — same thick, blond hair and large, downturned blue eyes. We’d been told by family members that she’d gush over any and all young boys she encountered on the street or in stores, which those around her figured was due to the fact she gave up her own sons; maybe she’d be drawn to one of my brothers or both. According to family and childhood friends, she liked talking to anyone with ears, so maybe she’d just strike up a conversation with all three of us at once.

But I knew that even when her stomach had swelled to the size of a watermelon, she refused to believe she was pregnant. Though we were more difficult to deny once we emerged from her body, she declined to hold or look at me or Eric. Maybe it was too painful knowing she’d have to give us away, or maybe the medication she was administered during her third-trimester hospitalizations bludgeoned her ability to emote.

With Evan, we knew that in July 1985, she arrived on Cape Cod — where she’d spent summers since she was a girl — nine months pregnant, sleeping on a friend’s boat, denying she was carrying a child. In a state of psychosis, she gave birth to her second son and named him after her then-husband, William, who she claimed was his father despite the fact that he had a vasectomy. (His adoptive parents changed his name to Evan.) After giving birth, she vacillated between wanting to keep Evan and remarking on his beauty to showing zero awareness of him or her surroundings. She discharged herself without notifying the hospital staff, leaving Evan behind. He was transferred to a foster mother until his adoptive parents gave him a permanent home four months after his birth.

When I became a mother, it became difficult to minimize the fact that I was given up at birth. When I held my son for the first time, nursed him, felt his skin, kissed his head, I understood the magnitude of what it was to carry a child and give it away. I pictured myself alone in a bassinet for two days, pityingly looked after by hospital staff before my parents came to take me home.

I’d always suffered from anxiety, and as the postpartum months unfolded, it became debilitating. In the past, I hadn’t considered its potential cause, whether it might be some combination of biology and being abandoned at birth. When my son was 2, I was venting to my parents about my neuroses when my mother asked if I wanted to know about my biological mother.  Sure, I said, and so my parents shared her full name and that she was 39 years old when she gave birth to me — which took me by surprise. I’d envisioned her as a teenager my entire life. Two years later, in early 2020, just before COVID-19 brought an end-of-days feeling to New York City, I visited my father while he was recovering from surgery uptown. My mother was there, too, and once again we discussed my anxiety. She asked if I’d been wondering more about my biological mother.

She pulled out her iPhone and brought up a Facebook account for my biological uncle’s widow, my aunt. Her name had been listed in the online obituaries for my biological grandmother and uncle. My mother had come across those obituaries when she Googled my biological mother’s name, which, unbeknownst to me, she’d been doing every so often for years in an attempt to gather answers about where I came from. She knew I’d inevitably ask questions and wanted to be prepared. So there, in the hospital room with my mother and father, I messaged my biological mother’s sister-in-law.

It took her two months to respond. My husband, son, and I had moved into my parents’ suburban home to ride out the pandemic. We were living in my childhood bedroom, and I had just gone on anxiety medication for the first time, my body still making sense of its new chemistry, when my aunt divulged details that I’d never known: My biological mother, who could go from being disarmingly charming to yelling accusations at strangers — “You’re in the CIA,” “You’re a whore” — had paranoid schizophrenia for which she refused treatment, my aunt told me. I had two older siblings who had also been given up by the same mother, and my oldest sibling, Eric, had revealed himself and met our late grandmother before she passed. We’d still have to hunt down the middle sibling — “I don’t have info on that one,” my aunt said matter-of-factly.

I crumbled in my childhood bedroom, my parents wiping my tears. It became clear that my biological mother never grieved for me at all, that my parents rescued me in a state of emergency. Her family and friends regarded her illness as tragic, and the three children she gave away as the ultimate manifestation of this tragedy.

Still, I wanted more. Once I learned a little, I had to know everything; the need for details was manic, unrelenting. My mother and I launched an amateur investigation unit into the strangers from whom I emerged. A cousin, who I met on 23andMe, told me her father housed my biological mother at his place in Palm Springs in the ’80s, where she was hanging out with pro golfers. Realistically, they might have been instructors, but my mother and I nonetheless proceeded to scan countless Google images of cup winners from the era for signs of my biological father, their swoops of brown hair and square jaws and crow’s-feet all seemingly blending into one face.

In part, I was distracting myself from the anticipation of meeting Eric. I was waiting for my aunt to connect us, as she’d  promised. Six days passed and there was still no word from her. I feared she told him about me and he didn’t want to meet me. With my parents’ and husband’s encouragement, I flicked her a text to check in; it had slipped her mind somehow.

Soon, my new brother and I were on the line. Our upbringings were very different, but elements of our personalities were the same: class clowns, late bloomers in romantic relationships. Both feeling slightly out of place in the world. When our families got together two months later, our kids became cousins, our spouses became fast friends. It was surreal and bittersweet.

A year and a half later, we tracked down Evan, a seemingly needle-in-the-haystack feat. We were initially reluctant to pursue him, hoping he’d pop up on one of the DNA databases, trying to respect what we assumed were his wishes to remain unaware of his genetic history. But we grew impatient, so I contacted a private investigator in Massachusetts, where he was born. The PI generously connected me to a woman who worked at the Massachusetts Department of Children and Families, and everything unfolded from there.

In the months that followed, my brothers and I spoke on a daily, sometimes hourly basis over group text, phone calls, and Instagram DM. We discussed mundane things, our day-to-day goings-on, as well as the heavier, haunting memories from our respective pasts. By telling my brothers the things that have gnawed at me — a falling-out with a friend, a past failure at work, a long-ago embarrassing moment — I was relieved of much of the pain that accumulated within me. There was never enough time together, no amount of storytelling or photo exchanging that could make up for the lost years. While I was excited and captivated by our drawn-out game of catch-up, I also experienced grief from not having them during my formative moments. I struggled to make sense of the highs and lows of my new reality.

Now, my siblings and I were together, standing at the entrance to our biological mother’s apartment complex, trying to appear as though our presence was nothing out of the ordinary. It turned out that the man who Eric had befriended in the parking lot knew her. They were friends; she relied on him to drive her to get cheap beer and other provisions. He was fascinated by her seemingly glamorous background and deciphering what was real and what she’d conjured in her mind. And she was now about to make her way down the path into the parking lot, he said, so we should stay put.

“Holy crap, Casey,” Evan whispered urgently, “she looks just like you. Just like you.” I looked over at the woman we came from, a petite figure dressed in shin-high rubber boots over jeans and a navy-blue ski cap. I was amazed at how delicate she was. Her face was angled toward the ground, and we observed her as she actively avoided crossing our path. She passed the staircase, zooming right by us.

“Excuse me,” Eric called.

“Yes?” she answered in a bright, clear voice.

“Excuse me, can you tell me of a good place to eat around here?”

“Just there, down the road,” she said, confident and self-assured, speaking in a youthful tone that didn’t match her 74 years. “There are all the restaurants, places to eat.”

“Oh, okay, uh,” Eric said, attempting to keep her talking. “So there’s like a —”

“Right there, down the road,” she said, waving her long, elegant hand. And then her face turned toward ours and I saw myself. Rounded eyebrows and big square teeth. I couldn’t make out all the specifics of her features, but in that moment I had a glimmer of understanding of what it must be like to grow up with a family member who looks like you, and to take it for granted; to not obsess over details of familial resemblance but simply recognize your own essence in the face, body, and presence of another person, without effort or thought.

“And they serve breakfast?” Eric asked.

Slightly agitated by our ignorance and persistence, but unfailingly polite, she responded: “There’s a place called Bobby’s, on the corner.” She had immaculate diction, a transatlantic accent. We watched her figure fade into the distance, back into her building. Her voice sounded so much like mine in pitch and tone. We looked at one another and exchanged shocked smiles. Even though she’d more or less avoided us, we felt relief: She was alive and vibrant, a body with purpose in the world, not decrepit as I’d envisioned.

“Funny, she never does that. She always stops to say hello, talks and talks. You could blow your brains out with how much she talks,” her friend said.

This stranger served as a portal into our biological mother in the present day. A woman with a complicated brain who lived very simply. No attachments except to her routines and habits. She slathered her face in Vaseline to ensure it remained relatively supple. The Vaseline lady, that’s what they call her around town, her friend told us. She neglected to check her mail and answered the door for strangers in an oversize T-shirt, no bra. She tried to flirt with rich old men with summer homes on the lake. She talked about all the old boyfriends, about getting laid, he explained.

In a lot of ways, she was the same girl as she was in her 20s, when whispers of her psychosis began. Her voice and mannerisms and diminutive stature all felt like that of a girl. There were many things she did, like having us, that should’ve changed her but didn’t. She carried on, clinging to select elements of her past while remaining unable to accept others.

Through conversations with our aunt, Eric’s relationship with our late biological grandmother, and now, through her friend, our mother’s life was coming into sharper focus. There’d been a beach house on the Cape, yearlong travels through Europe, boyfriends who owned galleries, a well-heeled liberal-arts college. Then there were the years on the road, living out of her car while traversing the country, collecting men along the way. Now, there was her small two-bedroom apartment that she kept sparkling clean, waxing the floors day in and day out, shoving every last article of clothing into her closets. Doing her same toning exercises from the Jane Fonda days, lifting her legs with pointed toes. There is no TV because of what she calls “The Wires.” The Wires are how the FBI and the Mafia tap into your activities. The small iPhone computers are intriguing, but she knows better than to trust them. All she has is a landline phone that she leaves unplugged, except for when she needs to make an outgoing call. She’d prefer to catch up on the day’s news at Wegmans and enlist her friend from the parking lot to help her take care of her affairs, driving her to the flea market or supermarket or wherever she needs to go.

“You know, I think she’d be open to meeting you three,” he said.

“You really think so?” I said. “She seems to want nothing to do with us.”

“She always has people coming by,” he said. “You should tell her who you are.”

Nothing about our biological mother’s behavior indicated that she wanted to meet us. And, leading up to this trip, I didn’t think that we’d actually be exposing ourselves, letting her know we’re the ones she gave away. There was no need to stir the pot, to create chaos when she already had enough clamor in her mind. It would be selfish and potentially dangerous. What if she had an outburst that required police intervention? I was already grateful enough that my brothers and I could begin to emerge from the grief of not having grown up together and could now create a new life. I had my parents who welcomed this new reality, patient and accepting and sharing in my excitement. I saw the woman who brought me into the world and now understood that I didn’t fall from the sky like an alien. Wasn’t I pushing my luck by chasing her?

Nonetheless, we were soon making our way up her staircase. We arrived at a landing at the top of the first stairwell, right outside her door. I knew this was ill-conceived, but I couldn’t resist the momentum. We were here and needed to commit.

I pressed my back against the opposite wall, as far away from her door as possible. Evan joined me in seeking distance but pulled out his phone and began discreetly recording, so we could remember the sound of her voice.

Eric knocked on the door. “No, no thank you,” she responded quickly. She sounded so young.

“Oh, I’m sorry, we’re just —”

“You should never knock on a stranger’s door,” she said, reprimanding us like she would her own children.

“You’re … ” I made sure to say her name, let her know I knew it.

“Go away!” she shouted. “Just go away.”

We took a beat before scampering down the steps as fast as we could, bolting out the front door. We’d been gifted with an answer, go away, the words confirming what I already knew: that our lives had taken the exact trajectories they were supposed to.

In my gut, I know she knew who we were. I wanted her to know we were raised well — that, despite our current actions, we weren’t disrespectful. Just curious.

So we respected her command. For now.

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Woman honors her late mom when meeting dad’s new girlfriend in the most savage way

A nursing student’s tribute to her late mother is tickling funny bones on TikTok.

In a now-viral video, Kayla Menoscal, 20, films herself smiling as she walks to meet her father, Dave, and his girlfriend, Maria. 

“Strategically wearing my dead mom’s perfume to visit my dad and his new gf,” Menoscal wrote on the clip. She then proceeds to lip synch along to Fleetwood Mac’s “Silver Springs” haunting lyric “You’ll never get away from the sound of the woman that loves you.”

“I always wore my mom’s wedding band around my dad and his new wife (who he started dating 2 months after my mom died),” one person wrote in the comments.

Other reactions included:

• “The way I would never do this to my father.”
• “I pray my daughter slays the same way.”
• “Let the man live and love again.”
• “You are so insanely real for this.”
• “Fighting the urge to send this to my kids. Hopefully the algorithm does it for me.”
• “As a fellow member of the Dead Mom Society, I commend this post.”

Sue Menoscal, a teacher, died of cancer in 2022 at age 57. She exclusively wore Coach’s floral Poppy fragrance.

“When I put it on, it makes me see her face so clearly,” Menoscal tells TODAY.com . “It’s as if she’s right in front of me.”

Dave Menoscal shares frequent photos and tributes on Instagram to his late wife.

"Susie, I keep watching for you to come through the door so that I know it’s all a bad dream," he wrote in part, earlier this year. "I still hide my tears when I say your name. the pain in my heart is still the same although I smile and seem carefree there’s no one that misses you more than me."

Menoscal, who attends school in Boston, says she was “freshly 18” when her mom passed away.

“She was awesome,” Menoscal says. “I feel like she really gave me the tools I needed to be an adult and to be OK without her. And I am so grateful for that.”

Menoscal is also grateful to Maria, who she says makes her dad “really happy.”

“I feel like my video came off way more malicious that it was meant to,” Menoscal says. The good news is that Maria wasn’t offended.

“My dad and her both thought it was hilarious,” Menoscal says. "They couldn't stop laughing."

Rachel Paula Abrahamson is a lifestyle reporter who writes for the parenting, health and shop verticals. Her bylines have appeared in The New York Times, Good Housekeeping, Redbook, and elsewhere. Rachel lives in the Boston area with her husband and their two daughters. Follow her on Instagram .

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